Leaderboard

xx

When I was about 5 or 6 my dad was looking after my sisters and I one night. It was late at night, during a storm and there had been a power cut. We were huddled around a candle in one of the bedrooms. My dad left the room to go get a flashlight and whatnot. He had been away a good 10 minutes so we started shouting after him and were all getting a bit scared but he wasn't replying. We figured he'd gone out to the shed. A few minutes later we heard a sharp bang coming from one of the other bedrooms. We all freaked the fuck out. Then BANG... another one... then another one. Maybe 10 seconds apart, it just kept banging. It stopped after a while so I stuck my head out the door into the pitch dark and once again shouted for my dad. As soon as I did... BANG. I ran back into the bedroom. Silence for a while... then I decided I'd be the brave older brother and went out into the lobby and started tip toeing around the house shouting back to my sisters every few seconds saying there was nothing there. I get to the bedroom where the sound was coming from... slowly creaked open the door and saw two glowing eyes catching the moonlight. I immediately shrieked and legged it back to the bedroom, grabbed my sisters and we all tip toed back into the room to see what the fuck it was... We turned on the light without looking... It was my fucking dad playing a joke on us. He was lobbing marbles into a plastic laundry basket! Prick!

Complications from concussion... caused by years of being hit on the head by a wooden spoon, I heard. Only Badger knows the truth and tbh his silence on the matter speaks volumes.

Bet you guys never thought you would see me again. (Or wished. either way.) No one was called "Hedges" which was unfortunate at best. I'm the only member who still pursues music (As far as I know, maybe Stefan & Benson are still about). to put things straight for all the members who thought the thread was cruel, Don't, It gave me the kick up the ass I needed. For all of you who found and still find it funny, go ahead, Everyone is stupid when they are 15. (Fuck I chuckle at the myspace & thread every now and then). I will say I was genuinely that stupid as to not understand the sarcasm that was blatantly happening in that thread. Anyway I just popped in to say I hope you're all doing well for yourselves and thank you. I probably wouldn't work as hard as I do now if it weren't for you lot taking the piss. ~Have fun, Steve.

Yet not one of you moaning bastards would glass each other in a pub like a real man would.

Be a GBOL and donate or set up a box in your office/work etc for collection. http://imgur.com/a/QFwgR [/img]

Man reading this has made me properly nostalgic. I think my early 20s, (i.e. 2002-2007) was the most enjoyable period of my life - mostly as a result of the aberdeen music scene and this site. Particular highlights were the 2 Balmedie wasteland BBQs (well I went to 2, there may have been more), and the wasteland Paintballing day out organised by Jason. Love the fact that you could just turn up to any gig, or Moshulu on a friday on your own knowing full well you'd know everyone when you got there. Myspace somewhat ruined things, and started to make this place a little redundant, or at least less apperciated - because having random kids from USA like your band photo became more important than writing the best songs you could and playing Lava/Kef ("4 local bands... £8 please") 400 times until you were actually not a totally shit band anymore. 'Real' bands music was less pro-tooled* as well so everything sounded a bit more unique back then, with all its imperfections and individual production/performances. As much as I still absolutely love listening to, writing and playing music these days - it meant so much more back then, and you could attach it to real memories and experiences. I'm happy with how my life turned out, but even when a great new album comes out it's not the same when the event I attach it is driving to my work place of 11 years, doing the weekly shop, watching something on netflix, and then going to bed at a semi-reasonable hour. Memories. * And I say this as a massive fan and avid (arf) user of pro tools for ten years now.

Sure. Perhaps a quick "Are you using mailers or jiffy bags?" would do. I still have the e-mail of the best one! Here it is: "Please send ASAP to *address*. You should not use a jiffy bag, and you should send by following these steps: Step one. take the record out of the sleeve. dust off any of your fingerprints, dust or residue present before sending. Step two. place 12x12 card between sleeve and LP still inside paper sleeve (this stops the sleeve from bending around the shape of the vinyl) with additional card on outside of sleeve and outside of LP. Step three. place in mailer (here is an example of a record mailer - *link* please use this kind) in the assembled order from step two. Step four. send to me via special delivery. I expect you to send as above as I do not wish to use negative feedback. thanks" He didn't even pay for Special Delivery postage, the cheeky shite! Nah. Fuck that. You're getting it in a bin bag, after I've pissed on it.

