Ever been barred from a pub or club?

[threeornothing]

I was thrown out of poundstretchers years ago cos my mate I was with stole one of those big 10p fizzy cola bottles...thats about as hardcore as I get. The rest of you should be ashamed.

[Biz]

none as far as I know

Surprising as hell considering I am a heckler and cheeky fucker, but quite the reverse of being banned, I have been locked into and actually kidnapped from home and dragged to dens of ill repute, I deserved to be ejected from Dr Drakes for saying amongst other things - mid gig " HEY BONTEMPI BOY GET SOME LESSONS", to one of The BRUTES, and then further infuriated him into such a state that 3 of his friends had to hold him back whilst I goaded him on with the line - " I have a black belt in cooking - kill ya with one chop", I bought him a pint as way of apology the next day - even though I didn't recognise him and could barely recall the events, ahh good old Aberdeen Music - I 'm sure someone will recall me almost getting lifted for some other bizarre incident or maybe even provide photographic evidence of some lurid act - ask The Needles or edgar prais - I've been on tour with them and I can barely remember a weeks worth of travelling , he he he, I bet we had a great time .

[Marillionboy]

I guess I'm not as rock and Roll as I'd like to think! I've been asked to leave plenty places but only ever because of falling asleep. Bouncers are usually quite gentle in these situations as they realise a half dead me isn't suddenly going to turn violent and even if I did it definately wouldn't hurt!

Thing is most bouncers are just bullies and couldn't fight sleep in reality, but a half dead drunken person I tend to find they enjoy giving a kicking.

A mate of mine was having a drink in the place on Windmill Brae that used to be Bar FM after a very bad day when a bouncer, clearly bored, started to question why he was alone, then tried to generate an argument out of his response, suggesting he was dealing. He threw my mate out physically and he landed on the pavement and cut his head.

Next day at work his mate Keith saw the wound, got the details out of him so they went back that night, he pointed the bouncer out and Keith went up and asked him about it. Keith got no sense out of him so he punched him in the gut. The guy went down surprisingly quickly, which suggests to me alot of these people don't have much backbone when dealing with sober people and just want to make up for having small cocks by acting hard around drunk ones. I don't think I've ever seen a bouncer eject anyone other than people on their own who are smaller than them come to that. Final bouncer gripe; years ago in Zuu two guys told us in the queue for the cloakroom that we were gonna be chibbed when we got outside and showed us the knife too. I told the bouncer and he said "like I give a fuck."

[Shaki]

Thing is most bouncers are just bullies and couldn't fight sleep in reality, but a half dead drunken person I tend to find they enjoy giving a kicking.

A mate of mine was having a drink in the place on Windmill Brae that used to be Bar FM after a very bad day when a bouncer, clearly bored, started to question why he was alone, then tried to generate an argument out of his response, suggesting he was dealing. He threw my mate out physically and he landed on the pavement and cut his head.

Next day at work his mate Keith saw the wound, got the details out of him so they went back that night, he pointed the bouncer out and Keith went up and asked him about it. Keith got no sense out of him so he punched him in the gut. The guy went down surprisingly quickly, which suggests to me alot of these people don't have much backbone when dealing with sober people and just want to make up for having small cocks by acting hard around drunk ones. I don't think I've ever seen a bouncer eject anyone other than people on their own who are smaller than them come to that. Final bouncer gripe; years ago in Zuu two guys told us in the queue for the cloakroom that we were gonna be chibbed when we got outside and showed us the knife too. I told the bouncer and he said "like I give a fuck."

There's no doubt that some bouncers abuse their position and are essentailly bullies but I think that's a bit of an unfair generalisation. Maybe that's just your experience with them and your bad luck?! I'm good mates with a bouncer (aye, dinna mess wi Shaki!) and him and most of his mates I've met have been pretty cool guys. I find most bouncers around Aberdeen to be either friendly or apathetic towards me. I'm sure the job must wear them down a little, having constantly to deal with arseholes but I've never had many issues with them other than being told to stop talking so much shite, finish my smoke and get back inside! I've seen plenty situations where bouncers have really had to do their job when a fight breaks out or someone wants to fight them so I don't agree with your point that they only eject small, helpless people. Again, this may just be your bad experiences talking.

