Alkaline Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 One that renders your cock totally void for any fellatio, auto or otherwise?I prefer sex to oral and i don't want to suck myself off. I'm not sure why you want to suck yourself off? Not like that's a problem, but still. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 I prefer sex to oral and i don't want to suck myself off. I'm not sure why you want to suck yourself off? Not like that's a problem, but still. Why would I? Why the fuck wouldn't I? Most women are shit at it, and it'd mean I wouldn't have to speak to anyone after and that I could just go back to watching telly with relative ease.Don't get me wrong, sex is great if you can get it, but beggars (me) can't be choosers, and if the oppurtunity to suck myself off should come about, I would be in there like a bolt of lightening. Metaphorically. Though anyone walking in on the debacle would be far more traumatised if I was just beating one off to an Avon catologue.No, it was more the query of your reasons. Your initial reason wasn't preferring sex, it was "Not where my cock has been". Hence the morbid fascination. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkaline Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 Why would I? Why the fuck wouldn't I? Most women are shit at it, and it'd mean I wouldn't have to speak to anyone after and that I could just go back to watching telly with relative ease.Don't get me wrong, sex is great if you can get it, but beggars (me) can't be choosers, and if the oppurtunity to suck myself off should come about, I would be in there like a bolt of lightening. Metaphorically. Though anyone walking in on the debacle would be far more traumatised if I was just beating one off to an Avon catologue.No, it was more the query of your reasons. Your initial reason wasn't preferring sex, it was "Not where my cock has been". Hence the morbid fascination.My cock has seen a few wars. It's a battlefield of its own making. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 I've known quite a few guys who've had similar experiences of being conned into being a dad. Don't assume she's on any form of contraception just because she says she is. She could always "forget" to take the pill.Watch out for the "I have polycystic ovarian syndrome so it's very unlikely I'll conceive" line as well, heard of that one being used. In next to no time it's the "we're pregnant" line. Err, no. YOU'RE pregnant. And you lied.Guys, keep yourselves right...These are the kind of girls that are on Jeremy Kyle and generally shouldn't even be allowed to go outside.I genuinely cannot even comprehend this kind of mental....Yeugh.Anyway. I've watched too much Gossip Girl to tell major-big lies to people. I tell little white lies all the time, but mostly only to my mum... or sometimes my friends. I'm probably going to hell, but, well, sometimes they ask awkward questions that I won't justify with the truth, and sometimes the truth may hurt them. I usually end up telling them the truth later anyway, especially my mum when she's forgotten the lie I told in the first place.Skillz. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain America Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 My cock has seen a few wars. It's a battlefield of its own making.Enough about your cock! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panda Strong Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 I once faked it in a restaurant. Then some woman was like "I'LL HAVE WHAT HE'S HAVING""You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to treader. again." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 I have yet to meet a woman who can actually treat a cock properly in that situation. So you've met some men that can then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkaline Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 So you've met some men that can then?Yeah, me. I feel i do a good job of pleasing myself in that situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest treader. Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT YOUR PENIS. for the love of god.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkaline Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT YOUR PENIS. for the love of god..It wasn't me that brought it up again. You could always just shut the fuck up as well, in general. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 It wasn't me that brought it up again. Fnaar fnaar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skubbs Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 I've known quite a few guys who've had similar experiences of being conned into being a dad. Don't assume she's on any form of contraception just because she says she is. She could always "forget" to take the pill.Watch out for the "I have polycystic ovarian syndrome so it's very unlikely I'll conceive" line as well, heard of that one being used. In next to no time it's the "we're pregnant" line. Err, no. YOU'RE pregnant. And you lied.Guys, keep yourselves right...The amount of blokes I know who have been conned by that one, why the hell would you believe a woman who would be happy to put up with the mess?? Any respectable lassy would demand he have a rubber, just because you say you can't have kids doesn't mean you can't get chlamydia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ollie Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 I once had relations with a girl under the pretence I was the bassist in Biffy Clyro.thats rape brotha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 thats rape brothaSomeone trying to sleep with me-and succeeding- cos they think I'm in a band isn't rape.Maybe find yourself a dictionary, brotha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth Posted January 25, 2009 Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 Maybe it'd be counted as statutory 'cause, well, although she was consenting. The consent was not meant for you.However, that's pretty nifty. How in hell did you manage to pull that off? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scootray Posted January 25, 2009 Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 Maybe it'd be counted as statutory 'cause, well, although she was consenting. The consent was not meant for you.However, that's pretty nifty. How in hell did you manage to pull that off?Yeah, kudos on the maybe statutory rape, dude. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vega Posted January 25, 2009 Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 Maybe it'd be counted as statutory 'cause, well, although she was consenting. The consent was not meant for you.However, that's pretty nifty. How in hell did you manage to pull that off?Really? What Tubthumper said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest treader. Posted January 25, 2009 Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 I fail to see how it's rape. All that will happen is she'll tell her mates she boinked the Biffy drummer.Stop accusing him of rape now thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scootray Posted January 25, 2009 Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 There's only one person whose accused him of maybe rape. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest treader. Posted January 25, 2009 Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 Yeah, I know. I was telling them to stop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 25, 2009 Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 I look the bassist to most people who can't tell the difference between gingers, when I have longer hair.She thought I was him. She hit on me at a party when we were both really drunk, I protested I wasn't repeatedly, eventually after half an hour going "why the fuck not?"There's no maybe about it. It was not any variation on rape, unless the definition has been changed to include giving in after being pestered for sex repeatedly when I was drunk. I did not go up to this drunk girl when I was sober, say I was the bassist, then rape/shag her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest treader. Posted January 25, 2009 Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 I did not go up to this drunk girl when I was sober, say I was the bassist, then rape/shag her.Perhaps a technique that could be more successful in the future? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 25, 2009 Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 Perhaps a technique that could be more successful in the future?Yeah, maybe.This is typical of this forum though- the one time I don't rape someone and thats when I get harassed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth Posted January 25, 2009 Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 So, in reality, it is your first post which is of fault here, as you did not infact lie to this girl in any way, shape or form (which is what may have been implied). She was just misled and you went along with it?Yeah, kudos on the maybe statutory rape, dude.I am not condoning what he did, I just thought it was a bit sneaky. Correct use of the word 'nifty' is not yet something that has come to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 25, 2009 Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 She was just misled and you went along with it?I am not condoning what he did, I just thought it was a bit sneaky.I would consider that a form of lying, though not an out and out one, to be fair.And you should condone what I did. What I did was fucking awesome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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