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Jehovah's Witnesses

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How come they know to call when you have a bastard hangover?:swearing:

It was all I could do to stop myself snarling at them.

hahahaha

did they frown upon your previously intoxicated state? or would that be mormons?

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That's when I usually say "sorry I'm only 17"; as i'm pretty sure it is illegal (?) for them to speak to someone of that age alone. I know those twats with the clipboards on Union St can't ask 17 year olds to help them with their questionnaires, so i'm guessing there's a similar rule for religion.

It has worked in the past anyways. Still works now with the marketers, even though I look nowhere near 17 anymore.

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hahahaha

did they frown upon your previously intoxicated state? or would that be mormons?

They just looked a bit scared by the sheer intensity of my GO AWAY vibe, actually.

But I do recall an incident when mormons called and I had a beer in my hand I don't know why but I got guilty and hid it behind my back. So, we went through the whole God conversation when I'm blatantly hiding a beer behind my back. Basically.

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I had two Jehova's come round once...

I should have knocked them on the head harder.

and dug the well a bit deeper.

IT PUTS THE LOTION IN THE BASKET.

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Just before I moved from Stonehaven, they opened a Jehovahs Witness hall right outside my house.

Annoying cunts. I just tell them God is dead.

...and no one cares?

and if there is a Hell....I'll see you there?

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That's when I usually say "sorry I'm only 17"; as i'm pretty sure it is illegal (?) for them to speak to someone of that age alone. I know those twats with the clipboards on Union St can't ask 17 year olds to help them with their questionnaires, so i'm guessing there's a similar rule for religion.

It has worked in the past anyways. Still works now with the marketers, even though I look nowhere near 17 anymore.

Sadly, thats doesn't work for me any more...or 27...or even 37 ;(

"Fuck off you cunts!", however, is effective in extremis.

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Guest calumunderkills
Sadly, thats doesn't work for me any more...or 27...or even 37 ;(

"Fuck off you cunts!", however, is effective in extremis.

I always get caught by those bastards with the clipboards :swearing:

I'm too nice to tell them to fuck off but it seems that saying "Sorry, I've no money to give you" or "Sorry, I'm really in a hurry" just doesn't get through to them. I know they're trying to do good and raise money for charity and all (most of the time), but if I gave in to every one of the little fuckers and gave them "just a couple of pounds every month" I'd end up bankrupt. I reckon I've been stopped and chatted up by at least 30 charity workers in my life, if I'd signed up for a couple of quid a month with every one of them, that would be a lot my hard earned beer money going to charity....

Am I bad for thinking such things...?

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Guest calumunderkills
haha its like running the gauntlet,

i just pretend i`m german and say nein nein!!!

next time i`ll probably get a german chick stop me!!!

Mobile phone to the ear is a good trick, but you've got be on your toes. I might just start pretending I'm on the phone every single time I walk down Union Street.

The worst I've had is when I worked in Peterhead for a summer. There's not many folk going about the centre of Peterhead, so you're the only one within a 10 feet radius, and the fuckers literally chase after you to speak to you!!

I got chatted up by a bird the day I was running about putting up posters for the Indie-Cent night, so I had a good excuse for having no money, and she did believe me. She still proceeded to tell me what they did and what she was trying to raise money for. It was a really worthwhile cause, and I kept her onside by telling her that. I think she just fancied me actually :up:

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I'm not sure, but I think the clipboard charity workers are paid to do it, aren't they?

By & large, they are not charity workers at all. Instead they work for one of a small number of commercial fundraisers.

The money a charity gets from a chugged donation is very small indeed & by the time they have paid the fundraiser a fee for each sign-up, it can take a very long (year or more) time before they start to get it. After that, paying a long term 50-75% comission to the fundraiser is not unusual.

Seriously, if you are considering a regular donation, contact the charity & donate direct - They get far more value out of your money that way.

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As for the Witnesses, I find it takes a bit of talent to get rid of them but it is a very long time since they bothered me. ;)

Also find it funny that as an evangelical organisation with around seven million members, it still clings to the belief that only 144,000 of them are going to be "special" enough to be admitted to heaven. The rest of them & us can fuck-off, I suppose?

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I always get caught by those bastards with the clipboards :swearing:

I've always got my MP3 player on if I'm in town on my own and I haven't been stopped by anyone in ages. It's like ignoring them, but far less rude!

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Do Jehovas Witnesses drink? Because I think the people that bought my house last week were JWs, and I left them a bottle of wine, hope it didn't offend them, blood of Christ and all that.

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Guest Jake Wifebeater
I always get caught by those bastards with the clipboards

I'm beginning to harbour a psychopathic hatred of those cash-sniffing pig-fuckers. The next one who tries to stop me may very well get flung off Union Bridge. Charity begins at home, and that's where it ends for me.

Not :up:

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I reckon I've been stopped and chatted up by at least 30 charity workers in my life, if I'd signed up for a couple of quid a month with every one of them, that would be a lot my hard earned beer money going to charity....

Am I bad for thinking such things...?

No - those guys are are relentless in their pursuit of your bank details. I've been chased up the street a coupl'a times in the last month alone. It's worse if you look even vaguely 'alternative'...I supposed alterna-youth seem less likely to tell them just to fuck off....:down:

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No - those guys are are relentless in their pursuit of your bank details. I've been chased up the street a coupl'a times in the last month alone. It's worse if you look even vaguely 'alternative'...I supposed alterna-youth seem less likely to tell them just to fuck off....:down:

the chav look is the way to go, surely they would never stop a chav!!!

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