AMY SAWERS @ the Northsound awards

[Biz]

ATTENTION ATTENTION ALL SLUTS

Cyberpiper and his mate Joakim fae Sweden are travelling over from Luxembourg for the gig on Sunday night in Drummonds, I'm sure they would like a bit of local groupie action, feel free to post up pics so they know what to expect in advance - , cheers Biz.

[Bodast]

Gooo Sprinkles!

[Hoss]

Gooo Sprinkles!

Quote of the year!!

[Hoss]

This thread is famous.

I incoherently slurred something to Amy Sawers and co last night in Drummonds about sparkles and bearded men. Help me.

Did she reply? i goddam still goddam dont goddam know goddam who goddam she goddam is!!! GODDAM! one thing tho.... it aint her in the pic near the start of this thread...im 99% sure o that... besides when i came on this she scarpered. If i was as desirable as she made out...id have received an e-mail or private message DONT YA THINK FOLKS?????

[Bodast]

Did she reply? i goddam still goddam dont goddam know goddam who goddam she goddam is!!! GODDAM! one thing tho.... it aint her in the pic near the start of this thread...im 99% sure o that... besides when i came on this she scarpered. If i was as desirable as she made out...id have received an e-mail or private message DONT YA THINK FOLKS?????

She does come across as a bit shy though.

[Biz]

Yeah, a shy slut who lost interest when she found out he had a partner, wonder if she hooked up with Bob or any other interested parties.

[Biz]

Anyway - back to the groupie action - Cyber sluts or women with a penchant for dressing up in costumes welcome, but let's not limit the possibilities, here's a wee poem which aptly describes the sort of contender in with a chance...

John Cooper Clarke (1949-)

(I Married A) Monster From Outer Space

The milky way she walks around

All feet firmly off the ground

Two worlds collide, two worlds collide

Here comes the future bride

Gimme a lift to the lunar base

I wanna marry a monster from outer space

I fell in love with an alien being

[she had a head as big as a TV screen]

Whose skin was jelly, whose teeth were green

[A glutinous complexion with a day-glow sheen]

She had the big bug eyes and the death-ray glare

Feet like water-wings, purple hair

I was over the moon, I asked her back to my place

And then I married the monster from outer space

The days were numbered, the nights were spent

In a rent-free furnished oxygen tent

Where a cyborg chef served up moonbeams

Done super-rapid on a laser beam

I needed nutrition to keep up the pace

When I married the monster from outer space

But when we went walking tentacle in hand

You could sense that the earthlings would not understand

They'd go nudge nudge when we got on the bus

Saying "It's extra-terrestial, not like us;

And it's bad enough with another race,

But fuck me... a monster! from outer space?"

In this kind of atmosphere love went lame

She took a flare to from where she came

I read all the papers, looked up the stars

"Uranus is active and so is Mars"

My horoscope was horrible, told me to my face -

Avoid monsters from outer space

In a cybernetic fit of rage

She pissed off to another age

She lives in 1999

With her new boyfriend, a blob of slime

Each time I see a translucent face

I remember Errrrxxzztt from outer space.

[Hoss]

She does come across as a bit shy though.

i just wanna know if she is who she says she is thats all... cos i have theories if she isnt. HAS ANYONE MET THE GIRL IN THE PHOTO OR SEEN HER ABOUT??? (heh heh this threads turned its self on its head and inside out and back to front if ya get me?)

[Jim Stax]

I'm just enjoing the thread due to seeing Amy's name on these boards as much as I have lately:up:

[Hoss]

I'm just enjoing the thread due to seeing Amy's name on these boards as much as I have lately:up:

Aye maybe sparkles was my creation to get the sawers name to the masses....?? the wonder of PR or the deranged mind of a genius?? or perhaps its all legit? who knows? who cares??? ?( .....phasing out..... over and out.....