"A" flame thread...

Adam West In Peace.

I'm gonna be rich when I open a gentleman's barber that sells siphon coffee stout in a viking horn and a gourmet burger that drips beard oil into your face muff as you bite into it cos it only has a top bun.

They're being unreasonable. I'm sitting with a friend so read this out to him and he suggested your pal just do something nice for the whole office. Use some of the money to throw a party, put some money behind a bar or take them out to dinner. This way she doesn't need to feel guilty about it once it's done and if the supervisor is still being a prick to her after it, they can't really justify it.

Yeah. That was me. Let's fight. My beef is more with Amazon Logistics. Amazon have somehow put together their own courier service that is worse than Yodel ever was. They keep delivering my stuff to a similar address a mile down the road. It's a different post code, and a different street name. They both just have St Peter in the name. I have to keep going to the guys house to get it, and he's getting pissed off with me. But what can I do? I keep getting on Amazons case about my address. I even screenprinted Google maps of where I live and emailed it to them asking them to stick it on the packaging, so their shithead driver can find me. But it still gets sent to the wrong house. I have to get everything sent to the Amazon lockers now, and they're ages away. Recently, an Amazon driver knocked on my door and gave me a parcel. (They can find me when it's not for me!!). I wasn't expecting anything. I looked at the address and it was not for me. The address wasn't even similar. I have no idea why he was here. I told him where the street was. "Oh ok" he mumbles, and he leaves. The next day, the same driver comes back with the same parcel. I tell him again that it's not for here, and where the street is. He says "Can't you take it there?". I shit you not. A delivery man asked me to deliver a parcel for him. I said no and told him again where the street is. It's just down the road, right on the main road. He leaves again. About half an hour later, I go to take my recycling out. I open my garden gate. What is on the floor on the other side of the gate? The fucking parcel. I phone Amazon and told them that their shithead driver is shit. I ask them if the guy is going to come back and get the parcel. They say "No. you can just keep it". That was their solution. They don't even want to recover and redeliver it. I didn't keep it. I walked down the road and gave the woman her parcel, because I'm a great guy, much greater than Amazons customer service. Me > Amazon. The woman didn't seem very grateful though. I should have kept it. That crabby little shit.

Oh man. Being a full time FMer would be grand. You could watch the replays of full matches of upcoming opponents. Not just one game, but several, scout how they play, assess weaknesses, adjust your tactics to go at their weaknesses, shut down their most effective players. Smash them to pieces. Imagine having that time to invest in it. Instead, I only get a couple of hours a night to go at it, so it's just: Spacebar Spacebar Spacebar West Brom (a) Team Talk > Calm > You should be winning this match with no problem at all 1-3 W Spacebar Spacebar Fakename Regenovic wants to discuss personal matters with you Give us a game boss, yeah? Nah, you're not that good Wait 'til the press hears about this Move to > Reserves Spacebar Spacebar Best player injured 3 months out Crystal Palace (h) 0-1 L Repeat until I hate myself and turn it off.

Confession - After living off Paisley Road for three years I'm no longer a Rangers fan. You were all right, they're a bunch of total cunts. I'm moving back to Aberdeen shortly.

I e-mailed the council about something last week. Then yesterday, the person who responded to my e-mail (accidentally) included me in a non-work related e-mail she was sending to colleagues, possibly to another person with the same first name as me, and Outlook auto-completed it as it often does. Long story short, I ended up with an e-mail full of pictures of Fiona the Hippo

On a par with this:

Last night I arrived late at Krakatoa's BBC Fringe night. The Inevitable Teaspoons were already on stage and after a few minutes I was thinking they had a really good drummer. Then I noticed it was Chris who used to be in the Malpaso Gang. The band were very well rehearsed with none of that annoying tuning up between numbers. They unusually featured a trombone player and together with a sax it made for a big sound from this five piece band. Their set went down very well with a large and appreciative audience. The last band featured in this BBC showcase was The Malpaso Gang who were featuring their new femme singer, Eilidh Connolly for the first time. Eilidh showed no sign of nerves and confidently sang great as if she had been with them for years. Well done Eilldh. The whole band are very tight and Abermusic- member Flaneur played some great some great guitar solos. Their 'hot number' Tabasco has benefited from great national publicity over the last couple of months and last night was no exception with the audience joining in the Tabasco chorus. I expect much more success for the Gang. Flashes' enterprising Krakatoa venue has another BBC Fringe night this Friday 25th May. Best not to miss it.

