Lemonade

a further question Since I reinstalled Windows recently a lot of my MP3s won't play as it says Media Player does not support the codec used to compress the file. Does anyone know how to remedy this?

I think this thread should be closed. Chris, do your job.

We tend to sing Sit Down Shut Up when the visiting fans are getting a little rowdy. However it's edited slightly when we play the junkie smackhead bastards fae Leith, ie: Hibs "Sit Down, Shoot Up...."

Some of my favourites at various football matches attended recently: Scotland V Italy "Deep fry your pizza! we're gonna deep fry your pizza! deep fry your pizza!" To Livingston fans: "The wheels on your house go round and round, round and round, round and round..." Also to Livingston fans (who numbered about 10 in the away end at Pittodrie) "Come in a taxi? Did you all come in a taxi? Come in a taxi?" To John Hartson: "Same Old Hartson - always eating!" To Fernando Ricksen "Ricksen Ricksen where's your wife? Ricksen where's your wife?" To Richard Gough "WHo shagged all the kids? Who shagged all the kids? Richard Gough, child molester, you shagged all the kids..."

She asked me for a cigarette a while ago, I felt sorry for her and gave her one, and she then produced an almost full packet from her pocket and put my one into it. The cheek!

I'd give them oral sex for Franz Ferdinand tickets.

Karloff were fantastic, as usual Develish Presley were lets's say, not quite so fantastic. And then Zombina & The Skeletones - holy shit! They were absolutely amazing! Definitely one band I am going to keep an eye on. 50's 4 part harmony done by zombies? How can that be wrong?

This sounds stupid but it's totally serious. A few years ago I used to drink quite a lot of Coco-Cola, like about a 2 litre bottle a day, and a few cans as well. I used to dream about cola and wake up totally craving it, to the point where I'd wake up at 7am get up, put on trousers and go to the shop for cola. I stopped drinking it about two years ago, due to all the sugar that's in it. Yesterday however I had a can of it for old times sake, and another today, and now I am sitting here, absolutly gagging in desperate need of a can of cola. What the fuck do they put in that stuff that makes you crave it so?

Listen to DustyDeviada. I bought a 5 string banjo in December, took it out of the box, realised it was hard to play, and now it's back in it's box under my bed.

Somebody give me a ticket! I asked first!

Jesus Christ I must be a right bad egg. Scoundrel More than a bit naughty - you're heading for a spot of bother at this rate - that is if you're not already inside. You don't have to be perfect, but if no one says you're a bad person, they're wrong. You are. Based on your answers, we have calculated the maximum penalty for your crimes*: Years in prison: 117 Potential fine: 7000

Piccolo Pizza on Union Grove, as previously said its 2 for the price of 1 on any pizza, only 6.50 for 10", 7.50 for 12", I've just enjoyed a 10" Chicago, and have another in the fridge for tomorrow, and 3.50 change off a tenner

I accidentally drank undiluted lime cordial, my mouth immediately shrank.

I worked at Space Kitchens for 10 minutes. I went in for my first shift, got explained how the company worked, the commission, how to do the job, what script to read etc. Then he said "But all our phones are being used tonight, there's nothing you can do, come back tomorrow, the earlier you get here the more chance there is of you getting a phone". Needless to say I didn't bother going back.

As a little kid, I once called my teddy bear a cunt in front of my whole family. I got such a smacked arse for that one. I didn't know it was a swear word....

I really, really, really, really hate Christina Aguilera, fucking warbling pop-horse, I'd like to kick the shit out of her. I'd love a diet coke just now, all I have is some out-of-date cranberry juice. I'm thirsty

Dick-splash was a favourite in Broch Academy. Also calling someone a 'clatty mink', or an 'orra hoor' was particularly fun.

Thanks man, that's been driving me fucking crazy for about twenty minutes.

It's like when you don't have the tools or material to do something, and so you use what you have to make a substitute - what's the word? It's something-erize.

Here I am!