[Biz]

Och this canna be the end of the Sparkles fiasco

I am dying to hear all the juicy updates on this story as I'd like to know more about the groupie scene in Aberdeen, I'm not expecting any Rock Bitch type stuff, but it would be nice to know that a local musician got a nice surprise at a gig. I was offered a blow job for £1 by a toothless anorexic hooker, but had to inform her that even if she paid £10, the one eyed convict would be staying firmly put, zipped behind the jail doors.

He he he, ye canna mak stuff like this up... onyway, trying to avoid boring farts in The Music Hall, I popped into Moshulu where two lesbotics were pole dancing together, kissing and carressing as they slithered provocatively round the shaft of metal, I wished they had brough their older sisters or (quite tasty and slightly tasty, for their age, and their arse looks pretty good in jeans ) mums, as teenage nymphettes are nae my scene, but had they been a few years older I would have scolded them, saying "Bad girls, GO TO MY ROOM " and been the sasidge in their wifie bap and indeed baps, I even come wi a plentiful supply of my ain " Special sauce ", anyway back to the gig...RHL were playing accoustics so I stood in the rain for a while till The Little Kicks played their magic set,after that : ( aye that is their name -pronounced colon open bracket, fnurr, he he he, even that sounds dirty on this thread, Marty Keneda is a man of many talents but singing isnae one o them but he writes interesting music which is performed with a drummer and two cute chicks with keyboards slung over their shoulders attached to laptops on the floor, Marty kicks the hale jing jang caboodleinto the 22nd century with his performance, if he was a washing machine he would be on bile waash headed for a far off land in a freaky looking spaceship ...

And another thing, I have been told that my posts on here are nae funny ,so I have started a thread in which you can vote for more or less of me speaking shite.

If I was gay , a certain band manager would get it in the mouth, but only to shut the fat poofy looking hair product reliant blether that he is up.

Whatchya think Sparkles? several hot chicks really like him, but even though he bought a porn mag with pictures of auld trouts with floory coapy baps, I am still nae convinced he isnae the full bufty, any groupies oot there ever have sex with him? I am on a mission to find out why he always hugs blokes, I've even caught him checking out my arse, and that jist winna dae, unless I get some sort of financial reward, och he is a star though, so full bufterangus or nae I do like him, but dinna get yer hopes up, I definately prefer Heather to Pete, cheers ( and remember to vote yay or Nae if you can be bothered reading more of my namby pamby shiteless posts ) , Biz

[Guest DustyDeviada]

I am dying to hear all the juicy updates on this story as I'd like to know more about the groupie scene in Aberdeen, I'm not expecting any Rock Bitch type stuff, but it would be nice to know that a local musician got a nice surprise at a gig. I was offered a blow job for 1 by a toothless anorexic hooker, but had to inform her that even if she paid 10, the one eyed convict would be staying firmly put, zipped behind the jail doors.

He he he, ye canna mak stuff like this up... onyway, trying to avoid boring farts in The Music Hall, I popped into Moshulu where two lesbotics were pole dancing together, kissing and carressing as they slithered provocatively round the shaft of metal, I wished they had brough their older sisters or (quite tasty and slightly tasty, for their age, and their arse looks pretty good in jeans ) mums, as teenage nymphettes are nae my scene, but had they been a few years older I would have scolded them, saying "Bad girls, GO TO MY ROOM " and been the sasidge in their wifie bap and indeed baps, I even come wi a plentiful supply of my ain " Special sauce ", anyway back to the gig...RHL were playing accoustics so I stood in the rain for a while till The Little Kicks played their magic set,after that : ( aye that is their name -pronounced colon open bracket, fnurr, he he he, even that sounds dirty on this thread, Marty Keneda is a man of many talents but singing isnae one o them but he writes interesting music which is performed with a drummer and two cute chicks with keyboards slung over their shoulders attached to laptops on the floor, Marty kicks the hale jing jang caboodleinto the 22nd century with his performance, if he was a washing machine he would be on bile waash headed for a far off land in a freaky looking spaceship ...

