Time Machine

I don't think ANY of the Dons' new signings excite me greatly. Nicholson's probably the best one so far, although it'll be interesting to see how he does. Being an ex-Hun he really needs to start well or the fans will inevitably get on his back. Jamie Smith I've never rated, we used to call him 'kick and rush' when he was at Celtic, because that's all he can do. A pacey, fit player, but his final ball is diabolical and he has no 'Plan B'. I hope he does well though. Langfield couldn't get a game for the Pars, and has signed a 3 year deal with us!!!! Where's the sense in that! I actually quite like Lovell, but I've no idea how he'll get on up here. Can't see any Dons player scoring 20+ goals this season. I would've went for Scott McDonald at Motherwell. We need a poacher not a target man. I agree with the Mariner. Whelan should've been given one more year. As for Maloney, I'd love it if he came up here, I think he'd do well being the main man, and we'd see the best of him.

1. Here And Now - Ride 2. Sally Cinnamon - The Stone Roses 3. Young Again - The Shining 4. Back On The Radio - The Hiss 5. Maybe The People Would Be The Times Or Between Clark and Hilldale - Love

1. C'mere - Interpol 2. The Losing End (When You're On) - Neil Young 3. New Dawn Fades (Live) - New Order feat. Moby, Billy Corgan, John Frusciante 4. Stupid Marriage - The Specials 5. The Good's Gone - The Who "Naked woman, naked man, where did you get that nice suntan?"

1. Mad Cyril - Happy Mondays 2. Soul Kitchen - The Doors (Live in concert) 3. Taste - Ride 4. There Goes The Fear - Doves 5. Shall We Take A Trip? - Northside Bought tickets for the Babyshambles gig at Greenock Town Hall on 26 July. Not a huge Libos/Shambles fan, great singles bands, but really want to see the whole Pete Doherty travelling circus before he self-destructs! Favourite tune of the moment is 'Turn Up The Sun' by Oasis, particularly after the Hampden gig. Brilliant set-opener. Hats off Andy Bell.

First five since being on a magical mystery tour with Oasis.... 1. Hallelujah - Happy Mondays 2. When The Levee Breaks - Led Zeppelin 3. I Don't Know Where It Comes From - Ride 4. The Man Don't Give A F*** - Super Furry Animals 5. Victoria - The Kinks

When The Levee Breaks

1. Columbia - Oasis 2. Fade Away - Oasis 3. Bring It On Down - Oasis 4. Slide Away - Oasis 5. Whatever - Oasis Roll on Wednesday!

I'd have to say the Manics 'Know Your Enemy'. Barring a few tracks, I hate this band. Anyway, I had a record token, and I quite liked that 'So Why So Sad' tune that was in the charts at the time. Bought the album, and hated it from the word go. 'Miss Europa Disco Dancer', what is that all about?!!! Funny thing is, I took it to One Up to sell it, and they wouldn't take it, as they had so many copies!!! Although, on the upside, at the same time I bought the album, I bought the latest 'Q' magazine, and noticed that I had won 15 for having a question printed in Shaun Ryder's 'Cash For Questions' My question was: "Who were cooler, you or the Roses?" to which Ryder so insightfully replied: "I'd say if we was playing chess and we swapped one or two of them for one or two of ours, then we'd still be cooler. Although I've got to admit that Mani is way cooler than the bald-headed one or the one that couldn't play keyboards". Easiest 15 quid ever made! Cheers Mr Ryder!

1. To Be Someone (Didn't We Have A Nice Time?) - The Jam 2. Me And The Farmer - The Housemartins 3. Turn Up The Sun - Oasis 4. She's So Fine - Ride 5. The Outdoor Type - The Lemonheads

Cambridge City min, c'mon, support your local team!

1. When You Dance You Can Really Love - Neil Young 2. And I'm Aching - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club 3. Art School - The Jam 4. Shadows Fall - The Coral 5. I Want You - Inspiral Carpets feat. Mark E. Smith

They'll be dancing on the streets of Total Network Solutions as we speak!

Was it Atletico Madrid at Villa Park? I remember Vieri playing for them. Or were Atletico defeated? Was it Lazio?