There's nothing worse than a bouncer that can't do his job and is either afraid to step in or just doesn't care enough to do so like that case where you were threatened with a knife. There was a nightclub bouncer I used to work with who would do all he could to be at the other side of the place when a fight broke out.

[Marillionboy]

There's no doubt that some bouncers abuse their position and are essentailly bullies but I think that's a bit of an unfair generalisation. Maybe that's just your experience with them and your bad luck?! I'm good mates with a bouncer (aye, dinna mess wi Shaki!) and him and most of his mates I've met have been pretty cool guys. I find most bouncers around Aberdeen to be either friendly or apathetic towards me. I'm sure the job must wear them down a little, having constantly to deal with arseholes but I've never had many issues with them other than being told to stop talking so much shite, finish my smoke and get back inside! I've seen plenty situations where bouncers have really had to do their job when a fight breaks out or someone wants to fight them so I don't agree with your point that they only eject small, helpless people. Again, this may just be your bad experiences talking.

There's nothing worse than a bouncer that can't do his job and is either afraid to step in or just doesn't care enough to do so like that case where you were threatened with a knife. There was a nightclub bouncer I used to work with who would do all he could to be at the other side of the place when a fight broke out.

Yes fair point, I should have preceeded that with "in my experience". I do wonder what prompts someone to do a job like that, I can't honestly feel sympathy with them that the job wears them down when no-one forces them to do such a job.

Good ones are essential to the smoth running of the place, but I think the nature of the job means it attracts alot of arseholes too, rather like the army.

[GraemeC]

Thing is most bouncers are just bullies and couldn't fight sleep in reality, but a half dead drunken person I tend to find they enjoy giving a kicking.

A mate of mine was having a drink in the place on Windmill Brae that used to be Bar FM after a very bad day when a bouncer, clearly bored, started to question why he was alone, then tried to generate an argument out of his response, suggesting he was dealing. He threw my mate out physically and he landed on the pavement and cut his head.

Next day at work his mate Keith saw the wound, got the details out of him so they went back that night, he pointed the bouncer out and Keith went up and asked him about it. Keith got no sense out of him so he punched him in the gut. The guy went down surprisingly quickly, which suggests to me alot of these people don't have much backbone when dealing with sober people and just want to make up for having small cocks by acting hard around drunk ones. I don't think I've ever seen a bouncer eject anyone other than people on their own who are smaller than them come to that. Final bouncer gripe; years ago in Zuu two guys told us in the queue for the cloakroom that we were gonna be chibbed when we got outside and showed us the knife too. I told the bouncer and he said "like I give a fuck."

What a crock of shit....a minute percentage of bouncers are bullies and thugs giving the vast majority a bad name, I myself was a bouncer for 10+ years and in my case and the dozens of door crew and stewards who have worked for me over the years the ideal situation is when we can eject someone who is either causing or in our opinion looks like causing trouble with the minimum ammount of violence, being a doorman isnt or shouldnt be a display of bravery, I would never deal with any trouble maker, small or large, single handed. I have never, and none of the door staff I have ever known have given a "half dead drunken person" a good kicking, I can in fact count on the fingers of one hand the number of times when I have had to hurt someone in the course of my work, and trust me, they truly deserved it.

[HateEvent]

Kicked out of Priory for falling asleep.

Kicked out of Palm Court Hotel for puking on the dancefloor

Banned from Burger King for going into the play area when it was closed. The fact I was a bit old for it too didn't help.

[Afro Droid]

Barred forever from Yates because Robb Lucifer through a pint (beer and glass) at someone.

Barred briefly from the old Drakes for fighting with the bass player from Yield.