And another thing, I have been told that my posts on here are nae funny ,so I have started a thread in which you can vote for more or less of me speaking shite.

If I was gay , a certain band manager would get it in the mouth, but only to shut the fat poofy looking hair product reliant blether that he is up.

Whatchya think Sparkles? several hot chicks really like him, but even though he bought a porn mag with pictures of auld trouts with floory coapy baps, I am still nae convinced he isnae the full bufty, any groupies oot there ever have sex with him? I am on a mission to find out why he always hugs blokes, I've even caught him checking out my arse, and that jist winna dae, unless I get some sort of financial reward, och he is a star though, so full bufterangus or nae I do like him, but dinna get yer hopes up, I definately prefer Heather to Pete, cheers ( and remember to vote yay or Nae if you can be bothered reading more of my namby pamby shiteless posts ) , Biz

Just more evidence of why you need to stay.

[Biz]

you might think so

but certain old, baldy, "Respected members " of the "local music community" do not agree, and in fact have asked me to desist, so I decided to put it to a vote, but due to lack of interest and Big Brother type shennanigans, I guess I'll never know whether to stay or go, och I ken if I stay there will be trouble, and nae doot if I go there will be double, but I have always fought for the right to speak shite and this has made me more determined than ever to find out if I should fuck off with my tail between my legs, or listen to my Myspace friends who are very supportive, especially that lovely French bint, cor! she could blow MY bagpipes ANYTIME.

[Guest DustyDeviada]

Always thought that line was a bit daft. If you are going to get into twice as much trouble by going, surely you should stay?

[Biz]

8129 hits

and counting... Sparkles Sparkled and injected a much needed break from the often rubbish comments on here. I canna help but still be up for more of the potty mouthed bints comments, I think she should get an extra special award at the next Fudge awards for giving Aberdeen musicians the hope that some tasty bint in a poncho will accost them and make being in a band worthwhile for a change.

Being in a band is a very expensive hobby, so if you want laid, you'd be cheaper holing up in a den of iniquity in Amsterdam with 2 hookers and a bag of donuts for 10 years or however long it takes them to perfect their hoop- la technique.

Come back Sparkles, we need a bit of cheering up in this place.

[psydoll]

Biz, go to bed.

[RossP]

... ah them were the days eh?

Surprised no-one picked this up as an idea for a sitcom

[Guest DustyDeviada]

Surely we should have an "Aberdeen-music.com Gold" forum, where threads as ace as this one can be immortalised forever.

[Neil]

Surely we should have an "Aberdeen-music.com Gold" forum, where threads as ace as this one can be immortalised forever.

Funny you say this because lots of the large online forums have something to cater for this. Usually something like "Greatest Theads Ever" forum. Think it's worth having something like this on here?

This was a cracker of a thread, I have to agree.

[stuartmaxwell]

"starfall to headlinine..."

"are fudge ready for weapon?"

"is lucifer at fault?"

were highlights

[Guest DustyDeviada]

Funny you say this because lots of the large online forums have something to cater for this. Usually something like "Greatest Theads Ever" forum. Think it's worth having something like this on here?

This was a cracker of a thread, I have to agree.

Would just be good for new members to read some classic threads, and also for people like me to reminisce, had a good chuckle this morning about Sparkles and her poncho.

Of course there will be different view about which threads are classic and which aren't but hey, this place ain't a democracy.

[TR!ΔNGL€ T€€TH]

You'd be a fool not to enjoy this thread.

[Chris]

Would just be good for new members to read some classic threads, and also for people like me to reminisce, had a good chuckle this morning about Sparkles and her poncho.

Of course there will be different view about which threads are classic and which aren't but hey, this place ain't a democracy.

Some sites do it based on page views. It could also be linked into the rating system.

[Camie]

Can't be bothered reading this all but what was this thread about and why was it so great?

[TR!ΔNGL€ T€€TH]

Can't be bothered reading this all but what was this thread about and why was it so great?

Pffft, just read the damn thread Camie.