Alvin Starclusk

"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear JESUS Happy Birthday to you" "What is your major malfunction Private Pile" Brilliant. Dr Strangelove is still the king of war-related films though.

Because BT are a bunch of charlatan cunts who don't seem to realise that they no longer have a monopoly and so continue to provide *the* worst customer service imaginable. I'm currently trying to find a loophole to get me out of their pathetic joke of a mobile service. Much shouting has been done.

Why do they have to preview these things months in advance? Just been reading up about it and I want one RIGHT NOW!!! Bastards.

Seconded. And Thirded. And Fourthed. They are truely one of the most loathsome *things*' date=' never mind bands, that have ever invaded my existence. I think they're much worse than M People (although it's a close call with The Lighthouse Family). If you doubt how much I mean this, I quote from myself: The Killers - Shed Seven-lite Gwen Stefani's solo career (apart from the current single, which I find quite amusing) Rooster - INXS-lite

How about these...http://www.novelty-t-shirts.net/global-hypercolor.asp T-shirts that let everone know when your armpits were sweating like a bitch.

Yeah, from what I remember Barbarella is a piece of shite. And how can it be a sin to watch a program called Human Mutants which features conjoined twins and kids born as mermaids? Answer: it can't.

The freezer thing is the absolute, tried absolutely every other possibility, drive has no warranty left on it *LAST THING* you should try. It's actually only effective in sorting a stuck read/write head and will give you just enough time to recover the data before the condensation makes absolutely sure your drive is destroyed.

If the main policy of UKIP was making more television of such high quality, with such superb production values and entertainment rating, I'd probably be forced to vote for them. But as it is, their xenophobia and racism would probably swing me against them.

And the Lord said unto Alvin Starclusk "let there be negative scene points", and it was so.

I expected to be Liberal Democrats and I got......Liberal Democrats. Was a very close call with the Greens though (ain't gonna happen). I'm delighted to say I scored a mighty -34 for the Tories, and a mere +2 for Labour.

It does if you time it exactly right and jump on the brake pedal. Used to do that all the time to scare the shit of neds in their souped-up Saxos, but now I have a good car, so don't want to risk it (note: if someone rearends you, it automatically comes off *their* insurance, as it shows they were not paying enough attention). Today I was sitting at lights, which turned green. I stayed there. The bloke behind me tooted his horn and waved his arms at me. Seemingly some people are incapable of seeing a fire engine with lights blazing coming from an angle of more than 20 degrees from straight ahead. But *THE* most annoying drivers on the road are...everyone that isn't me.

They cannot possibly, conceivably in any way shape or form be worse than the bunch of Northern Irish CHARLATANS that run their BT Mobile helpdesk. 2 and a half months after my SIM card fucked up and I *still* can't send text messages, despite at least 2 phone calls a week. And this after it took them three weeks to get it so I could make calls from the phone, another fortnight before I could receive texts....

Downfall is great (once you get past the slightly Channel 5 acting standards and the...ahem...rewriting of history (Himmler was a nice bloke???)). But Mel, you'd probably not like it, it's not exactly Miss Congeniality 3

Yep, Jamie McAllister is shite. Want him back?

I got them in Asda once. They were disgusting though. There are loads of little shops selling overpriced ingredients round the corner from my flat in Bruntsfield.

Nah, don't think that's it. It was completely pyramidal (I'm making up some great pyramid related words here). I sense an unnecessary trip to Safeway tomorrow...

It's annoying the piss out of me... Does anyone remember the name of that stuff you used to get (possibly still do, I haven't looked yet) that was chocolate sauce that you poured over ice cream and it solidified? It came in a kind of pyramidy bottle, the lid of which I *think* was like a snow cap on a mountain (which led me to believe it may have been called Magic Mountain, but I can find no mention of it on the interweb, which contains *everything* there has ever been in the world).

Brilliant! Aled Jones posts on his own forum...*goes away and signs up*

And I stand by my previous prediction (sorry Jake)

Yes, let's hope so (although I hold out not that much hope). Am *sort of* looking forward to going to Hampden tomorrow, but there's a fair degree of trepidation. I kind of wish we hadn't pissed them off last week now...

Scott Mills is a cunt.

Stayed in one of this chain's hostels in Berlin, it was fine if all you're looking for is somewhere to crash at the end of the day, and being next to the Hauptbahnhof, is pretty much bang on the city centre. Be careful which parts of the Englischer Garten you walk through btw, as part of it is a nudist colony, and the sight of several hundred octogenarian Germans with their lads out is nae pleasant.