I love how the natural measurement of cost of living to Scottish people is the cost of a pint. Never fails. "Went to Namibia on safari... saw lions and elephants... water buffalo quenching their thirst at an oasis as the sun caressed the horizon" "good aye?" "fucking magic... 50p a pint!!"

I had one of the most surreal moments of my life involving mumble rap. I'll keep it brief. Actually, it's not that interesting but whatever... Me and the missus bought a new car a few months ago. First day we got it we took a drive to the seaside, just for a rekkie. Went to a town called Long Beach on Long Island. About 40 minutes from NYC. Parked up and walked along the boardwalk. A few hundred yards up the boardwalk we see this huge crowd of people kinda all swaying together in sync. Talking like 200-300 people. We thought it was some demonstration or... dunno flash mob or something. As we get closer we see the nick of some of the people. Lots of face tattoos and day-glo clothing and vape clouds and they were all rapping the same song. Turns out we had walked straight into Lil Peep's funeral service. Stayed for a bit, saw a kid jump off the boardwalk and break his ankle, got ice cream, went home, googled Lil Peep.

I ordered pair of sandals for the missus off tinterweb, and instead of a pair of sandals worth £20 arriving I received a North Face jacket for £150.

Only acceptable when labeled as Top Tips

I always go to the same barber. Local, €12, in an out in half an hour. Minimal shitchat. Last year I decided to go to a trendy barber that opened nearby for a change of scenery. You get a free beer and they have PlayStations. There was someone in the chair when I arrived so I waited a while. I noted the guy was unusually chatty and it was taking a while, but nothing could have prepared me for what was coming. As soon as I sat in the chair he started with an absolute blizzard of bullshit. Like Jay Cartwright levels of bullshit. Here's a few of the tales he spun me. He was the brother of a famous Irish international footballer. He (the hairdresser, not his brother) used to play for Arsenal. He'd played alongside Vieira, Henry, Pires etc. He'd made 1 or 2 appearances in the first team, was loaned out to Aston Villa, but fell out with the manager there and never played a game. Had his career ended after a training ground tackle by an Arsenal teammate who had a grudge against him (I can't remember who but it was someone famous). Moved back to Ireland, starting playing for League of Ireland teams, was the all time highest scoring player in LOI history (he had only recently retired, he was a young guy, maybe about 30). Got 1 Ireland cap while playing in LOI, missed a free kick by inches. Had since become a qualified barber, owned this place (he didn't), had won Irish barber of the year so many times they wouldn't let him enter the competition any more. (I Googled all of this when I got home and it was all bullshit, every word). Claimed to be a very very rich man who owned a string of businesses but was wearing a tracksuit. I'm not saying he was definitely off his face on drugs, but he was slurring his words, his eyes were half closed and at one point he tripped over my foot and ended up sitting on my lap. Gave me comfortably the worst haircut I've ever had and spent so long talking (he couldn't cut hair and talk shit at the same time apparently) that the whole thing took an hour and half. Took 25 quid off me for the privilege. I went back to my usual place after that.

Give her the 5k to 'make it right' then start a campaign to pressure the recipient of the 5k to 'make it right' by returning the money to it's rightful owner. Turn the whole office into a quagmire of conflicting morality.

Yup, any one of the 70's Washburn bird series guitars should do the trick. Everyone knows pigeons hate the sound of a wailing guitar.

New thread title - Tennents nom nom nom

Facebook Racists - settle the fuck down guys. Just cos we sent a dear john to the EU doesn't mean we're back to the glory days of The Raj - stop being cunts and get back in your boxes.

