Soda Jerk Posted December 19, 2010 Report Share Posted December 19, 2010 I read Facebook because people often post funny things, and funny is good. I'm nowhere near cool enough to hate it. It's okay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted December 19, 2010 Report Share Posted December 19, 2010 I love Facebook. It's people I hate. Well a lot of people. One lass went on about her shower getting installed for three whole weeks. Always followed by what she was gonna have for tea. Stuff like 'Me and the hubby are waiting for the delivery of our new shower, Might hae steak for dinner... fit rare.' .... 'Hubby's groutin whilst i'm makin i supper. Tuna bake inite!!'Then I found the 'hide' option which means you're still friends but you don't see their rubbish. I only get about 20-30 people in my feed. People I care about and/or find funny. I don't want to be a scrooge friend deleter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 I've had one bint who kept speaking about her unborn baby. She got deleted because I hate babies. She also tells lies about how cool and 'punk' she was at High School, forgetting I went to the same school as her, and I know she was a total chav, and probably still is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 I've had one bint who kept speaking about her unborn baby. She got deleted because I hate babies. She also tells lies about how cool and 'punk' she was at High School, forgetting I went to the same school as her, and I know she was a total chav, and probably still is.Just comment on all her statuses, referring to her as a "Chunk". Never once, not once, explain that "chunk" is a cross of "chav" and "punk". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Stu Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 Just comment on all her statuses, referring to her as a "Chunk". Never once, not once, explain that "chunk" is a cross of "chav" and "punk".it's fine she'll probably just assume he's calling her out as a fat arse, which no matter how thin she is she, like all women, she'll think it to be true. This will finally tip her over the edge of depression into a downward spiral of alcohol, drugs, and momentarily assuring sexual encounters eventually resulting in her suicide (after numerous cries for help), leaving her motherless child to grow up in care, sodomised by pedophiles and eventually working the streets as a crack addicted prostitute.Facebook lol. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britheguy Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 ....and while I'm on my high horse....Following Killie's well-earned win against Hibs yesterday, I was trawling the football message boards to see what folks are commenting on these days and as always, I ended up grinding my teeth at the spelling, grammar and general misuse of words.Here are the popular ones that boil my piss...."would of" for "would have"They're, There & Their - almost ALWAYS used in the wrong context"loose" for "lose"and my all-time fave..."I was wandering what you thought of the game" - it's WONDERING you weeping Jap's Eye!Fucks sake you thick cunts, were you THAT jellied in class whilst Teacher was teaching?"Never been to Ayrshire, hitched down one Saturday, 50 miles to Kilmarnick to see Hibernian play" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest idol_wild Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 I've been making some Facebook culls over the past few months, and I've been getting some shit from people I have deleted from my friend list. Usually, I have deleted them because I never ever interact with them or see them, or in some cases, never even met them. So they go. But I've also been deleting people who just consistently post nonsense - these are the people who offer the most shit when they discover the befriending.Fuck the "hide" function. Take no prisoners. Delete the fuckers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RF Scott Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 I've been making some Facebook culls over the past few months, and I've been getting some shit from people I have deleted from my friend list. Usually, I have deleted them because I never ever interact with them or see them, or in some cases, never even met them. So they go. But I've also been deleting people who just consistently post nonsense - these are the people who offer the most shit when they discover the befriending.Fuck the "hide" function. Take no prisoners. Delete the fuckers.People actually get in touch if you delete them from Facebook?! That's hilarious/depressing. What sort of reasoning do they offer? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 What sort of reasoning do they offer?I think they just resent the drop in numbers on their 'friend' collectionxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diesel Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 I've gone completely cold turkey with Facebook. I just got tired of folks living and posting their entire existence on it. I really don't need a teleprinter/tickertape accounts of the mental and physical states of folks I'm barely acquainted with.Do not miss Facebook one iota and I'm now compelled to call my friends and family and actually TALK to them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 I've gone completely cold turkey with Facebook. I just got tired of folks living and posting their entire existence on it. I really don't need a teleprinter/tickertape accounts of the mental and physical states of folks I'm barely acquainted with.Do not miss Facebook one iota and I'm now compelled to call my friends and family and actually TALK to them!I bet you call them on a landline too! I bet you're one of those old fashioned wierdos who actually dials a phone number to contact someone, rather than typing their name or using voice calling??God, you're so 2003!xx[/hilarious] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain America Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 Speaking of the Facebook status thing, earlier on I had the misfortune of reading my next door neighbour's status that said, "Can a fiesta be fun? ;-)" followed by a cringe-worthy exchange between him and his girlfriend, heavily implying that they had sex in his car. I have a very long list of Facebook status-related Pet Hates. Why am I still in contact with these horrendous dicks?Can't believe I missed three pages of this thread found this gold and no one made a "that's what she said joke"??What the fuck guys. Really. What the fuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 What the fuck guys. Really. What the