Football Manager 2012

[Soda Jerk]

Thanks for enjoying my pain, guys.

I was incandescent. Now I know how Wenger feels when he plays against Stoke.

Still got to the Carling Cup final, against dirty Leeds. Better get my suit pressed. Can't do the Pulis trackies and cap for a Wembley visit.

[Adam Easy Wishes]

Thanks for enjoying my pain, guys.

I was incandescent. Now I know how Wenger feels when he plays against Stoke.

Still got to the Carling Cup final, against dirty Leeds. Better get my suit pressed. Can't do the Pulis trackies and cap for a Wembley visit.

Do you play a weak team in the Carling Cup?

[Soda Jerk]

I did, yeah. Mostly all the players who were moaning about not getting first team football, and some of the kids. The team that beat Blackburn was: Lindegaard - Rafael, Forren, Evans, Fabio - Fletcher, Jones - Park, Hazard, Femenia - Berbatov. (Giggs came on for Hazard after his 6 minute deput before having his leg snapped). I have a bit of quality on the bench for if disaster strikes.

Might make it a little stronger for the final, even if it is Leeds, just to make sure I win a trophy and not get sacked in my first season, since I crashed out of the Champions League in the group stage, even though my group should have been easy. No idea how that happened.

Midfield is thin now that Tiote is gone for ACN. Hazard is injured. Cleverley is injured. Giggs takes ages to recover from one game. Fletcher is shit. Anderson is shit. Phil Jones is okay, but makes loads of gaffs. I haven't even given Darron Gibson a single second of football. Not even in the Carling Cup or friendlies. It's just a matter of principal now. I simply can't play him, or he'll think I'm weak.

[Adam Easy Wishes]

I had agreed a fee with United for Anderson in my first season (he was transfer listed), offered him a good contract and then he pulled out last minute because he "wasn't impressed with Spurs' league position".

Worked out okay, because I got Eriksen instead. He's already ace.

[Soda Jerk]

Probably for the best. Anderson is very unresponsive. He's played a few good games and scored 3 or 4 goals from a deep lying midfield position, but even when I congratulate him, he "seems to switch off", but gets pissy when I don't play him.

Carrick is spectacular though. 11 goals and 11 assists to far.

[Adam Easy Wishes]

Carrick is spectacular though. 11 goals and 11 assists to far.

Transfer listed in my game...he's the kind of player that normally I would have just bought and ended up with too many players; but with Parker, Sandro and T-Hudz, my 'holding midfield' is sorted.

[Soda Jerk]

So it turns out that if I don't beat Chelsea in the 5th round of the FA Cup, I get sacked, as I lost to them 1-0 and got sacked. I'm an unsporting cunt so I quit and went back and replayed the game, lost 2-1 and got sacked again, even though I'm top by 6 points, losing only once and drawing twice. Twatted everyone else. I'm not good enough at FM yet to manager a small club, so I'll just have to persist until I can score the opening goal, then park the bus.

I'm currently experimenting with ridiculous tactics. I played a mental 3-1-2-1-2 with 3 centre backs, 4 central midfielders, no full backs or wide midfielders and two strikers. As a result, I smashed Newcastle 6-0 and Hannover 5-1 in the first leg of the Europa knockout round. Tactical genius. Might have to give it a whirl against Chelsea.

[FOX]

I'm not good enough at FM yet to manager a small club

This probably explains why I'm so shit at the game, since I always pick Rochdale.

[Soda Jerk]

I miscounted the silly narrow formation. It's 3-1-3-1-2 with five central mids. I beat Chelsea with it to avoid the sack. They couldnt handle the narrowness. Took the fullbacks out of the game. Through ball mania!