'pro life' pricks protesting at the Maternity hospital.. get tae fuck! shame their mothers never aborted them

The above breakbeat thing became an EP/double A-side whatever, and the excellent Sun Hole Records has released it. Its a cool pay-what-you-want digital release label, but there's a ton of great stuff on there, if horrible electronica noise is your bag. https://sunholerecords.bandcamp.com/album/shr048-hospitals-manufacturing

Nina is renton's cousin who he tries to chat up if I am not mistaken. It has a central story line which has ended when Renton run away to Amsterdam. The book is amazing and made me to think a lot . I know there is also a movie but unfortunately they made it worser that I have expected. I used to write the essay which is connected with this book but my vocabulary list and correct grammar sentences are not pretty acceptable, so I just simply used the site https://www.essayskills.com/ where I bought the essay and get the good mark of my subject. I still have to improve myself to write quality essays without any help but at that moment it was inevitabity. Wish you good luck. Hope you would write it in a perfect way.

Hey man, thanks (I think!?) for all that - not quite sure if it was questions or statements, but I'll do my best to clear up as much as I can - and hopefully in a manner that is constructive to this thread rather than just banging on about myself. And yes, Dan G/Dan Weapon/Dan Atom are all one and the same...although I'm sure the even older residents of this board will more fondly remember me as Dan Loaded (my first band)! And Cloud I presume? And yes, I still reside in Aberdeen many years later. I'll give you the horse's mouth abridged history of the band throughout my reply if you were interested (or even if you weren't haha). Firstly, thanks man, and in hindsight I'm super glad we did those videos - a fantastic keepsake as much as anything! I'm also not hugely embarrassed by them, which is nice 10 years later. Also the Kokura video was shown on MTV2's headbanger's ball which although means nothing in the scheme of things was awesome for me and Ben on a personal level as we'd grown up with that show. I slightly disagree in that no one gives a fuck about music videos though...whilst that's true as far as TV channels, streaming on youtube (and spotify etc) is valuable these days. Anyone can knock up lyric videos, but I'd always far rather watch a professional performance/concept video. Streaming wasn't a consideration back in 2008 when we did our videos though - we just wanted to look as pro as we could, get our music out there in a different medium, and do what bands we respected were doing! Hahaha "Discourse and indecision", but yes it did sounds like 'Tescos' . Not sure which guitarist you were referring to, but assuming you meant Jamesy? He sort of left on mutual terms, but in fairness was more ‘persuaded to leave’ rather than decided to leave himself. Jamesy started the band and was absolutely the driving force behind MMW in the early days - he got us so many quality support slots, tours and was generally the fire behind it. I never had any intentions of ‘making it’ and all that – I just liked playing guitar and hanging around with mates – but Jamesy had real drive and point to prove. However he’d be the first to admit he wasn’t the most gifted/technical guitarist. He also wasn’t that into metal and his initial vision was more of an emo/screamo/punk band, but Nick and I were far more into progressive metal, which is what it eventually became musically. By 2005 Jamesy was far more interested with his work at Moshulu putting on gigs (he entirely stopped playing guitar in that Summer) and we realised we weren’t going to get any better if this continued, so parted ways. He often wound people up (both inside and outside the band!) but I believe his heart was always in the right place, and he had ambitions far beyond what anyone else in the Aberdeen music scene had. Or at least he tried harder to make them come to fruition. Ben leaving was an entirely different matter. It’s unfair to air it in full in public, but essentially he quit after having a minor disagreement with Nick that was completely unrelated to the band. They made up a couple of days later, but I think Ben was too proud to ask to rejoin, and we figured this was our opportunity to replace him with someone better. I remained good friends with him at the time, but like you say our biggest criticism was the vocals so we saw it as the opportunity to improve with our second album. At this stage Scott Bowden was playing bass, and we were the tightest we’d been...me, Nick and Scott had some real chemistry. I was writing some really tech prog-thrash at the time and believe we could have done a killer second album if we found the right singer. That was not to be however, as we couldn’t find (or didn’t try hard enough) to find a replacement, and I was taking way too long to write new material. If Ben had never quit, I reckon we’d have continued the band for another 5-10 years, though I doubt we’d have gone on to ‘achieve’ that much more than we did. Ah, good old Ben - AKA Ben Quik, Bladeola, Highroller, Wolf.biker and a few other guest accounts after his various bans. Ben was never the best singer/screamer in the world, but I think at the same time he got the most amount of abuse on accounts of his online antics. And to be fair he really was an arse on here – but goddamn it was hilarious. I’ve re-read so many of his 12-15 year old, uh, ‘discussions’ and every facet and flaw of his personality is laid bare on this site in some form. You don’t need a degree in psychology to see that he