Pet Hates!

[Teabags]

I've heard 'leaded' and 'unleaded' before.

I hope you cut your dick off just to strangle them with it.

[ca_gere]

I hope you cut your dick off just to strangle them with it.

If it was long enough I would. They wouldn't have even choked on it if I forced them to swallow it. It's like a button mushroom. Only more fungal.

[Shaki]

People who don't understand the concept of the "quiet zone" on trains. Particularly the posh English student cunts who got on at Leuchers and sat directly behind me and had the most irritating conversation in the most irritating accents known to man. There were five non quiet zone carriages with hundreds of spare seats!

I actually heard the girl, 'Becks', say at one point "I never bother ironing my clothes. I mean, imagine if everyone just stopped ironing their clothes and spent the time they would have spent doing that doing community work instead! The world would be a better place!".

I felt like turning round and saying "imagine I stopped quietly seething and spent the time I would have spent seething gouging your eyes out with my pen, biting your tongue off, shovin your tongue into your eye hole before furiously masturbating on your dead face". But I didn't, I just sat there seething thinking about doing that instead.

[Soda Jerk]

Pussied out!

[Christy]

People who don't understand the concept of the "quiet zone" on trains. Particularly the posh English student cunts who got on at Leuchers and sat directly behind me and had the most irritating conversation in the most irritating accents known to man. There were five non quiet zone carriages with hundreds of spare seats!

I actually heard the girl, 'Becks', say at one point "I never bother ironing my clothes. I mean, imagine if everyone just stopped ironing their clothes and spent the time they would have spent doing that doing community work instead! The world would be a better place!".

I felt like turning round and saying "imagine I stopped quietly seething and spent the time I would have spent seething gouging your eyes out with my pen, biting your tongue off, shovin your tongue into your eye hole before furiously masturbating on your dead face". But I didn't, I just sat there seething thinking about doing that instead.

Pet hate? Passive aggression.

[britheguy]

For mobiles, it's 5/3/3. Without fail.

Current pet hate is cunts who refer to plain, non-diet cola as "fat coke".

It isn't fat coke, you fat cunt. It's just coke, or cola. Nothing fat about it. You fat cunt.

Guilty as charged (I think). I have been known to mutter the phrase "full fat".

However, I'm not a cunt, nor fat (more stocky) actually.

Always find it strange when people get upset about others using terms, for example "fat coke". what's the big deal about that, do you always use the correct term for everything? Some might say the use of "plain" to describe cola is just as bad. "plain" could be used to describe many things, a stitch, some ground, etc but not cola.

[Guest idol_wild]

Guilty as charged (I think). I have been known to mutter the phrase "full fat".

However, I'm not a cunt, nor fat (more stocky) actually.

Always find it strange when people get upset about others using terms, for example "fat coke". what's the big deal about that, do you always use the correct term for everything? Some might say the use of "plain" to describe cola is just as bad. "plain" could be used to describe many things, a stitch, some ground, etc but not cola.

Nobody is upset. It's just a pet hate. A minor annoyance, if you will, innit.

New pet hate: People who use the word "innit". Cunts.

[Bigsby]

In a similar vein, folk who refer to ordinary Freeview (ie non Sky) as "council telly".

[Stroopy121]

In a similar vein, folk who refer to ordinary Freeview (ie non Sky) as "council telly".

Or tapwater as "council juice"

xx

[Bigsby]

Or tapwater as "council juice"

xx

Never heard that one.

Thankfully.

[Stroopy121]

Never heard that one.

Thankfully.

Seems to be more a Peterhead expression, so it'd be "cooncil juice" if I'm being pedantic

Pet hate: People being pedantic

xx

[Paranoid Android]

"Fat Coke" is a pet hate of mine too. My mum always says it,

[Jaaakkkeee]

A pet hate of mine is people who play up the 'You got a chipper and a diet coke? LOL. Why!? It's fatty anyway why not get normal coke ROFLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOL" It was funny once a time ago the first time it was ever said then as soon as it was said a second time it got annoying. I worked in a chipper and my 'boss' said this to a bloke and just totally embarrassed him. He can drink what he wants if he's paying for it.

But then again I do hate people who make a big fuss - and I mean making people go out and get if for them especially - of only having diet coke because they're watching their weight. Only to sit and munch cakes.

[FatHand]

But then again I do hate people who make a big fuss - and I mean making people go out and get if for them especially - of only having diet coke because they're watching their weight. Only to sit and munch cakes.

or a chipper

[KarmaTsunami]

Websites that are unnecessarily blocked by the uni.

Also, that horrible constricted feeling in my chest before presentations.

[Lemonade]

People who don't understand the concept of the "quiet zone" on trains. Particularly the posh English student cunts who got on at Leuchers and sat directly behind me and had the most irritating conversation in the most irritating accents known to man. There were five non quiet zone carriages with hundreds of spare seats!

I actually heard the girl, 'Becks', say at one point "I never bother ironing my clothes. I mean, imagine if everyone just stopped ironing their clothes and spent the time they would have spent doing that doing community work instead! The world would be a better place!".

I felt like turning round and saying "imagine I stopped quietly seething and spent the time I would have spent seething gouging your eyes out with my pen, biting your tongue off, shovin your tongue into your eye hole before furiously masturbating on your dead face". But I didn't, I just sat there seething thinking about doing that instead.

I was on a flight a couple of months back and I got stuck in front of three posh young studenty cunts (2 female, 1 male). It was 6am, I'd been up all night, having left for the airport at 3am, and I wanted to sleep on the plane, but this one bitch behind me literally yapped for the entire fucking flight without hardly pausing for breath. And it was all just utter cock-knobby bullshit about fucking skiing holiday, and stories about how drunk she was and how this one guy had taken photos of his bum with her camera on the skiing holiday while he was drunk. Probably on Pimms. And everything was "oh my god totally random". Repeat ad nasuem for four fucking hours. That's the closest I've ever come to killing someone.

