Sue Denim..

Peteowar Shane Clark

Electronics technician and part time inventor. (Of integration modules..... usually when new technology has to integrate with old shite because a company won't pay for a full re-fit I build integration modules.)

Does anyone else own one of these? I know it's just a toy but hey, I've thrown away my air guitar and can play one of these like a natural. If you can't play guitar but want to rock out like the best of them, invest in one of these beauties. Once you've mastered the built in tunes from Motorhead to Judas Priest you can plug in your ipod and start jamming to your own stuff. I'd love to see someone play one through a distortion pedal or something.

Personally I don't give a shite about the music scene in Aberdeen. I'm purely here because there are people I know that hang about on this site (as well as the bars that are represented on it) and it's probably the biggest Aberdeen forum around. And I still think Fudge is a chocolate bar by Cadburys.

Some shows should stay buried. What next? Treasure Hunt?

Whoops! Ok, this one hasn't surfaced yet....

Jeremy Beadle's family have released details of his funeral arrangements. There will be a private family service followed by a small finger buffet.

I'd have to have both halves of the crab..... 'cos I'm shellfish.

That sounds like a laugh. I seem to remember ages ago there was a really daft USA jacket being auctioned that someone on here bid for but didn't send the money. It was pretty damn awful and looked something like this... Only worse.

What area of town was this?

He really was a big celebrity..... but on the other hand etc.... Sadly missed. A bit of a personal hero in a way as he was an keen amateur magician (and member of the magic circle) as well as a TV joker. Perhaps this is his biggest TV joke yet. He'll pop up in a false beard and glasses and tell his wife she's been on Beadles About!

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, 'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the motorway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but..... Something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck, and we were unable to find it.' The man groans, but the doctor goes on, 'You've got 9000 in insurance compensation coming to you, and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's 1000 an inch.' The man perks up at this. 'So,' the doctor says, 'it's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision.' The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day. 'So,' says the doctor, 'have you spoken with your wife ?' 'I have,' says the man. 'And has she helped you in making the decision?' 'She has,' says the man. 'And what is it?' asks the doctor. 'We're getting a new kitchen.'

Hey, it's a pretty damn fine bubble machine. .... you'd do the same!

My Grandad was pretty ill so we covered him in goose fat and margerine.... .... he went downhill pretty fast after that.

I remember being (a visitor I might add) to Gay Pride in Duthie Park a few years ago when my lad was about 4 years old. He won a raffle prize which was a copy of 'Brokeback Mountain.' He looked rather upset at his prize and pointed to a bubble machine in the corner of the tent which wasn't actually a prize. Needless to say, he walked home the pride owner of a bubble machine and was spared the ordeal of having to watch a cowboy suck cock around the campfire.... or whatever he does in the film.

scat? Unfortunate name for a Scottish culture group.

Great Daily Mail story. I just hope we get a full follow-up story saying how much compensation he got and how he turns out to be a black immigrant on benefits who shouldn't be here anyway. And the bloke .... rather disturbingly, looks like I used to look with black hair and no beard. o_O

No. Reading expands the vocabulary, improves mental health and provides cheap entertainment. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy Playstation, Wii as well.

Happiness is a cigar called Hamlet.

Surely everyone confesses to guilt after torture. Whether guilty or not. Torture should be reserved for those already found guilty via the legal process.

Where do you get that statistic from? I can't find any reference to it on the web.

And a great night was had by all. (Especially Lisa downing 4 Jagers in one.)

Yeah, you're right. It's time I upped the rent on my one bedroom lease. My tennants are getting it too easy.

Jeezus, do you know how difficult transformers have become over the years? My kid now has a pretty good collection of the fuckers and I challenge anyone to do the Millenium Falcon one without instructions. Death Star Vader is a cunt to get right sometimes whilst drunk but I can do (and have done) bonecrusher drunk and with my eyes shut. It's like a modern day rubicks cube.

These exams really stress me out. My other half has exams at the moment and she's spent so much time revising that she hasn't had a chance to clean the house yet. Fucking nightmare.