Huw Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 my mates lie about being Scottish International rugby players very frequently to pull girls in Pearl Lounge... it works a treat, but now one of them is an international so he doesn't need to lie any more.The same two guys also pull the Doctor from New Zealand and Dolphin Trainer from South Africa... only because the girls were drunk it worked as their accents were horrendous. In the end, one of them got busted because he knew one of the chat upee's friends. I was told it was quite a site. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jake Wifebeater Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 I knew someone whos girlfriend lied about being on the pill.I've known quite a few guys who've had similar experiences of being conned into being a dad. Don't assume she's on any form of contraception just because she says she is. She could always "forget" to take the pill.Watch out for the "I have polycystic ovarian syndrome so it's very unlikely I'll conceive" line as well, heard of that one being used. In next to no time it's the "we're pregnant" line. Err, no. YOU'RE pregnant. And you lied.Guys, keep yourselves right... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 Watch out for the "I have polycystic ovarian syndrome so it's very unlikely I'll conceive" line as well, heard of that one being used. Hmm... I can imagine that on being a bit of a turn off, not exactly a sexy thing to say as you're about to get into bed.That said it definitley rings a bell and I'm sure somebody's said it to me at some point. Or maybe it was on the telly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest treader. Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 I've known quite a few guys who've had similar experiences of being conned into being a dad. Don't assume she's on any form of contraception just because she says she is. She could always "forget" to take the pill.Watch out for the "I have polycystic ovarian syndrome so it's very unlikely I'll conceive" line as well, heard of that one being used. In next to no time it's the "we're pregnant" line. Err, no. YOU'RE pregnant. And you lied.Guys, keep yourselves right...Here's an idea...wrap up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RossP Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 The same two guys also pull the Doctor from New Zealand and Dolphin Trainer from South Africa... only because the girls were drunk it worked as their accents were horrendous. In the end, one of them got busted because he knew one of the chat upee's friends. I was told it was quite a site.I've used the Dolphin Trainer line before and it worked. During the chatting up, I excused myself to the bathroom and checked out dolphin facts on my mobile's WAP to make sure I was convincing. I 'flew back to the USA the next morning', and thankfully have never seen the girl since!I've also been a land mine clearer in Eastern Europe. But that was only because I said my name was Jake Rockwell and I was a 'Land Operations Expert' (80s cartoon Centurions!), she asked what that entailed and I panicked. That line worked as well, and I 'flew back to Bosnia the next day'.Being a teacher seems to work even better; who would've thought telling the truth would get you women! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Easy Wishes Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 I've known quite a few guys who've had similar experiences of being conned into being a dad. Don't assume she's on any form of contraception just because she says she is. She could always "forget" to take the pill.Watch out for the "I have polycystic ovarian syndrome so it's very unlikely I'll conceive" line as well, heard of that one being used. In next to no time it's the "we're pregnant" line. Err, no. YOU'RE pregnant. And you lied.Guys, keep yourselves right...Thanks Dad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 Being a teacher seems to work even better; who would've thought telling the truth would get you women!I've got a mate who's a helicopter engineer. Telling the truth never worked when I was out with him and his workmates. Girl asks what we all do and gets helicopter engineer, pilot, helicopter engineer then IT support from muggins here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 Being a teacher seems to work even better; Certainly seemed to work for my old teacher.Crown Office urged to prosecute teacher who got pupil pregnant - The Scotsman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 My brothers went out in kilts one night and convinced girls that they were the Scottish Dog Sledding champions and had just got back from Canada and were celebrating their win.They did a very convincing "MUSH!"Yas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RossP Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 Certainly seemed to work for my old teacher.Crown Office urged to prosecute teacher who got pupil pregnant - The ScotsmanAnd when we're not impregnating 16 year olds, we're selling Crystal Meth!BBC NEWS | Scotland | North East/N Isles | Teacher suspended on drugs charge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJ Jo-D Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 my mates lie about being Scottish International rugby players very frequently to pull girls in Pearl Lounge... i.I wouldn't have thought it would be that hard to pull in pearl lounge, we went once and it was crazythe folk running around trying to pull....what a shape people were in too, on entry a girl was outside no shoes feet bleeding crying and being igrnored by bouncers...sad state of affairs...in the bar a girl who was bleezing doing splits and not being able to get up was hilarious...but we had to tell her her skirt had risen above her ass haha would have been wrong not toGuys, keep yourselves right...I don't agree with girls doing that (why on earth would you want to force a guy to have a child...or equally get married) boy use condoms then you'll never fall into the trap! it work both ways! