Dan G Posted September 19, 2008 Report Share Posted September 19, 2008 I originally wrote this for the sound engineers over at the andy sneap forums. But there has been a great response and it is now all over the net, so thought I would share it with people here:(basic audio engineering knowledge helps to understand this a bit better)MASTERED BY MUPPETSEnd of session day, Rubin works away:I'm your source of song-destructionTunes that hurt you ear, poor sound engineerLeaving spikes on my instructionTrust me you will seeVolumes all you needDedicated toHow I'll limit youCompressing fasterLimit your MasterYour albums sell fasterWith a loud MasterMasterMastered by muppets, brickwalling your dreamsClipping, distorting and smashing extremesRuined by me, you can't hear a thingJust spiking snares, and auto-tuned screamsMasteredMasteredRubins my name, and I'll hear you screamBastardBastardNeed to mix this way, never you dismayLoud makes death magnetic clearerGain monopoly, ritual Waves L3Squash your tracks til its severeGate and you will seeMore and more dBDedicated toHow Im killing youCompressing fasterLimit your MasterYour albums sell fasterWith a loud MasterMasterMastered by muppets, brickwalling your dreamsClipping, distorting and smashing extremesRuined by me, you can't hear a thingJust spiking snares, and auto-tuned screamsMasteredMasteredRubins my name, and I'll hear you screamBastardBastardMaster, Master, where's the version I've been after?Bearded, Bastard, you promised only liesBlaster, Blaster, recorded on a ghetto blaster? Laughter, laughter, laughing at those highsSpike to me!Lars aint worth all that natural kick and hatsKirk adds wah without a reasonNever ending phrase, Jaymz goes on for daysRob, your shirt is out of seasonIll record til 5 (then)I will help you buySandals that suit youNow you look cool too 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 19, 2008 Report Share Posted September 19, 2008 I quite like some of Rick Rubins output.I feel I've missed the point entirely on this one... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Graham Knight Posted September 19, 2008 Report Share Posted September 19, 2008 I don't like Rick Rubin either. He is praised for the half dozen albums he made with the late Johnny Cash and many commentators write about his stripped down style. But I prefer the real stripped down Johnny Cash that was recorded with four microphones and a simple mixer onto a single track at the Sun Studios in Memphis fifty years ago.He started life in a band called "The Pricks" and some musicians I know think the name he chose is still apt. Nevertheless he has 7 Grammys and he definitely pleases a lot of people.The use of limiting and compression makes everything sound the same. Mind you some of Rubin's productions don't have tracks at all but segue into each other thus achieving even more sameness.Compression and peak limiting is also a problem at some broadcasters as they add compression and limiting to get more "loudness" for their station. This has the effect of making their broadcast stand out when a listener tunes across the dial. So no matter how carefully a record is engineered the sound perceived by the listener can be messed up by the broadcaster.Rick Rubin isn't keen on reverb either but I like reverb. I also like a loud sound and to this end have two six foot high and four feet deep loudspeakers and no neighbours! Despite liking loud music I don't like limiting and compression. I like to hear a real cymbal crash not the awful clipped sound on some records.Dan Atom raises some very interesting points - no wonder it has provoked further debate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkaline Posted September 20, 2008 Report Share Posted September 20, 2008 You weren't joking about it being all over the internetweb o_OCrazy madness Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted September 21, 2008 Report Share Posted September 21, 2008 Yeah, funny how many pages you get when you stick it in Google.Seems somebody's going to record it and up it to youtube too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stupot Posted September 21, 2008 Report Share Posted September 21, 2008 You need some kind of mastering if you hope to compete with commercial tracks but it should be applied with an ear to preserving the dynamics of the track. There's too much "loudness" competition going on these days between engineers and it's ruining otherwise great tracks.My final stage in the mastering process is still to run the finished mix through my Studer J37 2inch tape machine. It's always done it for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pierre Von Mondragon Posted September 22, 2008 Report Share Posted September 22, 2008 Nice one man, you are now officially the metal Richard Stilgoe, Richard Stilgoe - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Legend awaits thee (or a spot on the One Show), I love a good pastiche.On the other hand, 'Electric' by the Cult is one of the best sounding records on earth, and 'License to Ill' isn't far behind, so he has some skill(z), perhaps he has got too caught up in the Mastering Wars. I haven't heard the new album yet, but now my interest has been piqued on a technical level, as well as a 'what are they up to now'.You could earn a wad of theoretical internet money for that one. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted September 22, 2008 Report Share Posted September 22, 2008 Gotta love the Stilgoe.Anyone remember the "Richard Stillnotdead" parody on the Mary Whitehouse Experience? