Alvin Starclusk

The Allman Brothers Band - Ellon High Water

Unfortunately, my very favourite piece of Vic & Bob wasn't on there... "I love the smell of Fidel Castro. Yes, but he'd be lost without his Flymo." Sooperb.

For troublesome bottles (not jars unfortunately), nothing beats nut crackers. Works a treat.

1. Cricket 2. People who talk about cricket 3. The causes of cricket I am indifferent to crickets.

Lukic's for Rangers in the Leeds-Rangers European Cup game back in the early nineties always sticks in the mind.

If you're looking for safe, anywhere near Elephant & Castle's probably a no-no. It's a shithole. Waterloo's not too far away (10/15 minutes walk), London Bridge is about 20 minutes walk away, only one tube station away from either, so see if there's anything around there. There is also a hostel just off Walworth Road (Amelia Street, I think), which is about 2 minutes from E & C, so if you're feeling adventurous...There's a police station right next door anyway

I once shared a flat with a mental woman. In a fit of rage (almost certainly brought on by myself/the other flatmates) she smashed her shower door with a large fresh fish. This is actually true.

Sentences start with capital letters.

Aye - roughly about the time Robbie Neilson stepped up to take a penalty! When he scored, I knew we'd win. Gretna were pretty damn good, pressed us all over the park and gave us no time on the ball. I think we'll see them in the SPL the season after next if they can play lke that regularly. Was great at the end when Rowan Alexander came over to applaud the Hearts fans, and when Gretna did their full lap of honour. Never been to a football match with a friendlier atmosphere. Even the weegies in the pub afterwards were good for banter.

..apart from the woeful defence.

Amazing, destroyed by the press when he goes down too easily, has to "dry his eyes" when he stays on his feet. If it wasn't a penalty when Main took him out (and it was - anywhere else on the pitch, that's obstruction), it was a penalty when he got taken out seconds later. It was a truly shite game, but at the end of the day I saw my team lift a trophy in the flesh for the first time, went to a cup parade this afternoon, and regardless of the final itself, saw my team get what they deserved for what has been a great season. 'mon the JTs!

Amazing, this threads been going for a wee while and not one Swedish porn joke yet.

Yep. Seems it was only on in Englandshire. It was possibly the best episode yet (although for the actual car-ness, the one with the Bugatti Veyron was just incredible). I couldn't stop laughing when the monkeys were on the Espace's roof.

Bob Malcolm, Alan Hutton, Ian Murray, Chris Burke, Gavin Rae, Alex Rae, Barry Ferguson, Ross McCormack, Kris Boyd, Steven Smith... Oh hang on, I'm not *actually* Walter Smith.

What? Like a slinky black bag, over her gargantuan gobbed face?

Damn it! Missed it too, but fear not... http://www.bbc.co.uk/cgi-perl/whatson/search/advance_search.cgi?keyword=top+gear

It's not really very violent at all. Great film. Also, the mix of "Sound of Da Police" is SOOOPERB. Others I'd recommend: Downfall, Goodbye Lenin, M (going back a mere 75 years...), The Edukators. All German.

Apparently our travelling support are planning on taking newspapers and sitting reading them during the game. Would be very funny. Also, expect many choruses of "You're Simply Third Best".