just needs to be loved; he’s got a very fragile ego, insecurity issues that rear their head as arrogance, he struggles with criticism and has a startling lack of self-awareness. The latter was especially transparent when he’d come on here using an anonymous account pretending not to be Ben and getting busted by everyone 2 posts in. He was a good friend though. He did so much for the band, and was a hard worker… he bought his own mic(s), drove the band everywhere, put in a shift loading gear, was great at helping out and getting on with other bands – and in reality/on tour/offstage he almost never displayed any of the prima donna bullshit that singers often do. Given his on-stage and online persona, I’m sure people who never met him imagined him to be an absolute twunt, but that wasn’t the case at all. My view on the whole Scorge/Jake arguments is this: I've never really been one to attack other people unless provoked or attacked myself. Ben used to wind up Scorge/Jake and vice versa, which would lead to those two slagging off MMW and therefore me - so I'd jump in and take the piss/argue back (although I only went for personal insults... I don't think I ever ripped on Spike Pile Driver as a band even once, as for one I always liked Hog). Essentially they constantly called the music I'd written fake, image-based rinky dink pop music, with no credibility or integrity etc. I took that pretty personally given anybody that knows me is aware that a) I've spent 1000s of hours of my life practicing the guitar/writing songs, and b) I never had any desire to achieve anything in music beyond having fun. It just so happened that the music I wrote for MMW ('Metalcore' if reduced to its simplest form) became popular, and as such we got lumped in with a trend. But I'd been writing In Flames and Killswitch style modern metal stuff in Loaded circa 2001-2002 before it became the fashionable thing, and many years later the music I write and listen to is much as it was during the height of metalcore's popularity. One of the reasons I'm still proud of our album is because ten years on I don't think the majority of it has dated badly... sure there are metalcore breakdowns, but there are also loads of proggy time signature/key/tempo changes, guitar solos, synths, pre-djent meshuggah style grooves etc. Not just drop-C open riffs with a floppy fringe bollocks. Regardless of whether it was good or shit, it was a real honest bunch of songs that featured all our influences chucked in a blender! John Browne you mean? I know him well-ish... we toured with Fell Silent (his pre-monuments band) circa 2008 as both bands were signed to Basick records and had just put out an album. He spent most of the tour in our van, and stayed at my folk's house with us rather than the rest of his band. Funny-ish story - we gave him a bit of a metal schooling by playing Dream Theater's 'Metropolis pt 2' and Pantera's 'Far Beyond Driven'. He'd never really heard DT, and in tour van chat he said he didn't think Pantera were good... naturally we told him how incorrect he was, and got him to rescind his comment playing him 5 minutes Alone, I'm Broken etc. I'm pretty sure these days you'd hear him say how Petrucci and Dimebag are legends/big influences haha. Incredible rhythm guitarist these days to be fair. If I said it like that, then I regret it if I was mocking him... I can't really remember it but I totally stand by it! In fact I bought my first 7-string a year or 2 back. It's currently got the normal 6 string tuned down 3 semitiones to C# standard, with the 7th string tuned to F# (so it's like a drop-D relationship between bottom 2 strings). That's as low as an 8 string, but without the hassle of an extra string and hardly sacrificing any high end. You could get far better value for money on 7s rather than 8s back then, so unless you were a total virtuoso I reckon 8 strings are highligh unnecessary. Can't remember that Meshuggah quote but I've always really liked the band - especially Destroy Erase Improve and Chaosphere (I was ripping off that album for my own band Loaded back in 1999! Albeit artistically rather than musically...). If I was making a point about them, I imagine it was more that their riffs aren't necessarily finger gymnastics but complex in other ways. If you are genuinely interested I can tell you more about exactly why we didn't go full time and why there were further line-up changes... I've already gone on for so long though so will only continue if requested to do so! I honestly don't think I was ever really one to run my mouth or be an arrogant twat about the band (happy to be disproven with evidence if anyone cares enough) apart from the aforementioned flamewars with various members of Spike Pile Driver and Ascension. Funnily enough that mostly all stopped once we did that charity show for Hog and certain people were found to only be able to talk the talk, but not walk the walk... but let's not go there And don't worry - wondering what might have been really doesn't torture me at all! I picked up a guitar purely to play my favourite bands riffs, and I joined bands to hang out with my friends. I never, ever set out to do anything more than that.... but even by achieving very little (by other people's standards) MMW achieved things on a personal level that I could never have dreamed of! We had a vid shown on MTV, played the SECC twice, supported numerous of my all time favourite bands, were signed to a great label and released an album that you could buy from any shop... to name just a few. But far more importantly, had an amazing time with good friends, plus making so many more good friends/memories.