fuck.I think you'll find that's what she said!xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RF Scott Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 I think they just resent the drop in numbers on their 'friend' collectionxxI honestly can't think of a time where I've been able to remember the number of contacts I have on Facebook to the point where I'd notice if someone had 'deleted' me! Ah well, I guess I can see why some people with self-esteem issues might get paranoid about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarmaTsunami Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 Getting asked if I hate Christmas because the 'wacky Christmas hat' my manager chose for me is black and says 'Bah Hum Bug' on it. I fucking love Christmas*, I don't know where everyone gets the impression that I'm some sort of miserable anti-fun person. It's like my school's leaving do where I was voted 'Mosher Girl' of Portlethen Academy then turned up looking all glam. Nonces. * Another pet hate is that Christmas is five days away still. That's five days of poking around the presents under the tree trying to figure out what they could be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid Android Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 I just got this on my facebook news feed from the Independent."Watch terrifying footage of a driver ploughinto into young children at a primary school in Taiwan before allegedly detonating a petrol bomb."o_OWhy the fuck would I want to watch that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest idol_wild Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 People actually get in touch if you delete them from Facebook?! That's hilarious/depressing. What sort of reasoning do they offer?Yes. And this specific person is also someone you know very well.They told me that I "sucked" after having deleted them. I hadn't interacted with this person via Facebook or in reality in approximately two years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 Students. All students with not a single exception, because of the student party that went on in the floor above me until 6:30am this morning. So all students are now cockpockets. It sounded like they were playing some sort of dance-mat game, due to a constant torrent of stamping. But the dance-mat must have been made of pins because all I could hear above the stamping was constant high pitched screaming. I didn't go knock on the door, because I didn't want to deal with drunken/monged idiots, but I did call the police 3 times, who never showed. Thanks guys. They should be sober now, so I'm going to go bang on their door at lunchtime and tell them unpolitely to wise the fuck up or fuck the fuck off. I literally didn't sleep for a single second last night, so I'm certainly feeling mardy enough to give them a mouthful. It could get wild. I might even threaten them, and spit when I talk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diesel Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 I bet you call them on a landline too! I bet you're one of those old fashioned wierdos who actually dials a phone number to contact someone, rather than typing their name or using voice calling??God, you're so 2003!xx[/hilarious]Yep, that's me...Retro Man!I'm stopping the phone calls writing letters instead...on parchment, with a quill and a wax seal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 Yep, that's me...Retro Man!I'm stopping the phone calls writing letters instead...on parchment, with a quill and a wax seal ...and sending them by carrier pigeon?xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 Students. All students with not a single exception, because of the student party that went on in the floor above me until 6:30am this morning. So all students are now cockpockets. It sounded like they were playing some sort of dance-mat game, due to a constant torrent of stamping. But the dance-mat must have been made of pins because all I could hear above the stamping was constant high pitched screaming. I didn't go knock on the door, because I didn't want to deal with drunken/monged idiots, but I did call the police 3 times, who never showed. Thanks guys. They should be sober now, so I'm going to go bang on their door at lunchtime and tell them unpolitely to wise the fuck up or fuck the fuck off. I literally didn't sleep for a single second last night, so I'm certainly feeling mardy enough to give them a mouthful. It could get wild. I might even threaten them, and spit when I talk.You should have your own party now while they're sleeping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 Definitely. In their flat too. I'd hope it would resemble Adam and Joe's piss up in a brewery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkaline Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 Definitely. In their flat too. I'd hope it would resemble Adam and Joe's piss up in a brewery.Extension cord, amplifier (bass on full), down-tuned guitar and constant doom chords outside their front-door= lesson learned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 I stayed above these noisy student whores last year who used to keep me awake every Wednesday night with loud music and their annoying fucking mates turning up for after-club parties at 3am and pressing every buzzer in the building (either to be annoying or because they didn't know which one it was so they just pressed them all - either way, it was annoying). What I started doing was when I left for work at 8am on the Thursday morning I'd take a roll of insulating tape down with me and tape down the button on their buzzer on my way out of the building. There's no way to silence it from inside so they had to get up, go down all the stairs and go outside to remove the tape. I'd sit and my car and watch them coming stumbling out the door in their pyjamas, bleary eyed trying to figure out what was going on. Petty, but it felt good.The noisy cunts across the hall used to get early morning trumpet practice if they'd kept me awake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Cynic Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 ...and sending them by carrier pigeon?xxI'm all for that...my great-grandad was a pigeon-fancier (not an arrestable offence in those days).I was amused by those TV ads for recording freeview-plus boxes..the great hook being they record while you're out, and you can watch one channel whilst recording another....my old video recorder does all that already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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