SteveCrisis

Buying this at the weekend. Cheers for the heads up, Phil:up:

Incessantly. Spell checking duties over for the day, thank you.

An empty jam jar and a thruppeny bit.

You couldn't disgrace that by call it a twat. You'd have to give it proper noun status and refer to hers as a Vagina!

One of the guys in Pungent Stench had the surname Wank

I cycled through Twat in Orkney once. It consist of 3 houses and a barn. There were even road signs that said 'You Are Now Entering Twat' 'You Are Now Leaving Twat' 'Twat. Please Drive Carefully'

It's a quality HBO series that's in to its 5th season. I was recommended it by so many people I simply had to buy it on spec and am glad to say I am not disappointed.

And they have no concept of other currencies either. I was asked by an assistant in a Rite-Aid Pharmacy 'Do you have dollars where you come from?' As Morrissey said on You Are The Quarry: America is not the world

Got mine through Ticketmaster just now. I thought they would have been snapped up quicker than this

Including front bottoms?

The Smyths - quality Smiths tribute band. Played twice at Kef before.

Pisheree - urinal or trough

Not forgetting 'Stobe' or 'Stoab'

I heard she's going in for artificial insemination. They're going to roll her in flour and aim for the wet spot.

Cludgie - toilet AND cunt.

If memory serves me well there was at least one per issue that was helpful. One in particular was how to degunk your fuel tank if some bastard had poured sugar in to it.

Seasons 1 & 2 DVD boxsets of The Wire 24 each at HMV

Remember when this appeared in Viz? Some of them were quite handy to know, others were just taking the piss. Here's two for starters: To avoid crumbling a stock cube in your hands and spilling the contents everywhere except the pan, simply crumle it in its foil wrapper, open carefully and sprinkle. If you don't own a dog but want to pretend you have an Andrew Puppy, unwind it leaving a trail of toilet roll around your house and end up in the bathroom dropping the last of it in the toilet bowl. Press flush and watch the trail disappear just like it was attached to a retriever pup. This can also be used to resemble someone slurping a spaghetti strand into their gob. Feel free to post your top tips.

I'm looking forward to this in a vicarious I- know-it's-going-to-be-crap-but-what-the-hell way. Things you'd never hear Rambo say # 1 'Fuck 'em. I want a United Nations resolution on this' Die Hard 4 is going to kick ass.

Pun of the century!

You have been assured correctly. Two and a bit months to go and it's the publication of Brookie's latest 'Attack Of The Unsinkable Rubber Duck.' Parlabane's back, but he's deid.

Cheers Bri:up:

Good to see you have (or had) Clutch's From Beale Street To Oblivion. Any chance of getting their Blast Tyrant album added?

That's just made my piss poor Monday all the more enjoyable. The Kennedy assassination segment was spot on!

A lady who had been married for several years was growing more and more Frustrated at her husband's lack of interest in sex. She wondered about ways to add some pizzazz to their sexual relationship, and finally decided to purchase some crotchless underwear she had seen in a lingerie shop. One evening when she was feeling particularly desirous, and he was, as usual, watching television, she took a shower, freshened up, and donned the crotchless undies and a slinky negligee. She then strolled between her husband and the television and suggestively tossed one leg up on his chair arm. "Want some of this?" she purred. "Are you kidding?" he replied. "Look what it did to your underwear."