Le Stu Posted February 17, 2010 Report Share Posted February 17, 2010 My mate just crashed his moterbike through the window of the local indian takeaway......he's in a pretty bad wayit left him in a korma. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scootray Posted February 17, 2010 Report Share Posted February 17, 2010 I bet the owners had to tikka second look to actually believe what had happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted February 18, 2010 Report Share Posted February 18, 2010 So I was raping this chick the other day, and she kept shouting "Please! think of my kids!"Filthy bitch. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Stu Posted February 18, 2010 Report Share Posted February 18, 2010 What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?Homeless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TelecasterSam Posted February 25, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 25, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TelecasterSam Posted February 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 26, 2010 Spring will soon be here !!!Deer have been spotted frolicking in the fields ... Yep, won't be long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted February 26, 2010 Report Share Posted February 26, 2010 ^^ like it!I went to the pub the other day and spotted Mark Mcghee at the bar looking down in the dumpsWent over and asked what was wrong.'I set up a training session today, put a load of cones out for the players to dribble round' he said'Nothing wrong with that' I said'Except the cones won 3-0' he replied. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted February 26, 2010 Report Share Posted February 26, 2010 Spring will soon be here !!!Deer have been spotted frolicking in the fields ... Yep, won't be long. I'm sorry, I just don't get it. It's not often I don't get a joke, but that's going right over my head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TelecasterSam Posted February 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 26, 2010 I'm sorry, I just don't get it. It's not often I don't get a joke, but that's going right over my head.LOL.....The snow is nearly over the Deer's heads !!.... hence it doesn't look like spring is nearly here, does it ??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Stu Posted February 27, 2010 Report Share Posted February 27, 2010 An ice cream man was found dead on the floor in the back of his truck covered in flakes and 100's of thousands.Police think he topped himself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted February 27, 2010 Report Share Posted February 27, 2010 LOL.....The snow is nearly over the Deer's heads !!.... hence it doesn't look like spring is nearly here, does it ???It can still snow in spring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woolies Posted February 27, 2010 Report Share Posted February 27, 2010 HEADLINE: "Joke Fails Under Analysis"It can still snow in spring.In other news, chickens probably don't have the brain development necessary to formulate what we would call real motives and are also most likely unaware what constitutes a road. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TelecasterSam Posted February 27, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2010 It can still snow in spring.YES....but its not nearly so deep, normally, as in the picture, is it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted February 27, 2010 Report Share Posted February 27, 2010 Guess it depends where it is... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paranoid Posted February 27, 2010 Report Share Posted February 27, 2010 This thread sucks now... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattJimF Posted February 27, 2010 Report Share Posted February 27, 2010 Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women. Mixing the 'Clio' and the 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'. It comes in pink, the average male car thief won't be able to find it let alone turn it on, even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it. Rumour has it though that it leaks transmission fluid once a month and can be a real cunt to start in the morning.George Clooney is to star in a new film about Gary Glitter, called... 'Oh? She's Eleven' 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 27, 2010 Report Share Posted February 27, 2010 Ah shit.I just wrote an email to my girlfriend saying I fancy a hot shag tonight and I accidentally sent it to my gran.Means I'll have to drive to Devon now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 1, 2010 Report Share Posted March 1, 2010 What's the hardest thing about having a screaming baby in your arms?Outrunning the police. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christy Posted March 2, 2010 Report Share Posted March 2, 2010 How much does shampoo cost in London?Pantene. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted March 3, 2010 Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 LOL.....The snow is nearly over the Deer's heads !!.... hence it doesn't look like spring is nearly here, does it ???So, it wasn't really a joke - you just thought it was funny that it's meant to nearly be Spring, but there's a lot of snow?Am I being a complete spaz here? I don't get it.So as to not ruin the joke thread - here's one of my all time favourites:Two fish in a tank, one says to the other............"Do you know how to drive this thing?" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted March 3, 2010 Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 Am I being a complete spaz here?Yes.Think of it like the opening few jokes of have I got news for you. A simple joke with a visual punch line. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted March 3, 2010 Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 What's the definition of "Too late"?Getting a free coat hanger when buying baby clothes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted March 3, 2010 Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 What's the definition of "Too late"?Getting a free coat hanger when buying baby clothes.That's the first one that made me physically chuckle for a while.Great stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted March 3, 2010 Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 Yes.Think of it like the opening few jokes of have I got news for you. A simple joke with a visual punch line.Right. Finally, I've got it. I don't think I've ever needed a joke explained to me in that much detail before - the internet doesn't work too well for jokes like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted March 3, 2010 Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 How much does shampoo cost in London?Pantene.Superb!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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