Shaki

This was a story about the visually impaired on the Norwegian News last night....

This is very much my fear and why I've never succumbed to the tempation of ever playing it. I saw it in HMV for £18 or something today and was sorely tempted but managed to remember I enjoy my life and it's not worth risking it. I love talking about it to people who play it, even though I don't...yet.

OK, I just got El Camino by The Black Keys and I think it is wonderful, currently 6 songs in... Also got Fountains of Wayne and Ryan Adam's 2011 offerings, perhaps they will also be good but they won't be as good as this in my ears right now.

Similar story of crippling boredom at my work. I always plan the things I'll get done in these quiet times but when it comes around I just go with staring out the window and walking into other people's offices for the Christmas chat.

I did take it too far when I took off my shirt, undressed the baby and held it to my chest saying "look ladies, skin on skin, isn't it so beautiful? Look at how small he looks next to my biceps" I was trying to be arty but they read it different.

I didn't know they had done that. I lasted 43 seconds. It sounded exactly like JEW covering WHAM.

I like it when kids come into the office, particularly new born babies. I hold them and coo over them and then all the women are all like "OMG, you are sooooo good with kids" and I can tell they all want to marry me. That is power.

This is my favourite:

It might offend the person on the receiving end just as much or even more. You can't dictate what people should find offensive.

Come on Culkin, pop yer clogs.

I am hungover and it hurts. I am going to Glasgow but I just want to to back to bed. I don't like hangovers - they make me very grumpy. My girlfriend asked if I had something warm to wear for the bus and for some reason my answer was "fuck off". Now she is upset.

I'll give you a clue. He's a 24 year old ice hockey enthusiast.

There is still a healthy DIY punk scene and network of bands in the UK…or at least there was a six months ago before I jacked it all in to become a failed novelist. Perhaps that’s exclusive to that music type and therefore isn’t part of the Aberdeen scene but I always felt a great cameraderie at any of these gigs I attended or played. You got to know folk in all the other bands and the same folk would tend to show up all over Scotland and organise gigs for each other in their home town. I guess this is what this thread is about? My new band have our first gig in January. We’re all in our 30s and I don’t think we’re interested in being part of a scene or particularly care. We just want to play our songs to people and if there is a venue to cater for that then great. So, age is definitely a factor for me. I don’t know if that makes me part of the problem.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2011/dec/16/christopher-hitchens-dies-aged-62

He's certainly not very good. Does he actually play for Sweden? I thought the Tims game was reasonably entertaining. Samaras is a strange player, he can be rather good when he can be arsed.

Kathryn Heigl: I'm moving to Paris Ryan Reynolds: Paris, Illinois?! (he can be funny even in times of emotional stress you see) Heigl: Paris, France. Look, you know that my job comes first and... Reynolds: Mine too! But France?! I mean....God! I'll get onto it once I've finished Loose Cannon.

Has it ever happened that you've gone to get in a yellow cab at the same time as a young woman, argued with each other about who was there first, realised your going the same way, shared the cab, both apologised for the argument stating neither of you were having a good day (her with her big fashion assignment due and you with that big project looming which you've lost the blueprints for), went your separate ways before realising that you'd picked up each other's iPhones, got back in touch to swap phones, flirted a little, left it a few days while your respective best friends have given you advice and explained the current rules of dating, went on a couple of dates before having some trouble balancing your heavy work schedules with dating, picked things up again before she announces that she's got to go to Paris to live for a year, said your goodbyes but then had a change of heart putting love before work and meeting her at the airport with your bags packed? This is what I imagine New York life is like. I guess seeing as you don't live in Paris you haven't concluded this wonderful journey.

I'm sure your fat wife and your squiffy-eyed kids would be really proud of that retort.

Haha, there was a guy who I used to see all the time at Pittodrie and took a hatred too just based on his face. I see him around all the time now like God is crossing our paths to see what I might do.

He's certainly up there for me and I'd put him ahead of Cameron because of how far he's fallen in my estimations. Piers Morgan for his lack of talent V's exposure and success.

Who has really pissed you off this year and why? You can nominate anybody for any reason - Simon Cowell for being such a tosser - that bloke you were queuing next to in the supermarket for insulting the instant coffee you were buying - Jeremy Clarkson for something he said about Scottish people or women or homosexuals - Shaki for using dashes instead of commas or semi colons...

I like how each item in the list has more characters than the last so at least this thread wasn't a total waste of time :-)

First, let me say how delighted I am with a good away win That's bigger news than any advances in nailing down the Higgs Boson! Frustrations I had were the two late counter attacks that we managed to totally fuck up and the fact that being 2-0 up in injury time we still allowed for nervy moments to see out the win. When you're three on one running in on goal the least you should expect is for someone to be in a position with the ball to take a shot! Ozzie did well at RB but was posted missing a few times late in the first half. Competent but I don't think he's the answer at that position. Mawene puts in some great blocks, is decent in the air and is ok with the ball at his feet but he's pretty slow and prone to error. I still think him and Consi are the obvious pairing in the current squad despite their combined max MPH still being slower than Ricky Foster at a canter. I think a league table of the slowest players in the SPL would go Fallon, Mawene, Considine, Paddy McCourt although the latter can skin whole teams at 1MPH. I have more to say but I have to go back to work...

....was a 2011 joke by Shaki, Adam Easy Wishes and Paranoid Android.

Yes but did you like my Folly joke about his favourite snack? I made it up myself. I'll like this if you like it. Like for like.