Krakatoa and Drummonds/Tunnels have to all intents and purposes stopped being venues for anything that isn't a tribute act or battle of the bands. There are still promoters around - we put a show or two a month on, and we generally get enough people in to pay the bands and keep a float for the nights we run a lil bit short. My experience, the scene in Glasgow isn't any better than the scene up here, it's just bigger with more bastards in it. We're putting on gigs down there ourselves now to save dealing with said bastards. I'm too old to care about making it, so I'm quite happy that the big boys from London aren't cutting about Aberdeen. Would be nice to get a venue the size of Downstairs back on the go, we're kinda missing that more than 50 but smaller than Tunnels kinda room.

Anyone remember that dude Peter Dow?

sounds like Royal Mail did you a favour, ENter Shikari are gash.

Especially after a showing of a fuck-fest like Shrek! xx

AGFW looked up my band, saw this cover... ...and asked if it was me in the picture.

Like any good tradesman, you've arrived 9 years too late.

I take your point on accommodation/rider but I still think it pretty unlikely that any of the support acts are getting accommodation provision in their fee. They will have been offered a fee and then made the call themselves whether they can afford to take it on vs what it would cost to stay locally or travel home after the show. Of the support acts announced (that I can see) I have heard every one and seen Bdy_Prts, Indigo Velvet and Neon Waltz live. They are not all to my taste, but they are all doing something professional/polished, understand their live show, and (crucially for this festival) are active and relevant (recent recorded output, touring, radio airplay). [EDIT= I also know for a fact that many of the headline acts have been prescriptive in what kind of support acts will work for them - acoustic/solo acts so as not to disrupt stage set up etc etc., and some of the shows/performances won't require or suit having any support at all.] Yeah, sorry I wasn't clear, but I did mean that you have to be 'good enough' to suit the show/venue/requirements of any show. P.S. Finally a thread about music on aberdeen-music eh? Who'd have thought.

Aye, but don't say anything until after Christmas.

Your mum isn't a NUS card.

In the bin, with no bookmarks. xx

No, but I would hold a benefit gig to get someone removed from Pub Watch.

There hasn't been an flame thread on here in like 4 years then Alkaline resurfaces and cunts it all up.

True. It was a standard "this is all the characters" script, but still better than most. Especially as none of the characters dramatically changed after 6 episodes, like a lot of sitcoms. They jump right into the weirdness in Episode 2. The Jeff/Pierce montage in Spanish class is probably in my top 5 favourite bits from the whole show.

Fucking Tory. xx

Am I too late to answer the Amsterdam question? I was there a few months ago. Get a three day travel pass in central station. Covers trams and buses and the trams are awesome. Go to Anne Frank's house and the Van Gogh museum. Prebook tickets online and pay the extra euro for queue jump tickets. Turn up to anything on the day and you'll queue hours to get in. Have breakfast in the concert hall on Museumplein. Lovely breakfast in a really fancy cafe with piano concertos in the background. Watch out for bikes. Madam Tussauds is quite shit but Ripleys Believe It Or Not is good. I haven't touched a joint in over 10 years, ate some brownies one night before bed and then freaked out and had a horrible time. Don't do that.

Will they be brave enough to go after CM Punk tho?

HOLY SHIT