Lightfoot

Good point, well made Sir. And top marks for observation

Nah, I think Colin Farrell would play me, and the guy who played the long-haired scientist who retro-engineered the alien spaceship in Area51 in "Independence Day" would play Alasdair...

There are some who would say this thread STARTED OFF well creepy....

Pogo - that second 'bellybutton' is more likely than not your anus.....

Noted. But I would take the view that its only annoying if you let it annoy you. Nobody forces anyone else to look at or respond to a thread. If you don't like the look/tone of a thread then ignore it, surely? I've started (what?) 3-4 threads in three days. Hardly a symptom of an annoying twat Forum Nerd?? But thanks, anyway, for the feedback. Good to know the 'protocol' of this particular forum. PS: if anyone else wants to let me know they are pissed off with my threads by responding "Shut up", then they can FOAD

jeez! sensitive characters or what?!

Oh dear. Classic defensive-aggressive response there EC. I can only assume you suffer from hairy nipples, aye? No worries darling, get yourself along to Semi-Chem; they'll sort you out. That one's for free btw

It must be one of the last taboos. You chat up this burd, take her out for a few drinks, introduce her to your mates, it’s all going well. You’re odds-on for your Nat King. Lots of flirty chat, back to her/your place (delete as appropriate), some serious face-ragging snogging, through to the bedroom, kit off, bra hits the floor and….. WTF!!??!!?? Hairy buds!! Anyone been there? Pretty fuckin’ grim innit?

Fuckin' hell, been ages since I heard the phrase "Ace-ic"! Ok, I'll chip in with lying along the settee, munching my way through a pkt of McVities Chocolate Digestives, farting gratuitously and watcing Family Guy till half past midnight. Sweet.....

Plenty of Fish is free, so that means you get all the unemployed and unemployable cooncil estate skanks on there. Not so much "Friends-With-Benefits" as "Fiends-ON-Benefits". OK if you have zero standards. But there's a huge cross section online. I've dated (but not drilled) Tesco check-out girls and international opera singers! I've got a 1:2 hit rate - i.e, I bag half the birds I date. That's almost as good a goals-per-game ratio as Lionel Messi! Thing is, most of these dating websites are merged anyway: PoF, Single With Kids, Uniform Dating, Kissing Gate, all the radio station dating websites. So I get emails fae bints in Devon who are on WestCountryFM Dating.com asking if I'd like to meet up! Aye, that's right quine, like I'm gonna drive 500 mls to St Ives for a shag!

Not a commission as such. But there are, shall we say, 'fringe benefits'. Every time I bag a chick at her place I always try and nick a pair of her skimpies as a trophy. This usually happens when she's downstairs making the tea, having a piss or brushing 'product' out of her hair. I've got quite a collection now. Some quite classy gear. Others bog-standard Markies or George at Asda stuff. One tart I drilled in Falkirk cottoned on after I'd got home and sent me a text saying if I didn't return her gear she'd report me to the police for stealing! That was a close call.

Scouts Honour Scootray. I'm on MatchMeNowNaughty.co.uk. I was on MatchMeNow.co.uk and MaritalAffair.co.uk previously Hands up though, a few of themhave been absolute f'ing growlers. But a hole's a hole, eh? I'm in a comp with a guy in the office here; he's a rail buff (total nerd/geek/loser hybrid) and will spend his weekend travelling by rail across Scotland - just for the 'thrill' (direct quote). Anyway this nerd aims to get to 50,ooo rail miles before I bag fifty chicks online. He's at 8000 mls. I'm at 28 notches. The race is on....

Oh balls, that's really sad to hear. Mike was always a really 'full-on' kinda guy. Nothing in half measures. He was like this when we were at school, too. Totally immerseed himself in stuff. Sounds like he totally immersed himself in drink too. Mike - at his best - was the life-and-soul of any party. He had a HUGE personality, absolutely larger than life. Still can't believe it was drink that got him at only 38 FFS! It's very very sad.

I'm averaging one-a-month since I joined. It comes and goes in cycles. Sometimes its like a poontang desert. Nothing for weeks on end. Nada, zip, zero, nul points, nienete. Then, for no apparent reason, its like I'm George Clooney's younger, better looking brother. I'm fighting them off with a stick. I've had a couple of scares though, mostly with embarassing rashes on my bell end. Nothing that a trip to the chemist wont take care of. I'm a walking, talking festival of STI's!!

Just cos you have a burd doesnt mean you get a ride. There's plenty of married fanjita online who aren't getting any, whose hubbies have gone off the boil or let themselves go, and they just want a bit of 'fun' away from home. Those are the ones I like. Nae ties, no complications. Just a quick lunchtime rumble in the local Holiday Inn Express. I've earned SO MANY loyalty points on the back of this illicit shagging....