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeyEB Posted September 22, 2008 Report Share Posted September 22, 2008 Gotta love the Stilgoe.Anyone remember the "Richard Stillnotdead" parody on the Mary Whitehouse Experience?I remember a little of that, I used to love that show. The thing I remember most was Newman and Baddiel pretending to be The Cure and singing The Laughing Policeman. That and the genius of Edward Collander Hands. His collander hands made a really good shower. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lame Guitarist Posted September 22, 2008 Report Share Posted September 22, 2008 haha thats brill. Is this the guy that did their new album? i thought they use Bob Rock? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hog Posted September 22, 2008 Report Share Posted September 22, 2008 They didn't use Bob Rock for the new album.If they added some vocal harmonies (especially on the Unforgiven 3), layered the piss out the guitars and added some reverb to the vox it would have made a big difference IMHO.As for the clipping...it really makes it sound like my car speakers have died on me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pierre Von Mondragon Posted September 23, 2008 Report Share Posted September 23, 2008 Oh and the 'Justice for Audio' cover is fucking proper funny, nice one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan G Posted September 23, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2008 Oh and the 'Justice for Audio' cover is fucking proper funny, nice one.Fucking hell man, that was quickly spotted! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lepeep Posted September 23, 2008 Report Share Posted September 23, 2008 Nice one man, you are now officially the metal Richard Stilgoe, Richard Stilgoe - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Legend awaits thee (or a spot on the One Show), I love a good pastiche.On the other hand, 'Electric' by the Cult is one of the best sounding records on earth, and 'License to Ill' isn't far behind, so he has some skill(z), perhaps he has got too caught up in the Mastering Wars. I haven't heard the new album yet, but now my interest has been piqued on a technical level, as well as a 'what are they up to now'.You could earn a wad of theoretical internet money for that one.My mum got Stilgoe's autograph when she was on the waverly steamer...doesn't that sound like a great story....zzzzzzzzzzz.....I was loving "blood sugar sex magic", I love its rawness...mr Rubin did all that, did he not? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted September 24, 2008 Report Share Posted September 24, 2008 Man alive! I hadn't heard anyone use 'Muppet' as a derogatory term in about 8 years.Super cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted September 24, 2008 Report Share Posted September 24, 2008 My mum got Stilgoe's autograph when she was on the waverly steamer...doesn't that sound like a great story....zzzzzzzzzzz.....I was loving "blood sugar sex magic", I love its rawness...mr Rubin did all that, did he not?I'm not sure about his production "skillz", I like a lot of the stuff he did with Johnny Cash, particularly American 4, but then I like a lot of Johnny Cash's stuff that he didn't produce. I guess you have to credit Rubin with helping Cash back into the limelight, but you probably have to assume that a talent as big as Cash's would have become fashionable again in the 90s anyway. That said, I think you could argue that Willie Nelson and Kristoffersson are of similar standing and they didn't get mass market appeal like Cash did, so who knows...As for other albums, Blood Sugar Sex Magic is indeed a classic. The only other Rubin produced track that I would count among my favourites is Taking the Long Way Round by the Dixie Chicks, and I would say that the production on that doesn't seem to be anything special, in fact it could have been produced by anybody really. (Excuse the video, it was the only youtube clip I could find of the album version) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neepheid Posted September 24, 2008 Report Share Posted September 24, 2008 Loudness war - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooms Posted September 24, 2008 Report Share Posted September 24, 2008 not a bad article that.worth a 5 minute read on my lunch break anyway! :-p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan G Posted September 24, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 24, 2008 I'm on the metal hammer website:Metal Hammer - News Article Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted September 24, 2008 Report Share Posted September 24, 2008 Good effort. You have to assume that your version has probably got back to the band by now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooms Posted September 24, 2008 Report Share Posted September 24, 2008 haha, that's awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan G Posted September 26, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 26, 2008 I did another one, Rubin being zapped by peak-clipping waves: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lepeep Posted September 26, 2008 Report Share Posted September 26, 2008 I like the detail of the clipped soundwaves, shows that they care! ho ho Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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