Turfed out of the Priory for proclaiming the place a shithole and extreme drunkeness.

Ejected from the Palace more times than I can remember for a variety of drink related antics.

Ejected from Booth's (now the Wynd) for trying to steal a painting that was screwed to the wall.

Thrown out of the old Aberdeen Uni Union numerous times for general drunkeness.

Like most, been chucked out of Exodus loads. The bouncers there are shite, they love to boot people out who (maybe fairly sometimes) have had a bit too much to drink; but they're utterly fucking useless when it comes to spotting and averting real trouble.

[Guest Jake Wifebeater]

Ejected from Booth's (now the Wynd) for trying to steal a painting that was screwed to the wall.

That reminds me, me and a mate were barred from the Ambassador years ago for trying to steal the "Wrestlefest" arcade machine. We'd unplugged it and dragged it towards the door before we were spotted. We hadn't thought of how we were going to get it onto the bus, but that's the sauce for you.

[sludge]

Been kicked out the lemon tree on countless occasions for such reasons as being to rowdy,raunchy and flicking ciggerettes at bouncers.Its all a load of shite really.

Moshulu a couple of times.The moorings im sure.Errmm....exodus.Was being a drunken knob.Im a bit "In your face" after a few.Nothing to be proud of...

[timson]

my m8 got banned for a month fae priory n once the month was up the pricks still decided to not let him in, we havent been back since, he was bannes for flippin a beer tap and walkin away allowing beer to flow and then coming in the fire exit after being thrown out

[Scootray]

No I have not. The end.

[Marillionboy]

What a crock of shit....a minute percentage of bouncers are bullies and thugs giving the vast majority a bad name, I myself was a bouncer for 10+ years and in my case and the dozens of door crew and stewards who have worked for me over the years the ideal situation is when we can eject someone who is either causing or in our opinion looks like causing trouble with the minimum ammount of violence, being a doorman isnt or shouldnt be a display of bravery, I would never deal with any trouble maker, small or large, single handed. I have never, and none of the door staff I have ever known have given a "half dead drunken person" a good kicking, I can in fact count on the fingers of one hand the number of times when I have had to hurt someone in the course of my work, and trust me, they truly deserved it.

Not a crock of shit, they were both true stories. As I said, I should have qualified this froem "in my experience" and I'm sorry if it caused offence.

Incidentally, everyone who's said they've been barred from Aberdeen uni Union for drunkenenss: when they had the cheek to promote 99p a pint offers and naming events "Get Seshed" etc isn't that kind of hypocritical!

[HAREMSCARY]

three times from The Palace usually for being way to drunk consuming about 10 or 15 pints, twice for getting into a fight, usually a drunken asshole after 10 or 12 pints. i feel bad in the morning tho, very bad.

Once from the Tilted Wig for hitting someone with my drink in my hand, i feel pretty bad after than night. new years eve, had 13 maybe pints 10 nips way to drunk.

Once from Moshulu for being cheeky to one of the bouncers.

Once from the Moorings from Flash for hitting his cousin 7 years ago outside the Palace. i was a drunken assholio again (was cheeky). sorry about that.

[pogofish]

Pub in Greenhead in Northumbria for turning-up at a Goldwing owners rally, on a Ducati!

Pub in Sladiburn in Lancashire for being covered head-toe in shit after a slurry-truck with a faulty valve had dropped its load on the road in front of me.

The Marcliffe for getting a blowjob off one of the staff.

The Moorings - Some random drunk guy came & sat beside us, bit later he stood-up, teetered & fell face first on the table, launching a pile of glasses on to the folk at the next table. Later lifted when they accepted we had nowt to do with the guy.

Ritzy - Later the Palace:

1: Two bouncers falsely accused my pal of letting people in the fire-door & lamped him. When the rest arrived & found their colleagues flat on the floor, they politely asked us to leave & never come back.

