Time Machine

What about: "Hemmin! Get oot ma road, I'm trying to get a suntan!"

Standing up in my cot and seeing a cat outside on the window ledge peering through!! At least I hope it was a cat! Haha!

That's a popular choice with me min! Dinna feel that you've got to justify yourself! That's a top tune!

Yeah, of course! But you might've definitely slashed your ********, had you not had such a Smiths fixation!!!!!

I just like a good tune, but there's certainly a few bands that I could listen to and never get tired of! Who knows, Kap, if you never had The Smiths, you might've been a pro g****r!!!!!!!!

No 'Squirrel and G-Man' though!!!

Spike Milligan's 'I Told You I Was Ill' did make me chuckle! Mine: "Decent right peg, but nae engine"

I am aware of the record, was never gonna pay the full price for it, although noticed it 2nd hand in One-Up!! Might hae to gie it a whirl so to speak!!! "JOE! He knows not to touch the television!"

FA Cup final's on the TV then loons!

"We've been with fat lady wrestlers, and Germans in trenches, and teachers who speak to themselves"

Ask Tony Wilson what he thinks of Ryder! A poetic genius! He's magic, a street urchin telling stories through his fried brain! That album is full of him just trying to put real life events into words in his own unique way! It just had to be a Russell Grant book though eh!!!! Haha! "Son, I'm thirty, I only went with your mother coz she's dirty, and I don't have a decent bone in me, what you get is just what you see yeah"

Narc, although arguably, the finest 'lyrics' come from the track 'Russell' in which, as legend has it, the Mondays had written a track with no title or lyrics whilst recording their John Cale produced debut. So, Mr Shaun William Ryder picks up the nearest book, which happens to be a Russell Grant horoscope book, and sings out the blurb on the back cover!!!!! The song starts: "Hold onto your hats, this is the book that you've been waiting for, the one that tells you everything you need to know to help you understand..." And continues (this is where it becomes legendary!): "There are twelve chapters, one for each and divided into the following....sections" Pure magic!!!

Hahahaha! Of course! That whole album is hilarious! From the opener 'Kuff Dam' (read it backwards) to the closing 'Cob 20'!! 'Enery makes me laugh every time! "The International bus has come to pick up you and uuuuuus" Please! Anyone else heard it?!!

I think 'Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now' is one of the funniest tracks ever! Mr Android beat me to it! "Why do I waste valuable time, with people who I'd much rather...kick in the eye?" !!!!!

Yeah, I watched it live on Sky News. He's one of the greatest speakers I've ever heard, whether you agree with him or not. I don't know enough about him or his politics to be honest. It was brilliant tv, definitely. Especially as there was no script! Saying to the Senator that their case was full of 'schoolboy howlers' was highly amusing!!!!!

A Texan In Peterheid! Now there's a quality band name!!! It's right up there with 'M I and The Psychadelic Spectacles', 'The Fantastic Fred Funk Five' and 'My Father's Wine Cellar' eh, Narc!

Noticed quite a few mentions of 'Ceremony' by New Order. Great tune! Am I right in saying that Ian Curtis penned this, or was this solely New Order's? Think it was the former.

See the bit in the car park? "I know Pete, WAY more than you do!" And my daddy's bigger than your daddy ye twat! Was gonna say 'get a grip', but he's probably walked off with a tidy wee sum out of it, the toerag! Haha!

I'm not gonna listen to it before I buy it! Just like the olden days!

Yeah, I watched it too! The guy was a complete nutter that made the documentary! Doherty's on another planet altogether.

I know a crowd of folk who went down, said it was magic! Couldn't get tickets unfortunately! Ach well, Hampden next month! Bought 'Lyla' today, I really like it. B-sides are good too. 'Eyeball Tickler' is a Gem effort, great riff, hundred mile an hour stuff, back to the old school! 'Won't Let You Down' is a Liam effort, very Beatles/Lennon - esque as you can imagine! All good!

Yeah, I watched that last night Kapranos! It was really funny, I was like 'Is that Mutu? Nah, can't be!' Him and Razor wrestling in the mud! How fat is he! Didn't realise that he was an alky. Gazza looks like a little lost boy these days.

Frankly, Mr Shankly, that's a rather good bunch of tunes!

I didn't know you were going to T, min! You'll never survive without Sir and Big for a weekend!

Great tune!