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 Quality lie. I bet it works a treat.Yeah. It does. He looks exactly like him, but older. Genius. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swingin' Ryan Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 Watch out for the "I have polycystic ovarian syndrome so it's very unlikely I'll conceive" line as well, heard of that one being used. In next to no time it's the "we're pregnant" line. Err, no. YOU'RE pregnant. And you lied.Don't get me wrong, I've gone out with some 'odd' girls but it's normally been a 'wearing kooky jumpers' or 'collecting old rail tickets' kind of 'odd'. I am yet to go out with a girl who pretends to have a Polycystic Ovary in order to trick me into unwittingly fathering their child against my will. I must have lived a sheltered life... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TR!ΔNGL€ T€€TH Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 Don't get me wrong, I've gone out with some 'odd' girls but it's normally been a 'wearing kooky jumpers' or 'collecting old rail tickets' kind of 'odd'. I am yet to go out with a girl who pretends to have a Polycystic Ovary in order to trick me into unwittingly fathering their child against my will. I must have lived a sheltered life...Or maybe you are not tarring all women with the same brush as clearly some sort of head case.How kooky were the jumpers btw? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swingin' Ryan Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 Or maybe you are not tarring all women with the same brush as clearly some sort of head case.I'd like to think that's the case. Although I have less to worry about as I smoke and wear tight trousers so I'm probably as fallow as a desert anyway. How kooky were the jumpers btw?About a 7.5/10 on the Kook-o-meter. More on the 'tacky gift shop jumpers from Owl Sanctuaries' side than the 'Myra Hyndley's head on Anna-Nicole Smith's body' side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moose Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 haha, great thread. I only lie. A list of lies I tell to impress people/chat up girls:I'm irish, australian, american, german or italian...I'm good at football and had was in the youth setup for an abundance of random teams. (Fulham are my favourite).I'm not interested in sexI've broken bones that I havn'tI'm 3-10 years older than I amI'm a lawyer, doctor, engineer (I'm a 20 year old student)I play lots of instruments.etc etcI even lie about what I had for breakfast among other trivial things. I'll say "I had bran flakes" when I actually had weetabix and just think in my head "ha... you moron, you'll never know". One good one that totally worked was that I was a general in the army and was on leave from Iraq and I hadn't kissed a woman in ages. She was really drunk... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 Or maybe you are not tarring all women with the same brush as clearly some sort of head case.Well, we'll stop doing it when every single woman stops acting like a fucking head case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jon Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 Further to the "blokes faking it" stuff from earlier, I once had to fake it during an interminably dull and yet increasingly painful handjob, culminating in me spitting in my own hand, groaning, and hoping to god it was all over.It was, thank fuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 Further to the "blokes faking it" stuff from earlier, I once had to fake it during an interminably dull and yet increasingly painful handjob, culminating in me spitting in my own hand, groaning, and hoping to god it was all over.It was, thank fuck.Yeah, like "someone with parkinsons trying to unblock a drain" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkaline Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 Further to the "blokes faking it" stuff from earlier, I once had to fake it during an interminably dull and yet increasingly painful handjob, culminating in me spitting in my own hand, groaning, and hoping to god it was all over.It was, thank fuck.I find all hand-jobs dull/painful. I have yet to meet a woman who can actually treat a cock properly in that situation. It's not a fucking spectrum joystick during a bout of Daley Thompson's Decathlon.Blow jobs are slightly hit or miss as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 Blow jobs are slightly hit or miss as well.One advantage being we cannot suck ourselves off, aside from a lucky few.And this poses the question; if you could, would you? Cos I totally would, make no mistake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkaline Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 One advantage being we cannot suck ourselves off, aside from a lucky few.And this poses the question; if you could, would you? Cos I totally would, make no mistake.I'd rather go without most of the time to be honest.And no, i know where my cock has been and there is no shitting way it's going anywhere near my mouth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 And no, i know where my cock has been and there is no shitting way it's going anywhere near my mouth I don't know if this sentence reflects worse on you or me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkaline Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 I don't know if this sentence reflects worse on you or me.I have led a wide and varied life my good fellow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 I have led a wide and varied life my good fellow.One that renders your cock totally void for any fellatio, auto or otherwise? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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