Hog Posted April 30, 2005 Report Share Posted April 30, 2005 dandandandandandan...DAN!DAN!no' date=' he can't hear m...DAN!!![/quote']That was the best ever Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gumpy Posted April 30, 2005 Report Share Posted April 30, 2005 bono!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeinzHines Posted April 30, 2005 Report Share Posted April 30, 2005 Alan: Are you wearing Lynx?Dan: Well smelt, voodooAlan: (raises arm) Java..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frosty Jack Posted April 30, 2005 Report Share Posted April 30, 2005 dandandandandandan...DAN!DAN!no' date=' he can't hear m...DAN!!![/quote'] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hog Posted April 30, 2005 Report Share Posted April 30, 2005 BEST PIC EVER FROSTY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jake Wifebeater Posted April 30, 2005 Report Share Posted April 30, 2005 "What are you doing this afternoon, Jill? I know this CRACKING owl sanctuary" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NARC Posted April 30, 2005 Report Share Posted April 30, 2005 I like that astroturf stuff there. Basically zero-maintenance grass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NARC Posted April 30, 2005 Report Share Posted April 30, 2005 "Give him another series you swine!""Yeah give me another series you shit!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest treader. Posted April 30, 2005 Report Share Posted April 30, 2005 Alan: (to dan) So, we're going out for dinner, and it's quite funny because you sell quality bathrooms and I do quality radio.Geordie guy: Yeah, and I work in a petrol station.Alan: Yeah, you're not coming.and when he goes to the geordie guy's house and when he rings the doorbell some random huge fat bloke answers then just leaves then he gets a cup of beans with a sausage.Ace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lexicon Devil Posted April 30, 2005 Report Share Posted April 30, 2005 "Michael, don't you have a spoon?""Err there's on in the bathroom, but I have no use for it.""Anything can happen on live television - I have just shot a man. This is me, Alan Partridge knowing you, The Police, Ahaaa!""If it weren't for those telescopic dampeners the house would have wobbling like, an very rude house...I say telescopic dampeners, I mean rigid stays.""He said he laughed so hard he had Kenco coming out of his nostrils, then that made me laugh...But my nostrils were clear."So many nights wasted giving Partride Quotes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeinzHines Posted April 30, 2005 Report Share Posted April 30, 2005 Dans a fantastic man....he was asking me what mobile i had so i told him i had a motorola timeport...he said that saaaaaaaaaaad, you need to upgrade...so i said....you need to upgrade, to a new face.....(then the other quote about kenco coming out his nose) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marn Posted April 30, 2005 Report Share Posted April 30, 2005 "Crash! Bang! Wallop! What a video!"The bit where he drove to Dundee in his bare feet and ate the toblerones was class. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Marlin Posted April 30, 2005 Report Share Posted April 30, 2005 "Youve never had a lager, gin and tonic and Baileys Irish Cream chaser?""No.""You big girls bras!""Has it got a name, that drink?""Yeah, theyre called, errr, Ladyboys" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marn Posted April 30, 2005 Report Share Posted April 30, 2005 "He's got a kid he doesn't see........back of the net" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psydoll Posted April 30, 2005 Report Share Posted April 30, 2005 "Argh I'm confused! How long was I asleep for?""Five minutes Alan." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeinzHines Posted April 30, 2005 Report Share Posted April 30, 2005 I hate this thread...i have spent two years of my life stopping myself from constantly talking like alan partridge....now im doing it again.....Im 47...my girlfriend is 33....she is 14 years younger than me....back of the net....I once had a teacher called sweaty raphial....oh i just realised thats you aswellIve always thought that Lexus was the japanese mercades....And move and fire and move and fire....You have sheds that no-one is allowed into...and they are full of 20 foot chickens...and these chickens are scared...theyre like 'oohh why are we so massive' (episode featuring chris morris which makes it double amazing) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lexicon Devil Posted April 30, 2005 Report Share Posted April 30, 2005 The part where Michael goes on at length how he would kill a guy he knew with a military helicopter; Alan :"Who's Tom?"Michael:" Oh, just a mate!""Access to the kids, but they don't wanna' see me.""I fancy a chill-out room, beanbags and stuff.""Didn't know you were a raver Alan.""I'm not, I'm straight.""Statistically two of you are gay, so, rubber up!""Michael!? you threw a monkey into the sea because it ate your cigarettes?""Well, it bounced off a rock first like.""Think I will pop round to the BP garage for a mushroom slice""Michael you're hanging around with a man who uses a collective term for a singular object!"Hello Alan we're the tax people""No you're not""Yes, we are.""Oh come in then!""I have something to admit, while my legs were behind my head I released a short but potent gust, I apologise in advance in case it registers; because it is out there.""Excuse me; I think we have a guy violating the denim in the bar rule, chap of a bout five."the boy gets thrown out."Get you on the old jeans rule? Nazis!"Lynn, you make me sound like I had a nervous breakdown.""You did.""I know, but..."I made my own Alan partridge sketches, I talk like this man, I think I am obsessed. So many more quotes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HummerOfIntenseEvil Posted May 1, 2005 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2005 I made my own Alan partridge sketches' date=' I talk like this man, I think I am obsessed. So many more quotes[/quote']Yeah, "lovely stuff", "cabbages, don't like cabbages", "hh...hhh.whhoooooooo do you think you are?" and "alright, alright, it wasn't my fault you ate a testicle" have all become mainstays of my vocabulary.You've gotta laugh when you fall off a sofa... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
April Ethereal Posted May 1, 2005 Report Share Posted May 1, 2005 "How are clowns treated in South Africa? 'Cus they're neither one thing or the other. Are they allowed on buses?""You Farmers don't like outsiders, do you?""What do you mean by that?" "I've seen the big eared boys on farms. If you see a lovely family having a picnic in a field under a tree, you plough the family into the field, fill in the hole with cement, blow up the tree and gather the leaves to make a dress for your wife who's also your brother""Fernando, it's Saturday afternoonand you're spending it in bed with a girl. You're wasting your life" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TR!ΔNGL€ T€€TH Posted February 21, 2009 Report Share Posted February 21, 2009 Ace thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 22, 2009 Report Share Posted February 22, 2009 Does anyone here frequent the area around the Grammar rugby field?Theres one like, rectanglular piece of grass next to the hockey pitch that isnt used for much. Last weekish when it snowed, someone wrote, without leaving footprints, in huge like, 12ft letters"COCK PISSPARTRIDGEAHA" in the snowMassive, it was. Like Bono's bowl of Alpen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cloud Posted February 22, 2009 Report Share Posted February 22, 2009 Hmm, the guy who started the thread lives near the Grammar rugby field too. Or lived, anyway Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest treader. Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 You wouldnt know of course, being in Poland. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 The person who did the kid wearing denim quote got it wrong.It's..."There's a chap over there wearing jeans... chap of about 6...*turns around to face mother and child*Got you on the old jeans rule, did they? Nazis!*turns back around*... but with excellent facilities... as had the nazis."PS: "STOP GETTING BOND WRONG!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TR!ΔNGL€ T€€TH Posted February 23, 2009 Report Share Posted February 23, 2009 Oh, cook a cat... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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