Dan G Posted September 26, 2006 Report Share Posted September 26, 2006 what's brown and runny?Linford christie.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------How many paedophiles does it take to change a lightbulb?Four. One to change the lightbulb, and three to gang-rape a helpless, beaten six year old boy.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------How do you make a baby cry twice in one night?Wipe your bloody cock on it's favourite teddy bear.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------What's the difference between a monkey and a chip shop?You can't buy chips at a monkey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted September 26, 2006 Report Share Posted September 26, 2006 Aw gie's peace, min o_O There are Irish, Sexist, Mysoginistic & Paedophilic jokes on here as well - have a go at them instead.Jokes about black men with big tools are as commonplace (and accepted) as ones about Mean Scots, Thick Irish, Dumb Blondes, Greasy Italians and English Penalty Kick Takers.I personally fall into THREE of those demographics (Scots/Italian/Irish) and you don't hear me complaining.Get out of this PC, nanny state kick - honest tae fuck, you cunts really do my head in. You won't lift a finger to help a pensioner in distress, but if anyone should as much as fart in the general direction of an ethnic minority...These people are more alienated than ever, coz middle-class do-gooders are making them feel LESS a part of British society by pussyfooting around them with kids gloves, DEMANDING that they are treated differently, thus setting them up as targets for REAL sick racists fucks, NOT folk like me who'll poke fun at anyone - ESPECIALLY myself Love & PeaceDZLI'm with you there DZL........except I've got no Irish or Italian in me you fucking thick greasy Mick-Wop mongrel! ;-) how long before someone posts the dictionary definiton of racism then? Go on........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diesel Posted September 26, 2006 Report Share Posted September 26, 2006 I'm with you there DZL........except I've got no Irish or Italian in me you fucking thick greasy Mick-Wop mongrel! ;-) .at's me :up: :up: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam_b Posted September 26, 2006 Report Share Posted September 26, 2006 Yeah YOUOh i'm scared of the big man and the big font and the racist 'banter'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bodast Posted September 26, 2006 Report Share Posted September 26, 2006 What do you call a 12-sided Polish goalie?A Dudekahedron!(I made that one up myself) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diesel Posted September 26, 2006 Report Share Posted September 26, 2006 Oh i'm scared of the big man and the big font and the racist 'banter'.I had a snappy comeback for that, but then I checked your profile, you're 17 and from Ellon - poor kid, you don't know shit.And yes, you should be scared, it's a big, bad ugly world out there - it scares me shitless sometimes and if you're offended by mere "banter", then if afraid you won't last 2 minutes down the A90 in adultsville.And that's my final word on the matter.Anyway...Q...what do you call a man who can laugh at defeat?A...a Jamacian chirpodist with a good sense of humour.DZL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted September 26, 2006 Report Share Posted September 26, 2006 Oh i'm scared of the big man and the big font and the racist 'banter'.Sam, if you're offended by what you percieve to be racist then why have you taken no exception to other jokes in this thread which mostly relate to racial stereotyping? (not mentioning dead babies, paedophiles, the abuse of women, horses with testicular cancer etc.!) Race-related banter it is I guess, racist it is certainly not. At least that's my opinion. Are you willing to admit that Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock and Richard Pryor are racists too for using racial or colour stereotyping in their jokes? Have a think about it and explain your thinking. Why are pirates called pirates? Because they ARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH! (I guess that one has to be spoken!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted September 26, 2006 Report Share Posted September 26, 2006 What do you call a 12-sided Polish goalie?A Dudekahedron!(I made that one up myself)So bad it made me chuckle! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metarie Posted September 27, 2006 Report Share Posted September 27, 2006 How do you make a baby cry twice in one night?Wipe your bloody cock on it's favourite teddy bear.Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude o_O I'm obviously deeply disturbed for smirking at all these jokes. Disturbed and wonderfully immature. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psydoll Posted September 27, 2006 Report Share Posted September 27, 2006 A horse walks into a bar, goes up to the barman and orders a pint of lager. The barman looks at the horse for a second then says "Why the long face?"The horse replies, "I've got testicular cancer."Like a lead balloon this went down with JohnC at Moshulu Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ben_1903 Posted September 27, 2006 Author Report Share Posted September 27, 2006 this is one of the 'so shit it isn't good at all and it's totally bollocks'What is he difference between a Weasel and a Stoat?A Weasel is Weasily wecognised, and a Stoat is stoatally different.boom boom! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan G Posted September 27, 2006 Report Share Posted September 27, 2006 I'd like to add my two cents on the racism issue...I don't believe there is anything wrong with stupid out of context racism/offensiveness if it isn't actually directed at someone. Same with jokes about shagging dead babies, beating up woman or whatever sick topic you can muster up. Like I read Frosty jack saying the other day; it's like the difference between merely saying the word 'cunt' and actually calling someone it...So anyway....A black man walks into a bar. He has a massive dick, but on the down-side he steals a tv on his way out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted September 27, 2006 Report Share Posted September 27, 2006 Why did the black man cross the road? A white man made a joke which insinuated that black men have bigger penises than white men and for some peculiar reason rather than saying "hey, thanks, so I've probably got a bigger dick than you, is that what youre saying? Cool!" he was deeply offended and stormed off through the traffic screaming RACIST! RACIST! THAT GUYS A RACIST!If stereotypes were true and you got to choose your heritage/race, what would you choose? OK, so you can be: - Irish and stupid as fuck- Italian and sleazy- English and generally disliked- Welsh and have sex with sheep- Scottish and drunk and mean etc. etc. etc. Or black and have a big dick..Hmmmmm, clearly drunk and mean would be first choice but Id be tempted by the whopping schlong. Erm, maybe that last part of that sentence didnt come out right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted September 27, 2006 Report Share Posted September 27, 2006 Why do black men wear baggy trousers?Because they're negros.