Sue Denim..

Did anyone watch the Grampian news article last night about prostitution? They had a guy with a microphone just along from the Moorings bar filming live when some fat chick came along and flashed the camera man. Class.

There was also that gay bar that burned down next to Marks and Spencer. Castros or something. Anyone remember the joys of going into Oscars? (Now Jumping Jacks or whatnot.) I remember the place used to be full of tramps towards the end.

I remember being in 'Rabbies Bar' now 'Cheers' with a group of friends and we got into an arguement with another crowd over a game of pool. There was a bit of a mexican stand-off as my mate snapped the pool cue over his knee and gave the classic 'Come on then' line. Everyone kind of backed off until we were all out of there. Great memories.

Admiral Ackbar outtakes... YouTube - Admiral Ackbar outtakes

God, I always thought Barney Rubbles was the pre-windmill bar .... now some french food place. I must have been drunk back then. Don't forget Glow 303 / Kef. Oh Henry's used to be good. Don't even know if it still exists as a bar. Dr Drakes, when it was still at the Castle Gate. That bar on Bridge street where we used to have goth nights. (The one with the really tall doors that's eternally shut now.)

This OXO advert is a personal favourite. YouTube - Bernie sings shepherd's pie

Just suffered "Quantum Of Solace". Utter shite. I've played video games with a better story. Lots of action ... perhaps even too much and a lot of dumbing down, possibly to appeal to Americans. Two Stars.

A four and a half day school week? You must be joking. Keep them in longer, belt them and bring back latin.

Just watched 'The Clone Wars'. For a Star Wars fan like myself I thought it was brilliant. Baby Jabba rocks.

Through the big gaping wound where its nose once was.

Unfortunately for the Police, they can't be in every bar all the time. Therefore, if you take drugs and see them testing people, go somewhere else for the time being. It's hardly going to change the world. What bugs me most is the infringment of my civil liberty. Why can I not go into a pub and order a drink without getting tested? And why just pubs? Do drug users not also walk into shops? I can just imagine the outrage if they set up shop inside Marks and Spencer and started testing everyone with swabs on the way in.

Mr Woodcock. and yes, I found the purile comedy funny.

You were walking down the street in Vancouver?

I'm off to the Moorings to get blindingly drunk.

Just to get something free from my bank, I regularly ask for a new cashpoint card. I don't even need one, just want a new one.

I watched 'The Spiderwick Chronicles' on DVD. Lord of the Rings it aint.

My bank, Lloyds just sent me a crappy diary and had the nerve to charge me 16 quid for it!! Who the fuck uses a diary these days?

I keep telling people to read this but they just don't want to read a 'comic'. It's fantastic. I also recommend The Preacher graphic novels.

You forgot to mention the obligatory sob story... "I'm doing this because 'sob' it was my dying wife's wish for me to play the spoons in front of Prince Charles at a Royal variety performance..." Utter shite. Bring back the muppet show.

It's been ages since I've heard some of your DJ skills so I'll be there tonight.

Fucking brilliant.

At least they're well drawn. I've got some right old shite on my body!

The only chance of a cash-in-hand job these days is in babysitting for someone or doing a spot of gardening. Other than that, who else pays cash-in-hand? (without going through the taxman... obviously some jobs pay cash. )

What bugs the fuck out of me is that there are never enough taxis to service Aberdeen crowds at the weekend. What's wrong with introducing weekend-only licences for extra taxis. . ... Oh, I know the answer to that, our incompetent councellors backed down from the idea when a lot of irate cabbies started shouting down the idea as it would take away their lively hood. This from the fucking taxis that take me to and from the airport when I go offshore and have the cheek to say stuff like ... " I gave up the offshore business years ago mate... more money in this business....... that'll be 20". And they expect a tip, they can Fuck right off!. .... actually, that is, they used to take me to and from the airport. Now I take the bus for 1.80. As are more and more offshore types.

Christ, what kind of riff-raff are trying to enter the bar these days. I thought jeans and T-shirt were the standard fare. (Preferably a faded Hawkwind T-shirt and a pair of '80s Wranglers. )