jonty84

Some absolutely hillarious insults here, but this one takes the biscuit (see what I did there)....: Legendary. Mike

Get a mullet dude. Business upfront, party outback. The ULTIMATE leisure hairstyle. Mike

Good call my son. Newry tied with Londonderry for the worst places in Northern Ireland I reckon. Londonderry feels like its trapped in the early 1980's, if you can imagine the shitty, derelict harbour areas of Aberdeen but a whole town of them, that's basically Londonderry. Plus I slipped on ice there as I was walking over the main bridge on New Years on my way up to Donegal about three years ago and nearly tore myself a new arsehole. Mike

My Dad said 'you're really just killing time playing in the band aren't you?' I didn't agree - but thought it was a good name for the band.

Christ. That's such an awful scene, especially whenever you actually think the warden's gonna go into the greenhouse and stop the atrocity, and all he does is stand and smirk, before going in and seeing the kid writing on the ground in agony, crying his eyes out, totally broken, and telling him 'Come on son, on your feet, this isn't Kew Gardens'. That warden must be one of the sickest, most twisted characters on film, and I was really hoping somebody would kill him before it was over just to give the film some sort of closure.

I'd have thought so.

Fuckin hell I get that all the time! That's like a major recurring dream for me, that someone is standing there, who it is is never an issue, pointing a gun at my head, and I'm just waiting for them to shoot me - and it gets really intense because I don't know when they're going to shoot me and I can feel the pressure. I'd love to know what that means.

Yeah there were some good points raised by it and some cracker lines too; at first I quite liked Ray Winstone's character, especially when he got revenge on the 'Daddy' by kicking fuck out of the vicious bastard in the toilets, and cracking Phil Daniels over the head with snooker balls in a sock (revenge for 'Parklife' 20 years early). But so seldom is there a film that has absolutely no optimism whatsoever. Even at the conclusion of the film there tends to be something to lift the viewer's spirits; in this case, nothing, just dismissal and empty prayer for the suicide victim. But I guess this is the idea the film seeks to convey; in Borstal around this time, there was no hope for the majority. Really made me think, horrifying to watch but I'm sure like so many others, I couldn't take my eyes off it for a second. Mike

Did anyone see Alan Clarke's 'Scum' on Channel 4 last night? I don't think I've ever been so gobsmacked by a film in my life. Honestly, there's controversial and shocking films out there but this takes some beating, it really does. Anyone see it last night or has seen it before have any opinions on it and/or it's message? Mike

1 - Human - Carpark North 2 - Apply Some Pressure - Maximo Park 3 - Cosmopolitan - Nine Black Alps 4 - Bentley's Gonna Sort You Out - Bentley Rhythm Ace 5 - Stars of CCTV - Hard-Fi

Little Kev loses his Mum in a shopping centre. So he goes to a security guard and says 'Mister, mister, I've lost my Mummy!'. So the security guard says 'Aww did you? What's she like?' And Little Kev says 'Big cocks and Vodka.' Why did Hitler commit suicide? His gasbill came in *controversial* How long does it take to open a beer? It should be open by the time she brings it to you

I'm not implying that all veggies are, but has anyone noticed that a hell of a lot of vegetarians are girls aged between 14 and 18, and that when they choose to be a veggie its clearly more of an attention seeking, 'wow this is an interesting thing I can say about myself' thing as opposed to a strong moral objection to eating meat. My mates ex swore blind she was a veggie but yet when she got hammered used to eat the doner meat off his kebab after a night out, and 'ate fish, chicken and sometimes bacon'. Hmmm..... Mike

Possibly the main reason Hull is at Number 1.

Actually, Ayr and Stranraer. Both are fucking awful, Ayr is totally full of ugly, Burberry-clad, triple-buggy wielding scum. Stranraer is full of loud-mouth, alcoholic Irish bastards who you have to spent the next 2 hours with on the ferry across to Belfast. The sort of people that are incapable of having a conversation without saying 'fuckin' every 3 words and shout when they speak to their friends. Mike

I think you're forgetting there's also parts of Belfast that you wouldn't go into because they are full of republican nutters ie. Falls Road and Short Strand.

At Hillhead in first year, me and my next door neighbour were the MASTERS of this. Anytime we were up before our mates and were really bored, we'd go to their door, set Pete's 100W amp up, plug a mike in, turn it up to 11 and shout 'LOBS! GET THE FUCK UP!' relentlessly whilst filming the whole thing for posterity, including their (usually) furious reaction when they come to the door. We got bored of that so Pete started playing 'classic' rock riffs on his Les Paul. Still got loads of videos of waking people up, absolutely hillarious if anyone wants to see them. Mike

I can't really decide but for me its between: Monster Munch Flamin' Hot Doritos Chili Heatwave Sensations Thai Sweet Chilli Tayto Cheese and Onion (Northern Irish Brand) That's my shortlist, wot about you people?! Mike PS: Actually, I'd just like to add McCoys Specials Thai Sweet Chicken to that list; brilliant crisp and a fucking travesty considering its the only flavour they don't do in the big massive bags.

- Bum Bags (or fanny packs as the yanks laughably call them)

I really suggest everyone who is even vaguely interested in Hard-Fi (ie. not the musos who are too cool to like such a popular band) should go to this gig, its gonna be brilliant. This is a group who are clearly going to be very big, and after this gig I'd put money on the fact they'll won't be 'small' enough to play Aberdeen again. If you want the chance to see them while they're on the up and not playing big venues and are liked by every Tom, Dick and Harry - go see them. I was gonna not bother then I remembered all the other big gigs in Aberdeen I've missed (Bloc Party, Razorlight, Muse) because I 'haven't been sure'. Mike

This will be shit hot. Saw them the other week at Oxegen and they were absolute fucking dynamite, the new material sounds awesome live and they give it 110% on stage. The night after Hard-Fi as well, come on!! Mike

It's not surprising really, anyone that used to be in a fairly massive group is going to get calls for old material. To be fair though, Corgan should probably have played a few Pumpkins tracks (I'm not entirely sure if he does or not in his solo shows?), like Ian Brown does and Frank Black did. Although you can understand Corgan's annoyance over this; having said that, after announcing his intention to reform the Pumpkins he should have expected it even more so than usual. That's possibly the most diplomatic post ever, apologies lol.

ouch, my foot