(any attempts to say this joke is racist makes you a fucking twat.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan G Posted September 27, 2006 Report Share Posted September 27, 2006 Why do black men wear baggy trousers?Because they're negros.(any attempts to say this joke is racist makes you a fucking twat.)Negro isn't really racist anyway, as it comes directly from 'Negroid' which is the proper term for people of what is most thougt of as african american or afro-carribean race... With the only other two true races being 'Mongoloid' (i.e. chinese/korean etc) and 'Caucasion' (i.e. Normal people*)Surprisingly, Pakistanis and Indians are actually caucasion and therefore the same race as your typical 'white' person.*joking Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan G Posted September 27, 2006 Report Share Posted September 27, 2006 Why do black men wear baggy trousers?Because they're negros.(any attempts to say this joke is racist makes you a fucking twat.)Negro isn't really racist anyway, as it comes directly from 'Negroid' which is/was a proper term for people of african descent. With the other two races being 'Mongoloid' (i.e. chinese/korean etc) and 'Caucasion' (i.e. Normal people*)Surprisingly, Pakistanis and Indians are actually caucasion and therefore the same race as your typical 'white' person. *joking Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FezMonkey Posted September 27, 2006 Report Share Posted September 27, 2006 Like a lead balloon this went down with JohnC at Moshulu Indeed. At least you, Jonny and Jimmy Lucifer appreciated it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam_b Posted September 27, 2006 Report Share Posted September 27, 2006 I checked your profile, you're 17 and from Ellon - poor kid, you don't know shit.Its a great insight to both your attitude and your inability to argue if you have to try and pull up stuff like that 'to prove a point'.Pathetic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Craig C Posted September 27, 2006 Report Share Posted September 27, 2006 Its a great insight to both your attitude and your inability to argue if you have to try and pull up stuff like that 'to prove a point'.Pathetic That's a bit much coming from someone who won't argue themselves. As someone mentioned earlier, why are you not offended by virtually every other joke on this thread?Or is it just 'racial' jokes that push your button? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted September 27, 2006 Report Share Posted September 27, 2006 Sam, if you're offended by what you percieve to be racist then why have you taken no exception to other jokes in this thread which mostly relate to racial stereotyping? (not mentioning dead babies, paedophiles, the abuse of women, horses with testicular cancer etc.!) Race-related banter it is I guess, racist it is certainly not. At least that's my opinion. Are you willing to admit that Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock and Richard Pryor are racists too for using racial or colour stereotyping in their jokes? Have a think about it and explain your thinking. Sam, ability to argue. Go for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveCrisis Posted September 27, 2006 Report Share Posted September 27, 2006 A wee 7 year old Aberdonian loon and his 5 year old brother areupstairs in their bedroom. "De ye ken fit?", says the 7 year old, "I think it's aboot time westarted sweering." The 5 year old nods his head in approval."Fin we ging doonstairs for breakfast I'm going to swear first,then yekin sweer after me, ok?""Aye!" the 5 year old agrees with enthusiasm.The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what hewants for breakfast."A'll hae some of that Weetabix shite !"*SMACK*!!He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up,and ran upstairs crying his eyes out.She looked at the 5 year old and asked with a stern voice, "And whatdo YOU want for breakfast, young man????""I dinna ken," he blubbers, "but it winna be fuckin Weetabix!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Craig C Posted September 27, 2006 Report Share Posted September 27, 2006 Q: What have Gareth gates and Harold Shipman got in common?A: Neither of them can finish a sentence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam_b Posted September 27, 2006 Report Share Posted September 27, 2006 Sam, ability to argue. Go for it.There's precious little to argue about.Sam, if you're offended by what you percieve to be racist then why have you taken no exception to other jokes in this thread which mostly relate to racial stereotyping?Did I say I found any other jokes inoffensive? I merely picked out what I thought was one of the worst examples. Don't assume.Race-related banter it is I guess, racist it is certainly notOne mans racism is anothers 'race related banter'. I don't see much banter about someone being blakc and supposedly having a large penis, personally.. Are you willing to admit that Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock and Richard Pryor are racists too for using racial or colour stereotyping in their jokes? Yes, but how does that make it acceptable or prove a point?Have a think about it and explain your thinking. Its pretty simple logic that when youre making jokes about peoples supposed racial stereotypes or differences, its racist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Gold Posted September 27, 2006 Report Share Posted September 27, 2006 Eesh, the issue of race... not touching that one.How do you make a granny's toes curl?Fuck her with her tights on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted September 27, 2006 Report Share Posted September 27, 2006 There's precious little to argue about.Did I say I found any other jokes inoffensive? I merely picked out what I thought was one of the worst examples. Don't assume.One mans racism is anothers 'race related banter'. I don't see much banter about someone being blakc and supposedly having a large penis, personally.Yes, but how does that make it acceptable or prove a point?Its pretty simple logic that when youre making jokes about peoples supposed racial stereotypes or differences, its racist.Soooooooooooooooooo, the following people are racists:ben_1903Rufus13thDZLthegreatcornholiokielan 303SteveCrisisDan AtomShakiEddie Murphy Richard Pryor Chris Rock...............and most people who have ever told you a joke. There's a hell of a lot of racists out there Sam. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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