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Football, ever get sent off for something totally absurd?

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I played with a guy who got sent off for the following converstion with the ref:

Gary: What would you do if I called you a wanker?

Ref: I'd send you off.

Gary: What would you do if I thought you were a wanker?

Ref: You can think whatever you like, your thoughts are your thoughts.

Gary: Well I think you're a wanker.

Peep. Red card.

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Guest Exposure @ Lemon Tree
I played with a guy who got sent off for the following converstion with the ref:

Gary: What would you do if I called you a wanker?

Ref: I'd send you off.

Gary: What would you do if I thought you were a wanker?

Ref: You can think whatever you like, your thoughts are your thoughts.

Gary: Well I think you're a wanker.

Peep. Red card.

That is absolutely brilliant :laughing:

I had some pent up rage from weeks (well more like months) of frustration at the refs down at Goals on a Wednesday night. There was one in particular, called Chris or something, think he's in a band (only kidding, that's Christy from Edgar Prais....). The real one, was Alec or something, can't remember - he was Glaswegian (I've nothing against Glaswegians, just trying to distinguish him from the rest...).

Anyway, I knew I was not going to be back at football for a couple of months, so this probably led to me not caring what I said. I had been trying to keep it shut all game. I turned a guy (on a sixpence, Kaka-esque), and he hooked my trailing leg, and I hit the deck, flat on my face. Got up fully expecting a free-kick, but no, he apparently got the ball. The ball didn't fucking move! I think the following is about 85% accurate, the red mist had descended, so some of it may not be completely true:

Me: Is that nae a free-kick, like?

Ref: Get up, he got the ball.

Me: The ball hasn't fucking moved.

Twat: Play on.

Me: That is fucking shite, you're a fucking joke.

Twat: Come here.

Me (walking towards ref): Are you fucking joking, you are fucking shite.

(Yellow card shown)

Twat: Off you go.

Me: You're a fucking wanker.

(red card shown)

Twat: Keep going if you want.

Me: You are a fucking useless, cheating cunt.

Twat: Anymore?

Me: Aye, you do this every week. You are fucking shite. You're a fucking joke. etc etc

I got a 4 week ban.

It should have been more like 4 years, but hey, that's Goals for you.

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I got booked last night for getting wiped out by a flying elbow!! Dazed and a bit confused lying on the ground, I realised I got cracked in the face and my mouth was full of blood... natural reaction was to spit it out and check all my teeth were present.

Ref books me for spitting on the pitch.

I didn't even get a foul! Ref decided it was a drop ball. That's Strikers for you :(

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Guest Exposure @ Lemon Tree
I got booked last night for getting wiped out by a flying elbow!! Dazed and a bit confused lying on the ground, I realised I got cracked in the face and my mouth was full of blood... natural reaction was to spit it out and check all my teeth were present.

Ref books me for spitting on the pitch.

That's Strikers for you :(

I love the refs at Strikers and Goals.

I'm normally a pretty mild-mannered young man, but those fuckers wind me up something unreal.

When I quit 5's and went back to 11's I realised that I actually wasn't a raving psycho when I played football, just when I played at Goals and Strikers! The little bald ref at Strikers, called Keith, effectively sent me off because of what happened in an 11 side game months earlier, when my team mates all had a go at him (I actually hadn't said anything in that game to him at all).

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I once got booked in the amateur league for breaking the old 'steps' rule for goalies. The rule had recently been changed and I didn't know....I think I was still bouncing the ball to break contact, and that had been outlawed. Annoyingly I was a full-back and was only playing in goals because our goalie was in the cells for being drunk & disorderly the night before.

The ref warned me that if I did it again I'd be booked, but failed to tell me what I was actually doing wrong, so I did it again, got booked, and then he told me!

We lost 13-2, but we only had 9 men against the top of the division team, and I wasn't too unhappy as I only let in 6 goals and the other full-back let in seven (we'd agreed to do a half each). We ended up second at the end of the season and got promotion.

I've a feeling full-backs are the drummers of football!

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I got booked last night for getting wiped out by a flying elbow!! Dazed and a bit confused lying on the ground, I realised I got cracked in the face and my mouth was full of blood... natural reaction was to spit it out and check all my teeth were present.

Ref books me for spitting on the pitch.

I didn't even get a foul! Ref decided it was a drop ball. That's Strikers for you :(

Seems fair to me, ya big fuckin' softy.

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I was once sent off in a match as a result of a clash of heads. Me and the opposing teams centre-back both went up for a header at a corner and i caught his head with my eye-brow which duly exploded. He went down like a sack of spuds clutching his nose like a big fairy and because his face was covered with (my) blood the ref, who didn't see the incident clearly, assumed i'd chinned the guy and was well and truly conned. Despite protestations from both teams as to the fact that it was an accident and that i was covered in blood too the ref was insistent that i was getting my marching orders. Needless to say, kicking the guy in the guts on my way off the pitch for being a big drama queen didn't go down particularly well. A 3 match ban for violent conduct ensued.

