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Benji

Hospital visits?

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Who's been to the hosptial for stuff?

Here's my PB:

4 broken ankles.

1 broken wrist.

+ been heaps as a visitor!

Beat 'at!

I forgot to add the whole Birth thing..

And once in A+E the vending machine was broke and I scooped heaps of Apple tango's and sold em on for half price.. was a good day.

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um heres mine:

2 or 3 broken fingers

a buggered wrist or 2

fucked up shoulers (fat people + basketball = lots of pain for me)

buggered up rips

tons of throat and mouth troubles evenyually resulting in my tonsils being nicked :p heh

+ dozens of visits too.

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Ok, here we go...

Adenoids

Tonsils

Gashed Leg (stabbed)

Damage to left eyeball (had to have it partially removed for surgery. worst. thing. ever.)

Fractured Skull (motorbike accident)

Broken left ankle x 3 (fell down stairs pished, twice football)

Broken right ankle x 2 (both football)

Broken ribs x 8 (football)

Punctured lung (see above)

Smashed foot (motorbike)

Concussion x 3 (boxing - and I won! motorbike, football)

Dehydration x 2 (collapsed during match)

...to name but a few.

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Broken fingers x10 Yep, broke all of them at the age of 4.

Broken pinky from playing darts!

Cut open my other pinky when I stacked shelves in the Coop, 3 stitches.

Allergic reactions x2, once from Penicillin, once from a Tesco pizza.

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Guest MDP

broken ankle x6 (it's now held together by metal)

dislocated shoulder x5

broken leg x2

broken wrist

broken arm

fractured rib

4 hip operations (as a kid, had a problem, duno what, i was 6)

broken finger

huge ass chunk of skin and flesh ripped form my elbow (still got a knarly[but small compared to the skin loss] scar)

8 stitches on leg

4 stitched on arm

3 stitches on nape

and a full body scan thing 3 times, because cancer is common in my whole family.

i'm rather accident prone.

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Allergic reactions x2, once from Penicillin, once from a Tesco pizza.

Hey, that's interesting! I'm also allergic to penicillin (which is ironic as I was born about three feet from Sir Alexander Flemings birthplace!) and certain pizzas bring me out in a rash (think it's the yeast).

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Hey, that's interesting! I'm also allergic to penicillin (which is ironic as I was born about three feet from Sir Alexander Flemings birthplace!) and certain pizzas bring me out in a rash (think it's the yeast).

Thats just wrong!

The dude that invented your allergy was within nutting distance, ok, around 200 years the differance but still.. Weird.

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Guest bluesxman

Visited a mate who broke his leg in a car accident.

Visited another mate when he had an operation.

Visited my girlfriend's Mum when she had an operation.

Visited my girlfriend's friend after she had a baby.

Took my girlfriend in for scans.

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Acute infected pancreatitis, major surgery - Given a week to live on admission, ended-up outliving the surgeon. A video of the operation is still used in medical teaching today.

Broken leg (Drunken wall jumping)

Broken arm (motorbike)

Concussion, twice (fight & standing under a lifting door in a gale)

Broken wrist (Motorbike)

Bullet wound, minor thankfully.

Acid in an eye - Motorbike - Some ned cunt in a car drew alongside me & squirted it - Good shot! Police showed no interest till I insisted on making a complaint. However, once they checked his numberplate, the attitude changed as he turned-out to be involved in other things - Armed robbery mainly. He went down for quite a few years. :)

Salmonella (in Ireland, bizzarre!)

E-Coli (nasty, as well as mega-shits, kindey probs & dehydration, one bollock also swelled-up to the size of a grapefruit. OW!)

Peri-anal Abcess (Which burst, copioulsy when a junior doc was kneeling with her head between my legs, examining it. Eww!)

Psoass Abcess - Side condition of TB, which I contracted from a child prostitute I worked with - I was the lucky one, her sister developed TB-Meningitis & died. Luckilly I didn't develop full-on TB. Again, this was the first Psoass abcess they had seen here for 30-odd years so that op was filmed for teaching too. Spent the next 6 months learning to walk again & left with a long-term & very painfull nerve condition.

Plus a few more minor things.

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Acute infected pancreatitis, major surgery - Given a week to live on admission, ended-up outliving the surgeon. A video of the operation is still used in medical teaching today.