[Moose]

I did the same thing with FM2011. I got sacked half way through my 3rd season with Blackburn. After getting them to the Champions League and winning the lager cup in season 1; getting to the quarters of the Champions League, winning the lager cup again and coming 3rd in the league in season 2: I made some transfer mistakes in season 3. Sold too many players to bring in big guns and ended up with nae players due to injury. I had about 4 youngsters in my 1st XI and an ageing David Dunn not quite pulling the strings any more. I was sitting in the top 10 and out all the cups early. A string of bad results came to a head with a 1-2 loss to Nottingham Forest and I got sacked. I had a save at the start of the season, so went back and tried my 3rd season again, with slightly more success. Still, it didn’t go so well, so I gave up L

[Adam Easy Wishes]

I'm now into my difficult third season with Spurs.

Only played the opening game of the season - a hard-fought 1-0 win against Andres Villas-Boas' Stoke City. Inspired subs - took off Lennon and Di Maria for Marin and Affelay. 75th minute Marin broke down the left and crossed low for Affelay to blast it in at the back post from six yards out. "GOOOOAAAAAL!" I shouted and pumped my fists in the direction of AVB's smug (virtual) face.

Tevez still suspended from a horror tackle at the end of last season. Need to break Cavani in gently, I think. Need to keep his confidence up and pressure off so he starts scoring goals. Looked poor v Stoke.

[FOX]

Which game was it that "ease them in gently" meant "buy someone else from the same country"?

[Soda Jerk]

I did the same thing with FM2011. I got sacked half way through my 3rd season with Blackburn. After getting them to the Champions League and winning the lager cup in season 1; getting to the quarters of the Champions League, winning the lager cup again and coming 3rd in the league in season 2: I made some transfer mistakes in season 3. Sold too many players to bring in big guns and ended up with nae players due to injury. I had about 4 youngsters in my 1st XI and an ageing David Dunn not quite pulling the strings any more. I was sitting in the top 10 and out all the cups early. A string of bad results came to a head with a 1-2 loss to Nottingham Forest and I got sacked. I had a save at the start of the season, so went back and tried my 3rd season again, with slightly more success. Still, it didn’t go so well, so I gave up L

The confidence of my board plummeted when I went out of the Champions League, despite doing well everywhere else. I think the sack is looming, even if I win the league. I probably won't because my midfield is shit.

[Soda Jerk]

Carling Cup is mine. Stuffed West Brom on penalties. I was winning 2-1, but Odemwingie scored in the last minute of extra time. The 3-1-3-1-3 formation is kicking the fuck out of everyone. They can't handle Rio, Vidic and Jones at the back, and Carrick playing through balls all day long. It's going to turn anyone over once Hazard isn't injured anymore.

[Adam Easy Wishes]

So Cavani has (thankfully) started scoring because Tevez has gone mental. I fined him for another horror tackle against Barcelona at the Camp Nou in an important Champions League game (which saw him sent off and leaving me with nine men as Hangeland had been ordered off for a last-man challenge earlier in the game). Lost 5-0.

He said I was being unfair and was disrupting morale and generally being a whiney little cuntrag. Transfer listed him and offered to clubs for £20m - Real Madrid and Barcelona place bids matching my asking price. He agrees to move to Madrid but only if I pay him £38k a week until the end of his contract (three years). Figure this is a small price to pay to restore harmony to the dressing room and accept. He's now training with the reserves until he fucks off.

Have been shipping goals a bit too easily of late, so have used the Tevez cash, complete with an injection from the board of £9.5m to agree to sign Phil Jones from United for £36.5m. Seems a bit steep, perhaps, but he's signed a five-year deal and is still only 21. Going to be a beast. Will probably ship out Younes Kaboul to recoup some of the cash. There are about 15 clubs interested in him, will probably get close to £15m.

Also agreed to sign Oscar Cardozo for a measly £2.5m. He's 30 and top scorer in Europe at present. He will replace Tevez so I will still have the four strikers I need.

Adler, Foster

Van der Wiel, Walker, Dawson, Bassong, Hangeland, Jones, Bale, Cinilla

Parker, Sandro, Huddlestone, Modric

Di Maria, Van der Vaart, Eriksen, Lennon, Affelay, Marin, Forrest

Cavani, Cardozo, Destro, Defoe

[Soda Jerk]

I'm still only in my first season, but Phil Jones isn't too hot for me. Smalling is a bit more reliable. 3 years in he might start to pick up though. Hopefully to the tune for £30-odd million anyway!