Getting the congealed blood out of my eye was a chore as well :down:

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i got booked in my last match for a clatter of boots whilst going in for a 50/50 ball, despite cleanly taking the ball and side stepping another player. When the ref *finally* blew his whistle, I asked why it was a foul, I was told "any more o' yer lip and yer aff". Usual Sunday league pish.

Charming.

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Guest Exposure @ Lemon Tree
I've never been booked in all my years of football at primary, secondary, boys clubs, strikers and goals.

Who the hell are you? Gary Linekar?

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About 10 years ago I got sent off 8 times in one match from that utter Prick Mike Pocock. My first sending off was for spitting (Which I never actually did, and can't stand anyone who would even consider it), when I tried to explain I never spat in a totally mild mannered and bemused way, he showed me the red card again for refusing to leave the field of play, he then showed me a red card for pretty much every sentence i tried to say. In the end after 8 cards, i thought it may be best to stop saying anything and walk off! And at this point I may add, I never raised my voice or swore at him once, it was such a case of him being seen to be a big man!

I got a ban which covered 6 months, and I was released by my club and ended up playing in the local leagues! Seriously Mike Pocock, let me me say that again, MIKE POCOCK, who is an Aberdonian referee, is a Knober of the highest order.

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About 10 years ago I got sent off 8 times in one match from that utter Prick Mike Pocock. My first sending off was for spitting (Which I never actually did, and can't stand anyone who would even consider it), when I tried to explain I never spat in a totally mild mannered and bemused way, he showed me the red card again for refusing to leave the field of play, he then showed me a red card for pretty much every sentence i tried to say. In the end after 8 cards, i thought it may be best to stop saying anything and walk off! And at this point I may add, I never raised my voice or swore at him once, it was such a case of him being seen to be a big man!

Um, sorry to be the voice of reason here, but it was you who was in the wrong. The ref has sent you off....you should leave the field of play! The initial red may have been incorrect, but your bleating isn't going to change his mind. I can't believe that it took eight red cards for you to realise that maybe you should keep it shut. The decision won't be reversed, so all that you are doing is getting yourself into deeper trouble.

The first red card - incorrect (presumably). The others? Correct.

Love from Christy

PS. Hawmin Calum, you told me last week that I was yer favourite ref! Don't lump me in with all the incompetents!

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Guest Exposure @ Lemon Tree
PS. Hawmin Calum, you told me last week that I was yer favourite ref! Don't lump me in with all the incompetents!

I was full of Edgar Prais love when I told you that.................

To be fair, you were definitely the best at Goals*

*but you were maybe just the best of a bad bunch ;)

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Um, sorry to be the voice of reason here, but it was you who was in the wrong. The ref has sent you off....you should leave the field of play! The initial red may have been incorrect, but your bleating isn't going to change his mind. I can't believe that it took eight red cards for you to realise that maybe you should keep it shut. The decision won't be reversed, so all that you are doing is getting yourself into deeper trouble.

The first red card - incorrect (presumably). The others? Correct.

Love from Christy

PS. Hawmin Calum, you told me last week that I was yer favourite ref! Don't lump me in with all the incompetents!

Yeh I agree now, that I'm ten years or so wiser and am not in tha middle of a game! But at the time tensions were obviously running high, and I'd just been sent off for nothing. This wasn't the outcome of a bad tackle, of punch up, Mike (The Cock) Pocock just came up to me and sent me off, I asked what for and he said spitting, that was it, no further explanation. Now I realise I was stupid to argue, but I tried to do it in a calm manner cause I believe myself to be a decent guy, I was truly shocked at what was happening, it's the only time I'd ever seen a card of any colour. If he had given me an explanation (which is all I wanted) there would have been no real issue!

The guy had just sent me off for something that I find absolutely disgusting, I was deeply offended by the man. The thing that really annoyed me was he was meant to be a Class 1 Ref, this wasn't a kick about, it was a decent level of football, I just though he could have handled it better.

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Yeh I agree now, that I'm ten years or so wiser and am not in tha middle of a game! But at the time tensions were obviously running high, and I'd just been sent off for nothing. This wasn't the outcome of a bad tackle, of punch up, Mike (The Cock) Pocock just came up to me and sent me off, I asked what for and he said spitting, that was it, no further explanation. Now I realise I was stupid to argue, but I tried to do it in a calm manner cause I believe myself to be a decent guy, I was truly shocked at what was happening, it's the only time I'd ever seen a card of any colour. If he had given me an explanation (which is all I wanted) there would have been no real issue!