[Teabags]

I was on a flight a couple of months back and I got stuck in front of three posh young studenty cunts (2 female, 1 male). It was 6am, I'd been up all night, having left for the airport at 3am, and I wanted to sleep on the plane, but this one bitch behind me literally yapped for the entire fucking flight without hardly pausing for breath. And it was all just utter cock-knobby bullshit about fucking skiing holiday, and stories about how drunk she was and how this one guy had taken photos of his bum with her camera on the skiing holiday while he was drunk. Probably on Pimms. And everything was "oh my god totally random". Repeat ad nasuem for four fucking hours. That's the closest I've ever come to killing someone.

[Alan Cynic]

In a similar vein, folk who refer to ordinary Freeview (ie non Sky) as "council telly".

Ohh...I do that...and 'council lager' for my pint of Tennents.

[Diesel]

I was on a flight a couple of months back and I got stuck in front of three posh young studenty cunts (2 female, 1 male). It was 6am, I'd been up all night, having left for the airport at 3am, and I wanted to sleep on the plane, but this one bitch behind me literally yapped for the entire fucking flight without hardly pausing for breath. And it was all just utter cock-knobby bullshit about fucking skiing holiday, and stories about how drunk she was and how this one guy had taken photos of his bum with her camera on the skiing holiday while he was drunk. Probably on Pimms. And everything was "oh my god totally random". Repeat ad nasuem for four fucking hours. That's the closest I've ever come to killing someone.

My moment of glory was at a preview showing of LOTR : The Two Towers at the Belmont.

My then-wife and I had scored tickets and as HUGE fans of the book and first movie, were really excited to see the 2nd epi.

Not nearly as excited as the "studenty cunts" who had the entire row behind us. One American girl directly behind me yapped loudly in a Jennifer Aniston meets Reese Witherspoon squeal all through the trailers and adverts.

When the movie started she went into overdrive "oh my gaaawd.....Oh My Gaaawd.....OH.... MY....GAAAWD.....EXCITEMENT OVERLOAD!!!!"

To which I calmly turned around, flashed her my best smile and said in a soft, polite but authorative voice.....

"Excuse me, my wife and I have been waiting a whole year to see this, so if it's not too much trouble could you please....(screams) SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!", rupturing bloodvessels in the eyeballs that barely managed to stay in their sockets.

She recoiled, let out a wee plaintive squeak and said simply..."yes, sir" to loud and rapturous applause from everyone else in the audience.

I was well proud, Mrs Diesel was mortified

[Jaaakkkeee]

People who watch films and ask stuff about it the whole way through - often missing answers to their questions by talking to much.

[Lemonade]

My moment of glory was at a preview showing of LOTR : The Two Towers at the Belmont.

My then-wife and I had scored tickets and as HUGE fans of the book and first movie, were really excited to see the 2nd epi.

Not nearly as excited as the "studenty cunts" who had the entire row behind us. One American girl directly behind me yapped loudly in a Jennifer Aniston meets Reese Witherspoon squeal all through the trailers and adverts.

When the movie started she went into overdrive "oh my gaaawd.....Oh My Gaaawd.....OH.... MY....GAAAWD.....EXCITEMENT OVERLOAD!!!!"

To which I calmly turned around, flashed her my best smile and said in a soft, polite but authorative voice.....

"Excuse me, my wife and I have been waiting a whole year to see this, so if it's not too much trouble could you please....(screams) SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!", rupturing bloodvessels in the eyeballs that barely managed to stay in their sockets.

She recoiled, let out a wee plaintive squeak and said simply..."yes, sir" to loud and rapturous applause from everyone else in the audience.

I was well proud, Mrs Diesel was mortified

That's the best thing I've ever heard. You sir are my hero

I told off a guy and a girl for talking during Son of Rambow - not just at select intervals, but throughout the entire film. They then spent the rest of the film trying to stare me out, I think the guy was going to start on me until the lights came up at the end and he realised that I was with about 6 other people.

When I went to see Revolutionary Road, these two assholes came in and set a few seats along from me, then spent the first twenty minutes loudly yapping and eating noisy sweeties, before proclaiming "this film's shite" and walking out. What a waste of 7, maybe if you'd paid attention to it instead of yapping you might have gotten into it you fucking ballsack.

[Soda Jerk]

Non-stick pans turning out to be the exact opposite. Complaint filed.

[Jaaakkkeee]

When I went to see Revolutionary Road, these two assholes came in and set a few seats along from me, then spent the first twenty minutes loudly yapping and eating noisy sweeties, before proclaiming "this film's shite" and walking out. What a waste of 7, maybe if you'd paid attention to it instead of yapping you might have gotten into it you fucking ballsack.

I went to the cinema once and a couple of little neds were a few seats along from me and my then girlfriend. I heard them talking loudly and I looked over and they went "You're in my seat". "Oh.." - checks ticket.. counts seats... "No we're not, I'm [ticket number]".

He then proceeds to tell me that's his seat. I just ignore him as the film starts. Him and his girlfriend throw a couple of sweets our way before shutting up. As the film finishes they fuck off as fast as they can. Point?

[Soda Jerk]

Talking in the cinema is just inexcusable.

I got stuck in the lift this morning for about 15 minutes with someone who can only be described as 'bubbly'. So yeah, 'bubbly' people. They can shit off.

[Guest idol_wild]

Talking in the cinema is just inexcusable.

I got stuck in the lift this morning for about 15 minutes with someone who can only be described as 'bubbly'. So yeah, 'bubbly' people. They can shit off.

They cried on you?

What the fuck did you say to them?