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Last film you watched?


Lemonade

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This weekend I watched:

The Broken - A British thriller / horror movie about a family who are killed and replaced by copies of themselves who jump through mirrors. This film sucked so badly I wished someone would jump through a mirror and kill me. The director's idea to build tension was to have virtually nothing happen for the first hour, show endless replays of a car crash from different angles, and have 10 minutes at a time with no dialogue. It just made it quite amazingly boring. After about an hour something finally happens, and you get about 10 minutes of exciting film, then it goes back to boredom. You never actually find out why the replicants came through the mirrors, or what they were hoping to achieve or anything like that, it just happens. This was utter shit. The director even managed to fuck up the nudity!

*

Futurama - Bender's Big Score. As a huge Futurama fan I had high hopes for this but I was very disappointed. You know how when you watch a new episode of the Simpsons, the animation all looks flashy and shiny, but the 'jokes' completely fall flat? It's like, although it's a cartoon, it actually used to have a sense of realism to it, and it used to be quite grounded, characters could only do things that real human beings could do, and would only behave in ways that would fit in with their characters. But now it's actually like a cartoon, all zany antics, and ridiculous things happening, eg. Bart getting drunk on Jack Daniels in the movie - this would never have happened in the earlier series because it just doesn't fit in with Bart's character. Well, the same has happened with Futurama, it's just become zany and stupid, whereas the jokes used to actually be quite clever and were usually character driven. Stuff like Fry's stupidity and Bender's obnoxiousness were the humour of the earlier series, but they've taken out the character based humour and replaced it with pratfalls and ridiculous things like Hermes having his head chopped off and still being able to talk. This whole film was just a massive fail, I laughed about three times in the entire movie. It's also just full of in-jokes and thinly veiled swipes at Fox for cancelling the program. Matt Groening, has completely lost his touch, and if this manure is what the new series of Futurama is going to be like, I wish it had just stayed cancelled.

*1/2

The Man Who Knew Too Much - A Hitchcock film from 1956 which I quite enjoyed. James Stewart was really good in the lead role, although Doris Day was a bit miscast and didn't really bring anything to the film. It was quite a good story with a good few twists and turns, it did drag on a little bit too long though.

***

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I went to see The Time Travellers Wife yesterday. It was okay. I haven't read the book. It was a bit rushed in places and sort of confusing in others but mostly it made sense, even though I hadn't read the book. Apparently they didn't miss out too much from the book as well, which is always nice. I'd probably give it a 6/10.

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To the delight of no-one - every film I've watched from Lovefilm in the past 4 months in one easy screenshot. Bear in mind, for every pair of films in that list (look at the dates) I've picked one and my girlfriend has picked one - which is why there are things like High School Musical in there.

lovefilm2_original.jpg

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To the delight of no-one - every film I've watched from Lovefilm in the past 4 months in one easy screenshot. Bear in mind, for every pair of films in that list (look at the dates) I've picked one and my girlfriend has picked one - which is why there are things like High School Musical in there.

lovefilm2_original.jpg

Ed Wood? 3 Stars?

Give me that Big Muff back...you...you...you...PHILISTINE!!!

On a 1 to 5 scale Ed Wood is at least a 6!

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Inglorious Bastards original B-movie version. Biggest shock is that the only thing 'B' about it was the script, everything else was decent. The first hour of the film is a bit disjointed, but the train plot keeps everything sane. I loved how everyone jumps out of cars / windows / bunkers when they get shot one guys body ascends over 10 feet off the screen! Its an alright film, but not nearly as gnarly or action-packed as I expected (due to a 15 certificate). Looked like the kind of film that's played on telly throughout the day. Score: 6/10

Tokyo Zombie: tagged as Japans Shaun of the Dead. First half is pretty funny, dark, entertaining and has some top comedy violence. The second half is boring and full of poor drama, with the last 15 minutes perking up again. In true Japanese style weird, irrelevant and perverse subjects crop up throughout, and its got a similar look and feel to the Happiness of the Katakuris - wouldn't rate it as highly though. Score: 5.5/10

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Outlander

Watchable sci-fi B-movie with Jim Cavaziel and a chubby-looking Sofia Myles.

5/10

Fifty Dead Men Walking

Biopic about Martin McGartland, who infiltrated the IRA and who's information to Special Branch is reckoned to have saved the lives of at least 50 men (hence the title). Excellent performance by Jim Sturgess in the leading role and a by-the-numbers one from Sir Ben Kingsley. Worth a watch. Ps - just checked on IMDB and the Rose McGowan look-a-like who plays "Grace", is in fact none other than Ms McGowan herself!

7.5/10

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What ones are your girlfriends then?

W. Changeling. The Wackness. The Orphanage. What Happens In Vegas. High School Musical 3. Angus, Thongs And Perfect Snogging. The Duchess. Igor. 21. Ed Wood. TMNT. The Butterfly Effect. Deja Vu. The Shaggy Dog. The Broken.

We have a competition every time to see who picked the best film, the loser has to make tea. I won this week as my "Death Race" totally pwned her "The Broken".

I's donkey punch any good?...

I really liked it. Read my thoughts righchere

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Watchmen, again, on Blu-ray. It apparently held my attention so well the first time that a second viewing didn't add much to the first. In fact, I enjoyed it on a more retarded Hollywood look-at-the-eye-candy level BUT it does look amazing in HD.

Also, Nixon's nose. LOL.

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Two remakes:

Death Race - Starring Jason Statham. A good old fashioned action movie which never claimed to be anything else. It's about a prison where the inmates have to race against each other heavily modified cars covered in armour and weapons, until there's only one driver left alive. Put brain in neutral and you will enjoy this film very much.

****

The Taking Of Pelham 1 2 3 - I had already decided I was going to dislike this because it's directed by Tony Scott, who I can't stand. But I was pleasantly surprised at how good it was. It's about a guy who hijacks a train, and this blue collar everyday guy who works at the train company who ends up having to deal with him. It was really interesting seeing Travolta and Denzel's characters trying to figure one another out and feel each other out despite only ever communicating by radio. Of course, Tony Scott had to squeeze in a few car crashes and a helicopter and a runaway train, but despite his best efforts to derail the story (see what I did there?) it was still really good, if a little bit too long.

****

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Gran Torino

Rented this last night. It's excellent, superb acting. Eastwood is immense throughout the film and it's a lot more lighthearted than I thought it was going to be (with the exception of the final act of course).

It also made my girlfriend cry. I always thought crying at films was something people said they did but never actually happened.

Top notch. All the praise fired at this film was deserved.

The ending is fucking brilliant, eh?

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I Am Legend - A lot better than I was expecting it to be, but the ending was a bit convenient for my liking. I've been informed that the book is better. Poor Sam.

The book is one of my all-time favourites, but I thought the second half of that film was pretty terrible. The first hour-or-so where it's just Will Smith rolling around an abandoned New York is pretty cool, but when the "monsters" turn up it starts getting silly. They just look like an army of Mitchell Brothers on steroids. And that ending is total bullshit, almost as bad as the Watchmen ending.

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