I'm gonna guess someone like Mehmet Scholl?

Oh aye too right! That would've been a disaster if we signed Stevie Crawford. A 3 year deal at 3k a week, they're welcome to him! Just shows you what a great player Craig Brewster is!

They'll feature in future editions, but thank you! I'm gonna cheat now, but in true copy and paste stylee here's my last playlist on the old MP3. A one-off, I promise! Columbia - Oasis 24 HR Party People - Happy Mondays Taste - Ride Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division There Is A Light That Never Goes Out - The Smiths Slow Hands - Interpol Soon - My Bloody Valentine Hey Hey, My My (Into The Black) - Neil Young Ceremony - New Order Marquee Moon - Televison Here Comes The Sun - The Beatles Ever Fallen In Love - The Buzzcocks I'll Feel A Whole Lot Better - The Byrds Sproston Green - The Charlatans Had Me A Real Good Time - The Faces Man In The Cornershop - The Jam Where Have All The Good Times Gone - The Kinks There She Goes - The La's Let It Bleed - The Rolling Stones All Or Nothing - The Small Faces Do Nothing - The Specials New Age - The Velvet Underground Baba O'Reilly - The Who

A couple thrashings of the Arabs and Killie, just to get one right up Lee Miller and Kris Boyd, although Miller probably won't give a toss, because that move reeks of money reasons, and not football reasons.

For me, the full version of 'I Am The Resurrection' by The Stone Roses. Reni's drum intro, Mani's plodding bass, Ian Brown's Manc drawl and Squire's jangly guitar, all building up to a glorious chorus, and when you think the song's all over you then hear arguably the greatest instrumental finale to any album. Three top musicians at the peak of their powers.

Oh oh! Being a bit of the football anorak type, if anyone's got any more trivia, I'll be more that willing to give it a go. One I gave to Narc was, how many players can you name who have played in the top leagues of Spain, Italy and England at some point in their careers?

1. Wrote For Luck - Happy Mondays 2. Keep What Ya Got - Ian Brown 3. Regret - New Order 4. Yer Blues - The Beatles 5. Maybe I'm Amazed - The Faces "Ohhh right, this one you may well know and you may not know it and if you don't know it, I really don't know where you've been, so you should know the tune, here we go...."

I must admit, I can't stand all that 'C'MON TIM!' rubbish, between points, buy hey, fair play to the geezer for coming back every year. You've got to use every possible thing to your advantage, and if he gets geed up by the crowd etc, then fair cop. Personally I would love to see him win Wimbledon. I don't think he will, and I won't be losing any sleep over it, but give the boy his dues. So would you rather him say 'Yep, I accept that Federer and Hewitt are better than me, so I won't bother turning up'???? And anyway, getting to the Quarter Finals of Wimbledon is hardly an achievement representative of a loser. That sounds like a 'tryer' to me.

1. Who Are You? - The Who 2. One Of These Days - Doves 3. C'mere - Interpol 4. Cloudburst - Oasis 5. One To Another - The Charlatans "Wake up there's a new day dawning, I think I'll take a little walk for a while...."

1. I Need You - The Stands 2. Do The Dog - The Specials 3. I Can't Sleep - The La's 4. I'm So Bored With The USA - The Clash 5. Slight Return - The Bluetones

I think the Doves album is a corker, with 'Black And White Town' being my single of '05 so far. The Coral album's great, as is the Oasis record. Haven't bought British Sea Power yet, just the 'Please Stand Up' single, but by all acccounts, that's ace as well!

At the end of last year I phoned up a wifie who interviewed me for a career job to inform her that I was rejecting their offer and accepting another one. I wanted to leave it on good terms and so, you could imagine my surprise when I was told that I had 'wonderful sparkling eyes' that were 'full of life'! Complimentary, but very strange all the same!!!! Another one, you get the best one-liners in local football I find. I was playing football up in Peterhead years ago, when this big ginger loon, shouts at me fae the sidelines: "Hoy! Number two! Is that a nose or a pool cue?" To which I politely replied: "A pool cue. But at least I've nae got ginger pubes!"