2: It is the Palace now & a few of the old crowd were together out for a rare night-out. This woman had a bit of history with one of us & got her new bunch of young suitors to come over & give my mate the evils. Which was fine till one of them lobbed a glass. Again, the bouncers came steaming-over, saw the company & became most polite & almost apologetic about asking us to leave.

Pub on Queens road. Dutch Mill? Barman had seriously pissed-off a mate so we went there with the sole intention of getting him sacked. It worked, we were all kicked-out at the same time. The lot of us singing a spirited version of Great Balls of Fire was the breaking point.

O'neills, for pointing-out a blatent abuse of the planning/licencing laws

Uni Union for pointing-out to the pompus wanker who had just threatened me that for several reasons, they had completely voided their licence. Shortly after, they got in deep shit for it.

Exodus - Dunno why. A guy who looked like a junkie had just tried to pick a fight & I'd walked away.

Revolution: Smart lassie sat down beside me & starts gabbling. Turned-out she was having an antidepressants & booze moment. When she started projectile vomiting, the bouncer thought I had something to do with her & kicked us both out. Carrying her up the stairs was a messy experience. Spent the rest of the evening making small-talk with her aunt whilst holding a basin under the poor girl's head.

Denmark!

Various pubs for not buying an alcoholic drink &/or being one of those nasty biker type guys. Moi?

Every pub/club, taxi-firm & buisness owned or connected to a reasonably well-known local settled-traveller family. After a year or so working my arse-off for them, in various capacities (mainly IT/disfunctional family-liason ), the patriarch decided that my job was ideal for one of his unemployable daughters, who could be counted-on to turn-out for any party anywhere but never lasted more than 10 days in any real job. I was working my notice OK till the guy & his daughter drove-up & he sent her in to deliver his instructions & she came-on all lady-muck. The squrming toad couldn't even look me in the eye. After she left, I changed every password on their system, shut it down early, locked the place down solid, posted the keys back through the letterbox. I then ignored the phone for a fortnight ecxept to call a pal who worked for the firm whom they would undoubtedly ask to sort the mess out, who later told me that the job was done disgustingly badly & all-in, cost them many thousands of pounds! I've rarely used a taxi since.

I could go on! :O

[Teabags]

The Priory - For going in and shouting how shit it was in here

Turfed out of the Priory for proclaiming the place a shithole and extreme drunkeness.

snap!!8fuckingcharacters

[Lemonade]

I got kicked out of Moshulu one night for puking all over the floor in the back room after Kai made me drink sambuca. I was ejected fron the side door and I just walked round the front and went back in.

[Guest spikefae20dj]

From the Moorings (not permanently like) on my 18th birthday, for previous underage drinking.

Aww...

naughty. damn underager's can't wait to drink (not that i ever did that :nono:lol)

I got banned from moshulu for being too drunk on my 20th because when the doorman tried to ask me to leave, which by the way was at 03:05 so the bar was closed and i had 15 minutes drinking up time left (used to be a barman), i asked if i could just quickly finish my drink as i'd already gone to beside the door and the guy acused me starting shit and squared up to me so stupidly i tried to hit him but thankfully my m8 grabbed me( i had been very polite till this point but it was a new doorman i think that was trying to impress his boss) anyway got carried out by 3 doorman and came back a month l8r to apologise and got back in after 3 months. mainly cause most the regular doorstaff new me

[Flash@TMB]

Word to anyone engaging in similar antics...

Due to my foolish mischief I was unable to enter various establishments for lengthy periods of time. Being barred from both Unions for 6 months really cost me. My mates weren't going to stop going just because I was barred. After all I was such an asshole they probably wanted rid of me anyway. Plus I'd imagine that pretty much any woman that had ever witnessed any of those drunken antics was probably put off ever going out with me.

So was it worth it? No - not even close!

***

Interestingly there are several levels of being barred:

1) Chucked out. This is no a barring. You are just being told to leave.

2) Being told you are barred. However you can usually sneak back in anythign upwards of 24 hours later. Occasionally an appology is required. Usually they don;t even remember you.