The guy had just sent me off for something that I find absolutely disgusting, I was deeply offended by the man. The thing that really annoyed me was he was meant to be a Class 1 Ref, this wasn't a kick about, it was a decent level of football, I just though he could have handled it better.

Obviously I wasn't there etc etc, but just to make a wee point. As a former referee, I often tried to explain my decisions clearly and rationally. However, footballers are not the most rational of creatures, and I found that this often served to antagonise them even further. Example:

'Fit's at fir, ref?'

'Your challenge caught your opponent before you played the ball'

'Naw it fuckin didnae'

'Aye, you went through him to get the ball, free kick'

'You're a fuckin tube, ref'

And then you have to laugh it off or order him off. I have every sympathy with a referee who makes his decision and wants to get on with the game without discussion. Getting into a debate with a dude you've just ordered off is not advisable.

Again, I'm just playing devil's advocate here. But as a player AND a ref, I know from both sides how frustrating the game can be. Nothing frustrates me more, though, than players/managers who say 'all we want is to be able to interact with the ref, to be able to talk to him' when the first words that come out their mouth is 'fuck off ref, you're shite'. There's a reason why referees make themselves unapproachable.

Actually, there is one thing that annoys me more (you listening, Mr Crichton?): people playing at fives or amateurs who moan about the standard of refereeing. I mean, come on! The quality of reffing is FAR superior to the level of play at these levels. If you want better officials, get better at football and play professionally. Moaning fuckers!

Love from Christy

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Guest Exposure @ Lemon Tree
Obviously I wasn't there etc etc, but just to make a wee point. As a former referee, I often tried to explain my decisions clearly and rationally. However, footballers are not the most rational of creatures, and I found that this often served to antagonise them even further. Example:

'Fit's at fir, ref?'

'Your challenge caught your opponent before you played the ball'

'Naw it fuckin didnae'

'Aye, you went through him to get the ball, free kick'

'You're a fuckin tube, ref'

And then you have to laugh it off or order him off. I have every sympathy with a referee who makes his decision and wants to get on with the game without discussion. Getting into a debate with a dude you've just ordered off is not advisable.

Again, I'm just playing devil's advocate here. But as a player AND a ref, I know from both sides how frustrating the game can be. Nothing frustrates me more, though, than players/managers who say 'all we want is to be able to interact with the ref, to be able to talk to him' when the first words that come out their mouth is 'fuck off ref, you're shite'. There's a reason why referees make themselves unapproachable.

Actually, there is one thing that annoys me more (you listening, Mr Crichton?): people playing at fives or amateurs who moan about the standard of refereeing. I mean, come on! The quality of reffing is FAR superior to the level of play at these levels. If you want better officials, get better at football and play professionally. Moaning fuckers!

Love from Christy

Fuck off ref, yi cunt. :swearing:

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I have a whole pack of red cards - mostly for my big mouth.

But I did get sent off for booting one of my own players up the arse.

I'd just taken over player/management of this struggling Saturday Amateur team and we had this absolutely useless and deluded fatboy, who had no ability whatsoever. He couldn't trap a ball or complete a 5-yard pass, no positional sense, didn't listen at training, yet felt compelled to try all the stupid flicks and tricks in the game.

One Saturday at Hazehead - I had only 11 players including him.

Long story short, he'd refused to do the simple thing all game, gave the ball away repeatedly then finally cost us the match by trying a drag-back on the 6-yard line when a simple hoof out the park would have sufficed.

As he bent over to hold his head in his hands theatrically, I kicked him as hard as I could - toe first - right up the shiter!

Straight red! - although the ref, Lexie Lovie was entirely sympathetic.

Fucker turned up the very next week, when I fielded 10 players and refused to even put his name on the teamsheet - and we won!

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I was never sent off in my "career"

Quite a few yellows for:

- Intentional hand balls when being run ragged in midfield by better players

- Intentional scything of better players who were running me ragged

- screaming "yeeeeeaaaaahhh" in a particularly obnoxious full back's face after scoring a goal

Does anyone remember a wee local ref who did amateur/juvenile football about 10-15 years ago and resembled Danny De Vito? I think his surname was maybe Treasurer? He once threatened to book me for ballooning the ball 5 yards over the bar after he'd blown for offside. (I actually hadn't heard the whistle and was trying to score). Thankfully for me he'd forgotten his cards.

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Think I remember him...a bit more moon-faced than de Vito?

Aye, I think so. Same build and hair line, more of a teuchter and probably less cool....

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The first red card - incorrect (presumably). The others? Correct

Can you actually award multiple red cards for the same offence? I did the ref course years ago (never reffed, though...) and I'm struggling to remeber this part - but something in me is saying that only one red card is actually issued, with the subsequent offences being reported - but you can't get sent off twice, because you've already been dismissed from the field of play.

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