Alvin Starclusk

You're almost certainly disqualified for asking where.

That's perfectly normal. And I maintain that Baros is a lady-man hottie.

Maybe... ;P No, I just think she is - and always has been - awful.

1) Lois from Malcolm in the Middle. 2) Sarah Smith from the Channel 4 news (even though I *know* she's minging) 3) Fiona Bruce. Oh the things I'd do... 4) Noel Fielding. I'm a straight man, but I would. 5) Milan Baros. See 4) 6) The woman on Click Online on BBC News 24. I can't explain this one *AT ALL*, but I find her strangely alluring. I think this be she: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/click_online/4252012.stm

Err, and Mariella Frostrup. I'd do awful things to her.

RIGHT! 1) Jo Whiley isn't attractive, and never has been and 2) she *used* to have good taste in music, when Steve Pacamac was spoon-feeding her it, but since she got a day time slot, she's shown herself to be a complete BBC Radio 1 - I'll play anything that spews out the rectum of 50 Cent/Eminem/Moron 5/Jimmy The Cunting Fuckface (OK, this isn't true. I'd love it if she played a band called Jimmy The Cunting Fuckface on daytime radio) - WHORE. I'm going to start another thread about people you're bizarrely attracted to....

RUDI! RUDI! RUDI! I'm almost getting to the point where I genuinely believe Hearts can win the league...

Err, on the off chance I've also emailed Bayern Munich to see if they'll get a top signed for me, that I can auction off to make shitloads of money. I doubt very much they will, but let's see what happens. It's probably worth noting, I've never done a benevolent thing in my life.

Right, first off, thanks to everyone that's sponsored me to do something I was going to do anyway (i.e. drink shitloads of beer). Secondly, I truly appreciate you making my trip (more) worthwhile. Thirdly, the good news is, my travelling companion has agreed to put in the same amount as I do, so we're looking at increasingly stupid (but worthy) amounts of money to charitable causes. Good on yer.

I'll get it taken in front of a proper Munich land mark if you specifically ask (before Tuesday) for an extra 2.

I'll also stick 2 in for every game that Hearts win (from the beginning of the season until the end of the season) - so I'm 14 down already.

When I say "at very worst", I'm prepared to go WAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY above that.

OK. I figure at very worst I'll be 100 out of pocket (and I'd like you very much to double up, therefore I'll be 100 out of pocket and folk'll have put in 100 to match me). I'm quite happy to cover that, and I'd like to think that no-one would have an objection to doubling up. So yes, I'm up for it.

SHALL I DRINK A BEER FOR YOU??? OK. In a moment of drunken madness, I've set myself a challenge. I'm on a week and a half long holiday from work (for the first time in nearly two years time) to Munich (and possibly Prague) for Oktoberfest, as of Tuesday. As of right now, anyone that sends me a PM with their full name, I will 1) drink a beer for you, 2) take a photo of me in either Munich or Prague (or maybe Frankfurt if everything goes wrong) with your name in front of me and a stein (and to prove I'm not fucking around, it'll either be a different beer or a different t-shirt) and 3) donate 1 to a charity of my choosing (which will be Cot Death-related). Feel free to double up what I'm offering. Go fucking nuts. I'm quite ugly, but don't let that stop you.

and (HELL YEAH!) Next purchases will be Nathan Barley and a Johnny Cash prison DVD (if there are any about).

Moron 5. I could go into what I'd like to do to them, but I feel it would land me in prison.

A daddy long legs' date=' yes (i.e. the kind we get in Britain). A daddy long legs SPIDER (note that they are two different things), has 8. [url']http://www.snopes.com/critters/wild/longlegs.htm

Fuck me it looks suave!!!: http://www.sony.co.uk/view/ShowArticle.action?section=en_GB_Products&article=1123689905907&site=odw_en_GB

That book has one of the finest first chapters I've ever read. Although Ronnie Corbett's autobiography probably just beats it. I'm deadly serious.

Good album, but not a classic by any stretch. You heard any Super_Collider stuff? "Darn Cold Way of Loving" was a brilliant song, but the album has to rate as one of the worst I've ever bought. And it was about 2.50 in Canadania.