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Bigsby

Worst Lyrics Ever?

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OK, this thread was inspired by Shane Ward's new single, which has to be a contender for the worst lyrics of all time:

I'm gonna make you feel like you're heaven on earth

I'm gonna thank your mother just for giving you birth

So come on folks, what are the most cringeworthy/annoying/juvenile lyrics that you know?

Feel free to include local bands. ;)

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Garbage courtesy of Marshall Mathers. I particularly hate the last line but the rest is unstructured nonsense as well.

Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird

I'mma give you the world

I'mma buy a diamond ring for you

I'mma sing for you

I'll do anything for you to see you smile

And if that mockingbird don't sing and that ring don't shine

I'mma break that birdie's neck

I'd go back to the jewler who sold it to ya

And make him eat every carat don't fuck with dad

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Top quality extract from Slow Jam by New Order:

The afternoon was very clear

The sun was beating down on me

I got thirsty for a beer

That I had to go to sea

The sea was very rough

It made me feel sick

But I like that kind of stuff

It beats arithmetic

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"Mexican girl, don't leave me alone, I've got a heart as big as a stone" - Smokie

"Gonna write a classic, gonna write it in an attic" - Adrian Gurvitz

"Get on the bus and cause no fuss" - Oasis

"I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things that a woman ain't s'possed to see, I've been to paradise but I've never been to me" - some warbling diva who "connected" with the Happy Nappy Land set for a few weeks in the 80's

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This contains some of the lamest lyrics I've heard in a while
. Sounds like it was written by a teenager.

There isn't a number big enough to quantify the hours I'd happily spend mercilessly kicking that cunts head.

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This contains some of the lamest lyrics I've heard in a while
. Sounds like it was written by a teenager.

That's a little offensive to teenagers. Sounds more like a primary school class' anti-war project.......unless there was some quality after the 1 minute and 2 second I could bear listening to.

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Since anti war songs have been brought up, how about this "classic" from Culture Club:

War war is stupid

And people are stupid

And love means nothing

In some strange quarters

War war is stupid

And people are stupid

And I heard them banging

On hearts and fingers

People fill the world

With narrow confidence

Like a child at birth

A man with no defense

Whats mine is my own

I wont give it to you

No matter what you say

No matter what you do

Now were fighting

In our hearts

Fighting in the street

Wont somebody help me?

Man is far behind

In the search for something new

Like a philistine

Were burning witches too

This world of fate

Must be designed for you

It matters what you say

It matters what you do

Now were fighting

In our hearts

Fighting in the street

Wont somebody help me?

After the bird has flown

He walked ten thousand

Miles back home

You cant do that to me, no

You cant do that to me

You cant do that to me, no

You cant do that to me

Now were fighting

In our hearts

Fighting in the street

Wont somebody help me?

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First time I heard this, I knew that I wouldn't forget it in a hurry

"I'll make you a shopoholic

Buying you stuff until you vomit"

(Big Brovaz - Favourite things)

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Top quality extract from Slow Jam by New Order:

The afternoon was very clear

The sun was beating down on me

I got thirsty for a beer

That I had to go to sea

The sea was very rough

It made me feel sick

But I like that kind of stuff

It beats arithmetic

The "go to sea" line always used to crack me up. I heard the line "Hey girls, I'm a cunt" in a song I believe to by Everytime I Die, which i found rather crass.

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Impaled Nazarene - Satan Wants You Dead

This world is a maggot I put on a fish hook

While I rape your grandmothers dirty fucking corpse

Thats the whole song.

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What am I gonna do my girlfriend's test turned blue

We tried to play it safe that night we could not wait

No no, this can't be right she said it would be alright

I can't afford to be a daddy, so I leave tonight...

Cash Machine by Hard-Fi

What kind of message is that to send out? Get a girl pregnant then shoot off under the cover of night?

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Guest Jake Wifebeater
What am I gonna do my girlfriend's test turned blue

We tried to play it safe that night we could not wait

No no, this can't be right she said it would be alright

I can't afford to be a daddy, so I leave tonight...

Cash Machine by Hard-Fi

What kind of message is that to send out? Get a girl pregnant then shoot off under the cover of night?

Aye, that's a pretty dodgy message, alright. He could at least do the decent thing and talk her into getting rid of it instead...

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Aye, that's a pretty dodgy message, alright. He could at least do the decent thing and talk her into getting rid of it instead...

Sooo, Abortion :popcorn:

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Guest Jake Wifebeater
Sooo, Abortion :popcorn:

A fantastic option, we're lucky to have it. Should be compulsory in some cases.

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Murrr :

Pretty much any Cannibal Corpse lyrics.

maybe to someone who deosnt like death metal or the theme surrounding it, as far as brutal horror theme lyrics go, corpse is fine, so there!

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maybe to someone who deosnt like death metal or the theme surrounding it, as far as brutal horror theme lyrics go, corpse is fine, so there!

I'm not adverse to a little bit of death here and there, I just find the lyrics hysterical.

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