JME Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 A chicken and an egg are lying in bed, the egg with a satisfied lookChicken-"Well i guess that settles that old argument" Two neds walk into a barned A "You said this place had free hooses init!"Oh dear.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ollie Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar and start knocking back shots of whisky . After a while they both start to get totally wankered and eventually the giraffe is so hammered that it falls to the floor. The barman says to the man ' oi you cant leave that lyin' there!'......the man says' it's not a lion its a giraffe' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen B Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar and start knocking back shots of whisky . After a while they both start to get totally wankered and eventually the giraffe is so hammered that it falls to the floor. The barman says to the man ' oi you cant leave that lyin' there!'......the man says' it's not a lion its a giraffe'This joke is so unfunny. Wishbone take note! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen B Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 There are two muffins in the oven. One muffin says' date=' "Gee, it's hot in here." The other cries, "Oh my LORD, a talkin' muffin!!!"[/quote']You didn't get that from a 2 year old copy of the american Maxim did you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wishbone G Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 In defiance to CamilleY's post:God created Eden in all its glory. A beautiful place of lush forest, lovely smells and wonderful sights. Waterfalls falling from cliffs draped in deep green vegetation, rolling fields surrounded by flowers and fruit. And god said to himself "This is good". And into this gorgeous world God created animals. Majestic creatures of all forms roaming free around the paradise that was Eden. And God said to himself "This is good". And then God created Man. His finest work, in every way. The most intelligent, the most sophisticated of all his creations. Handsome, strong, and clever. A true acheivement to be proud of. And God said "This is good". And then God created woman and said "Oh well, she'll just have to wear makeup" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest treader. Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 What do a pork pie and an old woman's vagina have in common?First you have to bite through the crust, then lick off the jelly before you get to the meat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonty84 Posted June 27, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 Why are all Jewish men circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless there's 20% off Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest treader. Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 A Scotsman goes into a brothel in Amsterdam one night and finds himself a prostitute. He asks her, "How much do you charge for the hour lass?" "100" she replies. So he asks, "Okay do you do Scottish style?" She says "No"He then asks her, "I'll pay you 200 to do it Scottish style" She again says no, not knowing what Scottish style was!So he then offers her 300. Again she declines his offer. So finally he says "I'll give you 500 to go Scottish style with me!"Finally she agrees thinking, "Well, I've been in the game for over 10 years now, I've been there and done that, had every kind of request from weirdos from every corner of the world, how bad could Scottish style be?So she goes ahead and has sex with him, doing it in every kind of way and in every possible position. Finally, after several intense hours they finish. Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says, "That was fantastic. I've never enjoyed it so much. But I was expecting something perverted and disgusting. Where exactly does the 'Scottish style' come in?" .......The Scotsman replies..."I'll pay you next week". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth_groover Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 Your mother's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she looks at the menu and says "OK"! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest treader. Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 Your momma's so fat when she puts on a yellow cat, people shout TAXI! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen B Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 Your momma's so fat when she puts on a yellow cat' date=' people shout TAXI![/quote']Sure they don't shout RSPCA! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bailz Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 What's pink and spongey?A pink sponge! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stripey Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 Todays conundrum is : IDEFUFSNET Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frosty Jack Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 Todays conundrum is : IDEFUFSNETTiff ensued?... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattJimF Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 If it's what i think it is i think you put in an extra E Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hog Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 What is 12 inches long, blue and makes women scream.Cot death Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stripey Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 Tiff ensued?...Snuffed It, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2 minutes of hate Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 why does noddy have a bell on his headbecause he is a fucking cunt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2 minutes of hate Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 knock knock whos therego fuck yourself Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2 minutes of hate Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 whats blue and fucks old ladies pnemonia(alternative answer, me and me lucky blue coat)what goes in out in out in out in out and smells of pissold people doing the okkie koakie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sludge Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 How do you make a girl cum?who gives a fuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2 minutes of hate Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 two cows standing in a field one of them turns to the other one and says moooooooooo.the other one turns round and says "you bastard i was going to say that!!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 LMAO!!!!! that is actually the funniest joke ever!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demon Of The Fall Posted June 28, 2005 Report Share Posted June 28, 2005 whats brown and begins with a P?a shit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Posted June 28, 2005 Report Share Posted June 28, 2005 if god created the upper part of a womans body, who created the lower?the council.. who else would put a shit hole next to a play area. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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