MC Nice Andrew Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Went on one of those 'once in a lifetime' holidays once. Never again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Stu Posted September 10, 2010 Report Share Posted September 10, 2010 I'm downloading the Qu'ran from an ebook site. I've got a slow connection but it should be done by Saturday the 11th.I'm putting it on disk, if anyone wants one I can burn a few copies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarmaTsunami Posted September 10, 2010 Report Share Posted September 10, 2010 Told my mate that I just got a job at a bowling alley. "Tenpin?" she asked, "Nah," I replied, "it's permanent." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted September 10, 2010 Report Share Posted September 10, 2010 Told my mate that I just got a job at a bowling alley. "Tenpin?" she asked, "Nah," I replied, "it's permanent."Told my mate I'd been down to Poole on holiday. "In Dorset?" she asked, "aye, I'd recommend it to anyone" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
south_trendkill Posted September 13, 2010 Report Share Posted September 13, 2010 So, theres a man crawling through the desert. | The Edge of I-Hackedthe most epic joke ever! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 Susan Boyle was seen running around Bellahouston Park dressed as an alter boy.Its amazing the length some people will go to to lose their virginity!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 So, theres a man crawling through the desert. | The Edge of I-Hackedthe most epic joke ever!I can't believe I read that whole thing. Took me over an hour. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted September 17, 2010 Report Share Posted September 17, 2010 I can't believe I read that whole thing. Took me over an hour.I got about a third of the way through and lost the will to live and skipped to the end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TelecasterSam Posted September 23, 2010 Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 What's 6 inches long, with a purple head and women love em ? .......a twenty pound note! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 What's the difference between a Kangaroo and a Kangaroot?One is a Kangaroo and the other is Gazza stuck in a lift.I'm not sorry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gypsum_Fantastic Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 you should be sorry for listening to that cretin in the morning (i was forced) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 How do you get a gay man to have sex with a woman? Shit in her cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 How do you get a gay man to have sex with a woman? Shit in her cunt.Good god man! I thought i'd heard them all but that's disgusting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 What's more useless than tits on a fish?Steve Irwin's snorkel.more useless than that?Elizabeth Fritzl's window cleaner.more useless than that?Maddie's return ticket.more useless than that?Jamie Bulger's train timetable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 My joke was actually quite pleasant compared to that Teabags. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 I know. Ain't I a horrible cunt? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted September 23, 2010 Report Share Posted September 23, 2010 Utterly repugnant. In a nice way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted October 11, 2010 Report Share Posted October 11, 2010 "No," sighs Violent J. "I figured most people would say, 'Wow, I didn't know Insane Clown Posse could be deep like that.' But instead it's, 'ICP said a giraffe is a miracle. Ha ha ha! What a bunch of idiots.'" He pauses, then adds defiantly, "A giraffe is a fucking miracle. It has a dinosaur-like neck. It's yellow. Yeah, technically an elephant is not a miracle. Technically. They've been here for hundreds of years""Thousands," murmurs Shaggy."Have you ever stood next to an elephant, my friend?" asks Violent J. "A fucking elephant is a miracle. If people can't see a fucking miracle in a fucking elephant, then life must suck for them, because an elephant is a fucking miracle. So is a giraffe."Insane Clown Posse: And God created controversy | Music | The Guardian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TelecasterSam Posted October 12, 2010 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2010 This is a story about the bond formed between a little girl and agroup of building workers. It's allegedly true and might help to confirmyour belief in the goodness of people and that there is hope for the humanrace....................A young family moved into a house next door to an empty plot. One day, agang of building workers turned up to start building on the plot.The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in allthe activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.She hung around and eventually the builders, all with hearts of gold,more or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot. Theychatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunchbreaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feelimportant.They even gave the child her very own hard hat and gloves, which thrilledher immensely.At the end of the first week, the smiling builders presented her with apay envelope - containing two pounds in 10p coins. The little girl tookher 'pay' home to her mother who suggested that they take the money to the bank the next day to open a savings account.At the bank, the female cashier was tickled pink listening to the littlegirl telling her about her 'work' on the building site and the fact she had a 'pay packet'.'You must have worked very hard to earn all this', said the cashier.The little girl proudly replied, 'Yes, I worked every day with Steve andWayne and Mike. We're building a big house.''My goodness gracious,' said the cashier, 'And will you be working on thehouse again next week?'The child thought for a moment. Then she said seriously:'I think so.......... Provided those wankers at Jewsons deliver the fucking bricks.' 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted October 12, 2010 Report Share Posted October 12, 2010 I enjoyed that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted October 13, 2010 Report Share Posted October 13, 2010 The first thing the Chilean miners are going to do is go and visit Anfield and show Roy Hodgson how to get out of a big hole by Christmas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig C Posted October 13, 2010 Report Share Posted October 13, 2010 So the Chilian miners are nearly all out, there's only Juan left... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scottish_Guy Posted November 7, 2010 Report Share Posted November 7, 2010 A chicken and an egg are lying in bed, enjoying a post sex fag. The chicken turns too the egg and says "well that answers that old question" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Stu Posted November 7, 2010 Report Share Posted November 7, 2010 How did the tiger send his files?He RAR'd them. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted November 8, 2010 Report Share Posted November 8, 2010 How did the tiger send his files?He RAR'd them.Excellent! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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