jon Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 This thread is absolute genius.As for the chuggers, I remember someone who used to work as one telling me that, after the wages and admin charges etc, you'd have a year and a half of giving a fiver "to charity" before you paid off the wankers and their bosses who collared you in the first place. Alternatively, you can give a fiver directly to the charity once and replicate a year and a half's worth of street charity mugging. This may be an urban myth, but I wouldn't be surprised at all.I'm normally a mild mannered fellow, but I have been known to shout at the clipboard fuckers on Princes Street when they try to be smart about my not wanting to indulge their middle class guilt conscience wank. Total bastards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davewarden Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 Man Flu.I'm dying over here.Think I am getting it,FUCK! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest idol_wild Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 Think I am getting it,FUCK!Given the context, that sentence has several different echelons...8-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RossP Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 Man Flu.I'm dying over here.Echinacea is awesome for fighting cold/flu. Best taken the very first moment you don't feel quite right I've never missed a day of work/play from illness thanks to that stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 I've got a few flu symptoms right now, but I'm hoping it's just a cold. The increasing inability to move my own head and neck are beginning to worry me though.I hate not being able to move my head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 I've got a few flu symptoms right now, but I'm hoping it's just a cold. The increasing inability to move my own head and neck are beginning to worry me though.I hate not being able to move my head.Just to put your mind at ease. The most common symptoms of meningitis are headache and neck stiffness Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 Oh good. Runny nose isn't on there, or I'd be cocked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 I bet 1 million you're Googling meningitis right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 I have to smile and be nice to the public while trying not to shit myself.Story of my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 I bet 1 million you're Googling meningitis right now.My work's internet restrictions are far too strict for google. Aberdeen-Music works for some reason. Thats about it...I had a Meningitis jab at school though. That better have worked! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 I hate how the phrase "I couldn't care less" seemed to have now become "I could care less". As in "he could care less what people think of him". I've heard it like 4 times this week. It doesn't make sense as it implies that you do actually care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Exposure @ Lemon Tree Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 I hate how the phrase "I couldn't care less" seemed to have now become "I could care less". As in "he could care less what people think of him". I've heard it like 4 times this week. It doesn't make sense as it implies that you do actually care.Is that not just laziness on the part of the person saying it? i.e. not finishing the word off? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 Is that not just laziness on the part of the person saying it? i.e. not finishing the word off?I think so. It's just annoying anyway.I used to work with a girl who used the phrase "bang out of order" a lot. Except she didn't quite understand the wording of it and used to say "that's so bang out of order". That annoyed me too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aekido Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 someone put a meningitis thing on my fridge the other day. Spooky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Exposure @ Lemon Tree Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 someone put a meningitis thing on my fridge the other day. SpookyProbably not that spooky. By the time you're finished being a student, you'll have been warned about meningitis about thirty thousand times. I don't actually know any students who have ever contracted meningitis. Perhaps all the scare-mongering works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ithaca Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 At the risk of sounding pious, I don't understand why oh why God's word is put into drawers at the side of the bed in every hotel we stay in. I think I can make the presumption that we all know that the bible is the most widely read book in the English-speaking world. It's easy to see why! The story of Adam and Eve (for those of you who haven't yet read it) is a rousing tale of love, lust, murder and betrayal. Noah and his misses built a big fuck off floating zoo while Moses constructed an invisable dam just by thinking about it and waving his hands in the airn (or something like that). Then there were kings, serpants, a shit load of wine, burning bushes, crucifixion, a few plauges here and there. It's all pretty good stuff!Apologies, back to pet hates. Why is the bible the book of choice for tired travelers and weary back-packers? Do couples checking in to a hotel for a dirty weekend really want to see a copy of the holy book staring at them romping from the sidelines? Could it be that hotels and religious organisations formed some sort of pact? Are hotels the place to go when we wish to repent our sins? I don't think so!If and when my soul needs saving (and it might), I doubt that one or two nights in a hotel room with clean sheets and a Gideon Bible is going to get me through the Pearly Gates. Take the wee book and replace it with something a little more useful (like extra tea bags, for example!). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frosty Jack Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 I stole a Gideons Bible from a hotel once, and it changed my life.I became a kleptomaniac. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 At the risk of sounding pious, I don't understand why oh why God's word is put into drawers at the side of the bed in every hotel we stay in. I think I can make the presumption that we all know that the bible is the most widely read book in the English-speaking world. It's easy to see why! The story of Adam and Eve (for those of you who haven't yet read it) is a rousing tale of love, lust, murder and betrayal. Noah and his misses built a big fuck off floating zoo while Moses constructed an invisable dam just by thinking about it and waving his hands in the airn (or something like that). Then there were kings, serpants, a shit load of wine, burning bushes, crucifixion, a few plauges here and there. It's all pretty good stuff!Apologies, back to pet hates. Why is the bible the book of choice for tired travelers and weary back-packers? Do couples checking in to a hotel for a dirty weekend really want to see a copy of the holy book staring at them romping from the sidelines? Could it be that hotels and religious organisations formed some sort of pact? Are hotels the place to go when we wish to repent our sins? I don't think so!If and when my soul needs saving (and it might), I doubt that one or two nights in a hotel room with clean sheets and a Gideon Bible is going to get me through the Pearly Gates. Take the wee book and replace it with something a little more useful (like extra tea bags, for example!).Bible pages are excellent in the absence of Rizzla's, if a little rough, so I won't complain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 At the risk of sounding pious, I don't understand why oh why God's word is put into drawers at the side of the bed in every hotel we stay in. I think I can make the presumption that we all know that the bible is the most widely read book in the English-speaking world. It's easy to see why! The story of Adam and Eve (for those of you who haven't yet read it) is a rousing tale of love, lust, murder and betrayal. Noah and his misses built a big fuck off floating zoo while Moses constructed an invisable dam just by thinking about it and waving his hands in the airn (or something like that). Then there were kings, serpants, a shit load of wine, burning bushes, crucifixion, a few plauges here and there. It's all pretty good stuff!Apologies, back to pet hates. Why is the bible the book of choice for tired travelers and weary back-packers? Do couples checking in to a hotel for a dirty weekend really want to see a copy of the holy book staring at them romping from the sidelines? Could it be that hotels and religious organisations formed some sort of pact? Are hotels the place to go when we wish to repent our sins? I don't think so!If and when my soul needs saving (and it might), I doubt that one or two nights in a hotel room with clean sheets and a Gideon Bible is going to get me through the Pearly Gates. Take the wee book and replace it with something a little more useful (like extra tea bags, for example!).I work at the Marriott and they have the Book of Mormon.The Marriotts are mormons and there HQ is in Salt Lake City.I hate religion with a passion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 I proper can't stand that identikit football chant. You know the one that ends in "by far the greatest team, the world has ever seen"? The amount of supporters that sing it now is just incredible, and even quite funny when certain teams try to fit their clubs name into the song.#And it's Daaaaagenhaaaam. Daaagenaham and Redbridge FC!....#Terrible. Really terrible. Why even bother? For that one verse, do you think you are the greatest team? Come on now. Be a little original, and at least be fairly amusing, like the lower league sides that sing Que Sera Sera, with the added line of "We're going to Wem-ber-ley" in a 1st round match of the FA Cup against a bunch of part timers who play on a school field. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 I proper can't stand that identikit football chant. You know the one that ends in "by far the greatest team, the world has ever seen"? The amount of supporters that sing it now is just incredible, and even quite funny when certain teams try to fit their clubs name into the song.#And it's Daaaaagenhaaaam. Daaagenaham and Redbridge FC!....#Terrible. Really terrible. Why even bother? For that one verse, do you think you are the greatest team? Come on now. Be a little original, and at least be fairly amusing, like the lower league sides that sing Que Sera Sera, with the added line of "We're going to Wem-ber-ley" in a 1st round match of the FA Cup against a bunch of part timers who play on a school field.It's not restricted to Wem-ber-ley. At various Scotland qualifying matches over the years I've heard:Que Sera Sera! Whatever will be will be!We're going to Portugal! We're going to Germany! We're going to Austria! The irony being that we didn't actually go to any of those places. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 The first and third don't even rhyme. What's a football song without rhymes?FA cup and Playoff football chants were completely lost for a few years when the original Wembley was torn down. Nothing rhymes with Millenium Stadium. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 The first and third don't even rhyme. What's a football song without rhymes?FA cup and Playoff football chants were completely lost for a few years when the original Wembley was torn down. Nothing rhymes with Millenium Stadium.London Palladium? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 Now fit the two into a song. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 Now fit the two into a song.To the tune of Aberdeen FCs European Song: We are the boys from the London Palladium!And we're going to Millenium Stadium!And we're gonna do it for you!Brucie Forsyth, Les Dawson tooAnd Jimmy Tarbuck, makes his debut!And we're gonna do it for you!We've got some all round entertainers,Oh yes we have oh yes we have,Freddie Starr, eating a hamsterAnd Tommy Cooper's fallen down!They can sing and they can playAnd Paul Daniels, wears a toupee!Here's Bobby DavroOn the variety showNo-one likes him anymore!Not strictly football related mind you, but you didn't stipulate that it had to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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