3) A fix temp ban. This is where they know you, and give you a deadline for when you can come back.

4) A proper permanent barring. Usually this is where they know you, and never want to see your face again.

5) A formal barring. On 2 occasions I was photographed with a poleroid, and my picture stuck up on some notice board close to the door of the club. The RGU Union confiscated my matric card, but the Uni only photocopied it. Again the picture went up on a notice board.

[Guest bluesxman]

I've never actually been kicked out of or banned from any establishment I don't think. Closest I think I came was at famed Stonehaven entertainment complex 'The Commie', RIP, when I had on a denim jacket, had been in the place for over 2 hours and then 15 minutes before closing one of the bouncers decided to tell me to take off my jacket and put it into the cloakroom.

'Take that jacket off and put it in the cloakroom'

'Why?'

'It's denim'

'So?'

You aren't allowed to wear denim jackets in here'

'So how come I've managed for the past 2 hours?'

'That's not the point, take it off'

'No'

'Look you better take that jacket off or leave'

'If you think I'm spending money putting my jacket in the cloakroom with 15 minutes till closing after wearing it for the past 2 hours you can f**k off'

Strangely given the reputation of most of the bouncers he ended up shaking his head while I wandered off.

That place was great, I went for years underage without ever being refused entry, probably due to healthy early stubble coverage, then once I had actually turned 18 I got refused for not having ID.

After ending up in Stonehaven's Divas entertainment nerve centre on Saturday night, I kind of wish I was banned from there to give me a good reason not to go other than the fact you can't get served at a bar for at least 20 minutes, the music is s**t and it is full of scum. (Not counting the lovely project:venhell boys of course who I seem to see in there every time I go )

[Flash@TMB]

I've never actually been kicked out of or banned from any establishment I don't think. Closest I think I came was at famed Stonehaven entertainment complex 'The Commie', RIP, when I had on a denim jacket, had been in the place for over 2 hours and then 15 minutes before closing one of the bouncers decided to tell me to take off my jacket and put it into the cloakroom.

'Take that jacket off and put it in the cloakroom'

'Why?'

'It's denim'

'So?'

You aren't allowed to wear denim jackets in here'

'So how come I've managed for the past 2 hours?'

'That's not the point, take it off'

'No'

'Look you better take that jacket off or leave'

'If you think I'm spending money putting my jacket in the cloakroom with 15 minutes till closing after wearing it for the past 2 hours you can f**k off'

Strangely given the reputation of most of the bouncers he ended up shaking his head while I wandered off.

That place was great, I went for years underage without ever being refused entry, probably due to healthy early stubble coverage, then once I had actually turned 18 I got refused for not having ID.

After ending up in Stonehaven's Divas entertainment nerve centre on Saturday night, I kind of wish I was banned from there to give me a good reason not to go other than the fact you can't get served at a bar for at least 20 minutes, the music is s**t and it is full of scum. (Not counting the lovely project:venhell boys of course who I seem to see in there every time I go )

Just in case you (anyone) ever gain access to a Tardis, for future/past reference, here is how to deal with bouncers at the Commodore Hotel, Stonehaven. You bribe them. I used to spend all evening drinking in Joiners (later G's Bar). I'd drift up to the Commie well after midnight. Not sure if you remember but they used to close the doors at midnight and refuse to admit anyone after that time. Fuck knows why? Anyhow I'd be dressed like this:

Except without the motobike, and plus a bandana. The cutoff later acquired metal spikes in the shoulders too, plus numerous offensive patches.

So I'd arrive perhaps 0030 or even 0100, and not adhereing to their dress code, to be confronted by a closed door. I'd also be drunk and possibly stoned out of my tiny mind. I'd knock on the door like this "rat tat, tat tat tat, tat tat tat tat, rat tat!" and the door would open a crack. I'd insert my arm, attached to the end of which would be my hand, clutching a crumpled fiver. You may recall that this was not far short of the official admission fee anyway. Then door would open a bit more and I'd be dragged inside by strong welcoming hands, straightened up and dusted down to remove the worst of the flies.. Then be free to wander resplendent through the crowds, completely unopposed, and with complete dispensation as regards my clobber. A single fly encrusted pissed up biker among the herds of besuited vermin.

