Shaki

I want to fast forward my life three months and wake up with a fit again Anderson commanding the Dons defence and scoring headers against the Huns. Fuck Christmas AND my birthday. Can we not cancel Yoann Folly's contract my mutual agreement? Not that I don't like the guy but he's been picking up a wage for a whole year whilst out. Crock for crock. Do it. PS What's Yoann Folly's favourite snack? Une croque-monsieur.

He went to the Premiership actually, netted us £1M and gave his signing fee back. A true Aberdeen legend and the player I hold in the highest regard in the past 20 years.

I tend to follow former Don's careers to an unhealthy level of obsession and Anderson's career since leaving us has been a disaster. Particularly at Derby it wasn't just one or two injuries and then a run in the team - he hardly played more than two consecutive games and every time he came back he would pick up another injury. The fans there seemed to rate him any time he did play but were frustrated at how injury prone he is. That's twice his contract has been ripped up by mutual consent and both managers said the same thing - model professional but terribly unlucky with injury. I can't see that changing now he's 33. Brown has stated that he would need to free up wages to take him on and given his problems with injury you'd be hard pushed to justify that. If he could stay fit he'd be exactly what we need but I don't think it's worth the risk.

Do you mean the cross from Fyvie late on? It didn't go in - the keeper pushed it round the post. But...we were denied a corner from which we would have obviously scored. Anyway, I appreciate we weren't good enough but we didn't get the rub of the green. Vernon's penalty shout was a stone waller and it was definitely hand ball for their first goal although nobody seemed to claim at the time. I think we were all so astounded at how we let them score with such ease to notice the hand ball. Considine and Mawene are very slow and I think that is a big factor when coming up against teams who can pass the ball to each other and have a nippy striker.

That biled my pish something awful. What a dick. There seems to be an argument as to whether or not he was touched, even if ever so slightly. Surely the panel was there to decide whether it was simulation, not whether he was touched. There may have been minimal sock on sock contact but nobody in their right mind can look at that incident and say that Aluko didn't intentionally fall down to simulate that he had been tripped to win a penalty. It was an awful dive. One week in a hun jersey and he's a cheating bastard already. Cunt team.

My girlfriend is always worried about her mother's safety and I was joking in the office that she' be all like "oh, I hope my Ma's ok! We should go and pick her up and take her to ours. Oh the wind!". Everyone found my mockery funny. Three minutes later I got a phone call "Mum's just been hit by a flying sandwich board and can't go into her work". I felt bad but I also laughed.

They should review the entire history of football retrospectively and deduct all goals gained by cheating except the true classics like the Hand of God. The Pars would have one more point which wouldn't be great for the Dons but Scotland would play Montenegro in a play off and the winner would replace the Czechs in their group for Euro 2012.

Indeed. In actual fact The King is Dead, Pencaitland and The High Country are all jokepunk garage bands that I am in with myself. I name our albums after band names for irony. The original point though - if you're talking books you'd say "Martin Chuzzlewitt by Charles Dickens"..particularly as it is hard to say "Charles Dickens'z Martin Chuzzlewitt". What does it generally say on CD spines? artist or album title first? i'm bored.

Nowhere near as good as "One Step Beyond" though.

1. The King is Dead - The Decemberists 2. Pencaitland - Southern Tenant Folk Union 3. The High Country - Richmond Fontaine That is the albums from 2011 that I own in order of preference.

When pop/R&B stars headbang, play air guitar or do any other “rock star” style posturing during guitar interludes. I’m not boo hooing about these moves being appropriated by pop artists from “real music” or anything like that - I just think they look stupid, particularly that Nicole whatserface from the Pussy Cat Dolls. She’s a fucking moron if ever I saw one.

But, but every player who's ever been on trial or in signing talks has stated in the EE that they have been really impressed with the facilities, the city and the people as well as noting that Aberdeen are a massive club with great ambition... It's inconvenient for me this whole stadium malarky but it can only be a good thing. How long would it take to walk to Loirston from, let's say, the bottom of Market Street?

The fortunes of football teams tend to go up and down and we are on a down at the moment. We seem to forget that we’ve had moderate success recently (by non-OF SPL standards). It’s not as if it’s been a steady decline either. Under Skovdahl we were last place one season and finished third place the next, then came the dark days of Pele, then the bright days of JC, dark days of McGhee….We’ll be good, we’ll be bad and we’ll be average in seasons to come. The whole “this club is rotten to the core” argument is totally overblown. I’m sure there could be improvements in how it is run but comparatively I can’t imagine it’s much different to many around us. Signing the tea lady from Motherwell might be all it takes. If you compare our league finishes to a club of a similar size and (lack of)wealth over the past 20 years we’re not doing too bad. To help you out I did this with Hibs and United since 1990-1991, adding up all the finishes* and dividing by the number of seasons. We came 5.85th, United came 6.47th and Hibs came 6.52nd (that’s with their central belt work ethic too)** *for 98-99 I allocated Hibs 11th position as they won the 1st division below a 10 team top division, similarly when Utd came 2nd in the 1st division in 95-96 they were allocated 12th place. **Official Shaki statistics. Material may be reproduced without formal permission or charge for personal or in-house use only. That took 35 minutes, I hope someone takes the time to read it.

Bizarre use of the same example at the same time. Pinky promise.

I don't think they are consistent when referring to other institutions. Would they say "NYPD is looking for clues", "McDonald's is bringing out a new range of health foods"? They may both be accurate but it doesn't mean you can't hate one of them. Similarly I think they always name the away team first in a sporting fixture so would say "Saturday (missing out "on") it's Aberdeen at Kilmarnock" and would write the score "Aberdeen 0-2 Kilmarnock"

This is accurate.

All these people who think this - do you all work for the same company or at different companies? Edit: Sorry, you've already clarified that. Carry on.

...and they're both in my fantasy football team. Today I left my PES master league to go to check the Dons score. Realising we were 1-0 already I went back through to continue my game and realised I hadn't paused it and my opponents had scored. On top of watching the draw for Euro 2012 and screaming "cheating bastards" every time the Czech Rep were mentioned this has been the worst weekend for football ever. Fuck football. We have to stick with Brown but I fear the worst with the transfer window looming as I don't think we'll be capable of making the changes required - nobody wants our shite, we've nae money and our better players could be looking elsewhere. As Hugh Jazz has noted we are rotten throughout. A 2-0 defeat at Killie is no surprise at all but being properly bottom of the league is an eye opener for even the most optimistic of Dons fans like myself.

Aberdeen continue to be woeful. On this form I think we're proper relegation fodder.

I'm going to Gothenburg :-) I have the ticket, the flights are ok but there are no fucking hotels with any vacancies for that date.

To clarify he is selling the crash to me for £60. He doesn't know it yet but when it comes to handing over the money I'm going to ask him if a bunch of fives is ok for payment and then give him a swift upper cut followed by a suplex. I like you John.

That is how they have kept me for 11 years. I even tried to change once and had the new 02 phone in my possession. I called up to get some code to swap my phone number over and they must have offered me a free keyring or something because the 02 one went back. I just accept their abuse now, probably not far off Stockholm Syndrome.

Maybe the Vencky's have forgotten that they bought Blackburn - like when half way through the season you remember you set up a fantasy football team in the Summer, you log in and find you're sitting bottom and most of your players have been sidelined for months or moved to different countries.

seen, seen (2), think I've seen. You have had tickets to see BR twice!

Further to all the charitable foundations set up I was going to post that even El Hadji Diouf is a charitable man but "The Dioufy Foundation" doesn't even have a website so it was probably a scam to for him to avoid taxes or something. Mink.