Broken leg (Drunken wall jumping)

Broken arm (motorbike)

Concussion, twice (fight & standing under a lifting door in a gale)

Broken wrist (Motorbike)

Bullet wound.

Acid in an eye - Motorbike - Some ned cunt in a car drew alongside me & squirted it - Good shot! Police showed no interest till I insisted on making a complaint. However, once they checked his numberplate, the attitude changed as he turned-out to be involved in other things - Robbing post offices mainly. He went down for quite a few years. :)

Salmonella (in Ireland, bizzarre!)

E-Coli (nasty, as well as mega-shits, kindey probs & dehydration, one bollock also swelled-up to the size of a grapefruit. OW!)

Peri-anal Abcess (Which burst, copioulsy when a junior doc was kneeling with her head between my legs, examining it. Eww!)

Psoass Abcess - Side condition of TB, which I contracted from a child prostitute I worked with - I was the lucky one, her sister developed TB-Meningitis & died. Luckilly I didn't develop full-on TB. Again, this was the first Psoass abcess they had seen here for 30-odd years so that op was filmed for teaching too. Spent the next 6 months learning to walk again & left with a long-term & very painfull nerve condition.

Plus a few more minor things.

You're about as lucky as me!

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God, you lot are a strain on the already struggling NHS.

Instead of going to A & E, get yer sewing kit out and stitch yourself up Rambo-style.

(And 2 lollypop sticks for fixing broken fingers.)

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In stark contrast to all previous posts I've been damn lucky.

Three x-rays for badly sprained ankles as a kid.

One overnight stay for a poisoned foot and several dermatological tests which resulted in me missing out on a school trip to Switzerland.:swearing:

Having an abcess lanced under GA becase it was so close to my carotid artery.

Another overnight stay for a suspected heart-attack at the age of 21.

Rushed to hospital in New York suffering severe heat-stroke (thank fuck for travel insurance!). The upshot was that a barmaid from the hotel came to visit me and gave me a spectacular blowjob.:]

One particular episode stands out with my father. He'd just recovered from majory kidney surgery and was walking round the ward getting his strength back. All of a sudden a few of his stitches began to unravel, the tube to his colostomy bag, if you could call it that, disconnected and the colostomy bag burst. The smell of unfiltered piss and kidney discharge is not pleasant.:puke:

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Having an abcess lanced under GA becase it was so close to my carotid artery.

That was my pseudonym in a punk band I was in back in Ayrshire - Lance Boyle

Another overnight stay for a suspected heart-attack at the age of 21.

What was the prognosis?

I spent three nights in the cardiac unit in ARI after collapsing with chest pains during a match. Turned out to be a case of chronic dispepsia and I spent three days cutting farts like sonic booms. The quack at A&E had, apparently, wired me up incorrectly to the ECG, so they thought there was something up with my ticker coz of the irregular patterns.

Quality.

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Another overnight stay for a suspected heart-attack at the age of 21.:
What was the prognosis?

I spent three nights in the cardiac unit in ARI after collapsing with chest pains during a match. Turned out to be a case of chronic dispepsia and I spent three days cutting farts like sonic booms. The quack at A&E had, apparently, wired me up incorrectly to the ECG, so they thought there was something up with my ticker coz of the irregular patterns.

Quality.

It was a combination double whammy of trapped wind and severe indigestion, and a viral infection.

Lovely.

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Only been in for myself a few times.

Dislocated shoulder x 1

To be treated for hypothermia

Broken finger x 1

Suffering from a severe chest infection and an allergic reaction to the cough medicine I was given.

But I've been in far too many times to see folk and my mum works in the hospital.

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Once to A&E when I cut my finger on a glass that shattered in my hand, no stitches required and I was made to return to work and spend my remaining 3 hours on the tills serving. Got lots of sympathy from the little old ladies of Peterhead though.

I can remember visiting folks three times and I guess it's been more.

Compared to all of the other posters on here it must seem like my life is spent bundled up in a big cotton wool outfit.

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Guest Craig C

Never been to hospital other than visiting various people over the years.

Never broken a bone, never had any crazy disease, tumour - nothing.

I bet it all hits me at once :down:

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