Later on they relaxed the dress code. But the moral of the story is that discreet bribery will get you everywhere.

[Guest spikefae20dj]

nice bike

that is a fuckin beauty of a bike u got there but there is a cheaper way to get into places after doors close and not adhering to dress code, although not quite as good, you work there i worked at liquid and used to wonder about off duty getting some free drink and wearing my leather jacket with black trousers and chains also before that i worked at club tropicana/ private eyes (same company) and was dressed the same there, i tell ya it was fun walking about in leather surounded by busines men and strippers only. this also means u get paid too but i really didn't hang out in liquid much unless getting free drink which is a good enough reason for me

[Flash@TMB]

that is a fuckin beauty of a bike u got there

She's Italian, a 1979 Laverda Triple, in this case a hybrid between a Mirage and a Jota. Chasis number 1747. Between 1973 and 1983 those were the fastest production motorcycles in the world. It took the GPZ900R to eclipse it, and back in 1983 a GPZ900R looked like something from outer space LOL. Had one of those too but didn't much care for it.

Still have the Laverda though. Once saw a genuine 140mph (full revs in fifth gear) out of it... two up

[pogofish]

She's Italian, a 1979 Laverda Triple, in this case a hybrid between a Mirage and a Jota. Chasis number 1747.

Still have the Laverda though.

Please tell me that you had the Jota Chassis!

Old Italian bikes never die, my Duke still sits in its shed waiting!

[Flash@TMB]

Please tell me that you had the Jota Chassis!

Old Italian bikes never die, my Duke still sits in its shed waiting!

In '79 they all used the same frame, with the angled shock points at the back, which is the best one. The engine is a stressed member and all the frame tubes meet *AHEM* under the *AHEM* pillion seat. This coupled to the 180 degree crank provided a major benefit to Laverda ownership *NUDGE NUDGE WINK*.

The triples also shared the same bars, but the Mirage came out the factory with them pointed up (as in this photo), I later dropped them down. This bike has:

Mirage 1149cc engine, with lower (well relatively speaking) compression ration. Meaning that it is possible to ride it through built up areas. Well sort of.

Jota cams

Jota collector box

Jota pipes

Mirage tank

Mirage seat

Jota final drive ratio

It was great for scaring the owners of smaller superbikes, as they'd see the T reg plate, an assume it was a GS750 or whatever, then get the shock of their lives as it's top speed easily extended up to 140mph on a decent length of straight.

Later on I reversed the forks, putting the calipers on the back as they are in modern bikes. This improved the handling no end, as it allowed you to start your lean in and counter steer whilst gently releasing the front brake. Prior to this the brake had to be all the way off before you even thought about leaning or the bike went rigid... causing inexperienced pilots to haul on the brake even harder... cue crash. Also replaced the rubber foot pegs with aluminium rearsets. And the rear shock with Fountana adjustables. Rode this bike pretty much every day for 3 years.

The handling was much on par with my GPZ900R, although the Laverda has superior ground clearence. The 18" wheels made for relatively slow steering though, and you had to be very smooth and graceful leaning onto that 120 section rear tyre!

Very strong bike too. Once cartwheeled it down the Netherly road at 70mph. I was highsided off into the wrong lane, and the bike came bouncing along after me with indicators etc pinging off. It was so strong that I was able to get back on and ride it home. All the damage was superficial, the worst of which was a smashed alternator casing. Do that to contemporary Jap crap and it ends up in a million pieces. Also once had the cush drive pack in, exploding the rear wheel at 90mph. The chain sliced clean through the swinging arm! Kept her upright, running on the remains of said swinging arm, but melted the soles of my boots LOL.