Hog Posted August 15, 2005 Author Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 interesting thoughts here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinosaur Posted August 15, 2005 Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 I seem to have small issues trusting GF's past expierences perhaps. But I often feel really paranoid and think that there might be someone else even though I am like 99% sure there isnt. Thing is, I feel really bad because it's like I'm judging her based on past expierences. she makes me so happy though, love her lots Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2 minutes of hate Posted August 15, 2005 Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 forgive but never forget Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feeble! Posted August 15, 2005 Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 Hmmmm, forgive but only so you can guilt trip them until christmas/birthday or whatever. Then they're bound to get you a fucking awesome present, and you can dump them after that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imprinted Posted August 15, 2005 Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 I would have awarded Leepeep a scene point for bringing up Shellac in a non related thread.....I salute you as do I!Squirrels! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Vis Posted August 15, 2005 Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 Hmmmm' date=' forgive but only so you can guilt trip them until christmas/birthday or whatever. Then they're bound to get you a fucking awesome present, and you can dump them after that.[/quote']At 9:01 on a miserable Monday morning, you have just put a smile on my face. Thank you sir. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lexicon Devil Posted August 15, 2005 Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 Thing is' date=' I feel really bad because it's like I'm judging her based on past expierences.[/quote']I see what you mean. But...that's not exactly an absurd notion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lepeep Posted August 15, 2005 Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 as do I!Squirrels! I would have awarded Leepeep a scene point for bringing up Shellac in a non related thread.....I salute youyou see what the power of Shellac can do ? it can UNITE WORLDS !RAR! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Mac Posted August 15, 2005 Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 I would dump them straight away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bluesxman Posted August 15, 2005 Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 Having been on both sides of the equation, breaking up is the best solution, as no matter how much the 'forgive and forget' solution is tried, the relationship is irretrievably linked with suspicion and the event is inevitably brought up in future arguments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimr Posted August 15, 2005 Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 To the person who said getting wrecked beyond memory is an excuse WRONG. It's your own fault for getting yourself into a state where it endangers your relationship. For the lack of forward thinking and immaturity I'd say it was even more unforgivable.But to answer the question in generalIf I'd just started seeing someone and we weren't that close' date=' I could possibly forgive them kissing someone else (but no further than this) in which case I'd watch them like the hawk and put a temporary ban of contact with said female (I'd probably also give her verbal grief and possibly a few threats - I'm being honest here).In my current relationship, after all we've been through no, I wouldn't forgive him regardless of what he did. I'd stop talking to him and probably release a lot of built up anger on who ever the girl was.Even just the thought of my bf kissing someone else makes me feel sick. It's not something I'd expect from him though, it's not in his nature to behave like that.[/quote']Harsh. You don't think there can be any circumstances where factors outwith your relationship can fuel said drinking and result in something completely out of your control?I think its more to do with pride. Drunken kisses happen, if you are so petty that you hold this against the person you "love" then maybe you don't like them as much as you think. Fair enough on boning or what not though. I'm not some hedonistic love demon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lepeep Posted August 15, 2005 Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 Harsh. You don't think there can be any circumstances where factors outwith your relationship can fuel said drinking and result in something completely out of your control?I think its more to do with pride. Drunken kisses happen' date=' if you are so petty that you hold this against the person you "love" then maybe you don't like them as much as you think. Fair enough on boning or what not though. I'm not some hedonistic love demon.[/quote']booze is an excuse, because as we all know, booze just gives you the courage to do what you are really thinking..so, if you snog / shag someone pissed, it's because you want to, not because the booze is making you do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Keira Posted August 15, 2005 Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 I'd go with dumped. I have a hard time forgetting things, so I would probably never feel at ease again.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tv tanned Posted August 15, 2005 Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 not that it would ever happen but she would be forgiven, i ain't ever leaving her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feeble! Posted August 15, 2005 Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 not that it would ever happen but she would be forgiven' date=' i ain't ever leaving her.[/quote']What if it was like a ridiculous amount of cheating though? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tv tanned Posted August 15, 2005 Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 What if it was like a ridiculous amount of cheating though?she forgave me big time a while back.Having been with her seven years, and being set to marry her next August, I think that your hypothetical situation is completely unlikely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimr Posted August 15, 2005 Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 booze is an excuse' date=' because as we all know, booze just gives you the courage to do what you are really thinking..so, if you snog / shag someone pissed, it's because you want to, not because the booze is making you do it.[/quote']Not in my experiance. The only time I have cheated on someone I got very drunk during a particularly mundane night out. I literally turned round and some girl who had been dancing beside me starting kissing me. The exact thoughts that went through my head were "someone is kissing me, my girlfriend kisses me, this must be my girlfriend" A few minutes later I realise what i'm doing and stumble towards the exit completely disgusted with myself. I am not claiming innocence here, but I certainly didn't want to do anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lepeep Posted August 15, 2005 Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 Not in my experiance. The only time I have cheated on someone I got very drunk during a particularly mundane night out. I literally turned round and some girl who had been dancing beside me starting kissing me. The exact thoughts that went through my head were "someone is kissing me' date=' my girlfriend kisses me, this must be my girlfriend" A few minutes later I realise what i'm doing and stumble towards the exit completely disgusted with myself. I am not claiming innocence here, but I certainly didn't want to do anything.[/quote']was the girl kissing you drunk?and, as you said, you realised what was going on...I think the "unfaithful" element in that situation was null and void, as you realised and sorted it...no ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
confession Posted August 15, 2005 Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 ... and I'd hunt the girl down and kick the shit out of her.If you can't control yourself when you get drunk' date=' you shouldn't get drunk.[/quote']I never thought I'd read something like this that was written by you. Always thought of you as the pride-gets-hurt-just-avoid-them type. I like your thinking. Although I'd probably wouldn't use a wide range of weaponry, and succu, I'm sure you wouldn't need to either!! I think our guys kno better than to cheat... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janine Posted August 15, 2005 Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 If anyone cheated on me, they'd be gone. I couldn't handle it, no matter how much I loved them. And I know that. I have cheated on someone, but I made no excuse for it and I didn't want forgiveness. It was just the final step in succumbing to the fact I didn't want to be with them anymore. I don't agree with what others have said about there being different circumstances to consider. Cheating is cheating, the fact remains that however long you've been in the relationship and however much alcohol has been consumed, someone else replaced you. Your partner didn't come to you, didn't want you. But something which hasn't come up is the time-honoured belief 'once a cheat, always a cheat', which is of course, completely ridiculous in my opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest haigyman Posted August 15, 2005 Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 I don't agree with what others have said about there being different circumstances to consider.not even if they were ON A BREAK!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janine Posted August 15, 2005 Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 Well then its just NOT cheating is it, since relationship rules don't count. But if you're on a break, your relationship is probably on its last legs anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benji Posted August 15, 2005 Report Share Posted August 15, 2005 There's no excuse for anyone to cheat on anyone, no matter what the circumstances are.Pissed - Like lepeep said, it's a courage builder, fair enough if it's a quick peck on the lips, but a full-on snog,shag, or 69 just isn't on.It's happened to me once (not the 69, I hope) with a bird I was seeing for a couple of months, after I had heard about it, I just cut off all links with her. it's the worst thing because they always usually want to explain why? But I 'acted' like I didn't give a crap, and didn't talk to her, we worked together which was fun, watching her squirm and walk on eggshells untill we parted ways. After she sent me a barrell of texts, I eventually responded by simply saying, 'Your true colours shone thru, and your opinion is worth nothing" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowball Posted August 16, 2005 Report Share Posted August 16, 2005 I'd break it off no matter how much I loved them because things will never be the same. It would always be in the back of my mind and I couldn't carry on as normal with the person. I would probably always bring it up in completely unrelated arguments as well which wouldn't be fair on the guy if I had supposedly forgiven him.I think that if you're young you shouldn't waste your teens/twenties with a cheater. There's no point in wasting your time with a relationship like that when you're my age (20.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest haigyman Posted August 16, 2005 Report Share Posted August 16, 2005 in my opinion the rules still stand when on a break as you still stand a chance of getting back together...by breaking these rules you are very much putting the last nail in the coffin.well i was just making a cheap "friends" joke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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