[Guest Gladstone]

This may be a stupid question, but can you play Football Manager as a multi-player game? So in the above scenarios being described, Adam could be Tottenham manager, Soda J United manager and Murr could be Barca manager all part of the same game?

Obviously, it would have to be played at the pace of the one with least time on their hands, but that would be quite good fun wouldn't it?

[Adam Easy Wishes]

This may be a stupid question, but can you play Football Manager as a multi-player game? So in the above scenarios being described, Adam could be Tottenham manager, Soda J United manager and Murr could be Barca manager all part of the same game?

Obviously, it would have to be played at the pace of the one with least time on their hands, but that would be quite good fun wouldn't it?

Yeah, you can play network games but they're notoriously difficult to get working.

Jones has been a beast for United from the start of the second season...like they're 'growing up' and developing properly. Decent.

[soundian]

Carling Cup is mine. Stuffed West Brom on penalties. I was winning 2-1, but Odemwingie scored in the last minute of extra time. The 3-1-3-1-3 formation is kicking the fuck out of everyone. They can't handle Rio, Vidic and Jones at the back, and Carrick playing through balls all day long. It's going to turn anyone over once Hazard isn't injured anymore.

I'm not surprised your 3-1-3-1-3 formation is giving people the runaround, I count 11 outfield players.

[Guest Gladstone]

He doesn't need a keeper.

[Soda Jerk]

I'm rubbish at counting formations. Especially when there's no 4's in there.

The last 3 should be a 2

[FOX]

I never understood how multiplayer FM actually worked. What, with hundreds of clubs to trade with having to focus on your mates' would be a bit weird.

[Chris]

We used to spend a large amount of time on Champ Manager Italia and Champ Manager up to 97/98 playing multiplayer games. But that was pretty much pre-internet so we all sat around the Amiga passing a mouse around when it was each player's turn to sort their team out.

I think now I'd get annoyed waiting for everyone else to finish the turn so the games could be played.

[soundian]

I used to play multi-player games with Delboy. It was a bit annoying, as Chris has figured out, playing club teams because there's all the transfer,training, scouting etc faffing about to do. We settled on playing international teams and going on holiday in between tournaments/international weeks. You only really need to think about tactics and squad selection with the international teams so you can get maximum matchtime for your session.

[Soda Jerk]

Man, dropping into the Europa League has been an absolute cunt for fatigue. My players are all fucked since I'm playing on Thursday nights and then Saturday lunchtimes. Tiote keeps saying he needs a rest. I sit him out for 3 games, and he's still only 79%. I have to sub him every game pretty much too. He just doesn't last. What a massive fanny. That big headed twat needs to harden up. It's a mans game.

So I've won the Carling Cup, FA Cup and Europa league. 3 league games left, and I only needed a draw at home against City to win the league. by the 55minute mark I've had to make all 3 subs due to everyone being cunted from the Europa Final which went all the way to extra time and penalties. My squads not that big due to injuries to most of my best players. I'm 2-1 up with 20 minutes left. Hernandez, Cleverley and Carrick all go off injured within 10 minutes. I'm down to 8 men, and all 8 of them are probably crying to come off. I try to park the bus, by playing everyone in my own half. Somehow that didn't work and I go and lose 5-2. Nani, Hazard, Valencia, Young, Welbeck, Hernandez Cleverley, Carrick all injured for the last 2 games. Rio and Tiote are crying to be rested. Everyone else is knackered. Winning the Europa League might just have killed my chances in the league. I'll probably get the sack if I don't win it. I bartered for the biggest transfer kitty with a promise of winning the league.

It doesn't help having a squad of glass-ankled fannies. Can't be doing with fucking softies. Especially as my next game is a midweek away jaunt to Stoke.