Football Manager 2012

[Alkaline]

I've lost both of my competitive games so far: 2-0 and 2-1 in the Serie C Trophy, which I'm pretty sure isn't even a real competition.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coppa_Italia_Lega_Pro ?

[Murrr]

Yeah, I can't understand why Sports Interactive didn't bother their arse to buy the rights to the Lega Pro competitions names. Serie C1 isn't a real thing. Maybe it's because I'm the only one who plays in that silly competition.

[Soda Jerk]

I'm pissing all over the league, only dropping points to an away score draw at jammy Spurs so far. I got dicked on in Europe though, and the fans aren't happy. Dunno what went wrong. Napoli were fluky and beat me 2-1 at their place, and Shakhtar smashed me 3-0 on my own turf. Now I'm in the Europa League. Suppose I better win it so the Glazers don't send me packing.

Injuries are mounting up, especially in the striking department. I had to play Ashley Young and Kiko Macheda up front in the past two games. That was lousy, losing my last CL group game and then drawing with Spurs. Missing Hernandez quite badly. He has a hernia. He's out for a couple of months. Dick.

[Murrr]

Right, I'm going to switch it up a bit. Gonna put my Pro Vercelli game on the backburner for a little bit and go Barcelona until I learn the ins and outs of the new game. I'm gonna do it with a twist, though. None of this tiki-taka tippy-tappy fluff: I'm gonna Pulis the hell out of those crazy Catalans. Long balls, hard tackles and cloggers. Laaaahvely.

[Soda Jerk]

That sounds ace. You'll need a target man for all those hoofs. You could keep it Spanish with Llorente, or you could do it properly and bring in John Carew. He'd tear Spanish defences a new arsehole.

[Murrr]

You bet. First thing to do is get rid of those milky twats Xavi and Iniesta. Too short, can't tackle, no engine. Get the hell out of my team. Then it's time to sort that Messi fella out. False nine? Not on my watch, sunshine. You're a bloody winger now kiddo. Pwopah football.

[Murrr]

Right, Operation Barcastoke is go. Brought in Ray Wilkins as assistant manager, because who doesn't love a bit of cockney, baldy Ray? Top geezer. Took a look at the coaching staff and decided the club needed an overhaul. Out go a bunch of Spanish goes, in come Dean Ashton and Duncan Ferguson to teach my namby-pamby strikers how to head, Frank Lampard's Dad 'cause he's pretty old and Jamie Redknapp to teach my players how to "give a bit of banta" and wear skinny ties.

Punted Villa (too good-looking), Xavi (not hard enough), Iniesta (midget), Maxwell (bloody Brazilians, when have they ever been good at football?), Alves (too attacking), Afellay (Holland? Total Football? Piss off to Liverpool you little mink) and a bunch of kids. In come Kevin Davies (proper striker), Michael Owen (best poacher in the world TM), Marco Materazzi and El-Hadji Diouf (I needed a couple of psychos), Rory Delap (somebody's got to teach these pricks how to throw), Albelda (ANIMAL), Pippo Inzaghi (in case Little Mickey's hammy pops again), Tony Hibbert (bomb runs up the flank? Naaaaaah. Pwopah right-back), Chris Samba and Paul Scharner (neeeded a couple of scary-looking fellas), Tim Cahill (headers!) and Emile Heskey for a laugh.

First game, drew 1-1 with Real Madrid in the Spanish Super Cup. Little Mickey opened the scoring just after half-time but that bastard Benzema spoiled it. Think I managed about 2 shots on target on this game. Second game, lost 2-0. It'll probably take a few games for this players to understand my ways. I think a tour of Iraq oughtta harden these soft twats up before La Liga starts.

Starting XI: Valdes; Hibbert, Samba, Pique (he's big, innit), Abidal; Pedro, Mascherano, Cahill, Messi; Davies, Owen. 4-4-2. Wingers, long ball, limited defenders, static full-backs, big man/little man up top. The works.

[Moose]

Right, Operation Barcastoke is go. Brought in Ray Wilkins as assistant manager, because who doesn't love a bit of cockney, baldy Ray? Top geezer. Took a look at the coaching staff and decided the club needed an overhaul. Out go a bunch of Spanish goes, in come Dean Ashton and Duncan Ferguson to teach my namby-pamby strikers how to head, Frank Lampard's Dad 'cause he's pretty old and Jamie Redknapp to teach my players how to "give a bit of banta" and wear skinny ties.

Punted Villa (too good-looking), Xavi (not hard enough), Iniesta (midget), Maxwell (bloody Brazilians, when have they ever been good at football?), Alves (too attacking), Afellay (Holland? Total Football? Piss off to Liverpool you little mink) and a bunch of kids. In come Kevin Davies (proper striker), Michael Owen (best poacher in the world TM), Marco Materazzi and El-Hadji Diouf (I needed a couple of psychos), Rory Delap (somebody's got to teach these pricks how to throw), Albelda (ANIMAL), Pippo Inzaghi (in case Little Mickey's hammy pops again), Tony Hibbert (bomb runs up the flank? Naaaaaah. Pwopah right-back), Chris Samba and Paul Scharner (neeeded a couple of scary-looking fellas), Tim Cahill (headers!) and Emile Heskey for a laugh.

First game, drew 1-1 with Real Madrid in the Spanish Super Cup. Little Mickey opened the scoring just after half-time but that bastard Benzema spoiled it. Think I managed about 2 shots on target on this game. Second game, lost 2-0. It'll probably take a few games for this players to understand my ways. I think a tour of Iraq oughtta harden these soft twats up before La Liga starts.

Starting XI: Valdes; Hibbert, Samba, Pique (he's big, innit), Abidal; Pedro, Mascherano, Cahill, Messi; Davies, Owen. 4-4-2. Wingers, long ball, limited defenders, static full-backs, big man/little man up top. The works.

We have a winner. You have won.

[Gypsum_Fantastic]

Loving this thread, keep it up!

[Murrr]

Turns out Barcelona are even good at hoofball. Lost an unlucky 2-1 to Porto in the Super Cup but blasted Villarreal 3-0 in my first league game with Owen, Messi (penalty) and Pique (corner) on the score sheet. Kevin Davies played a blinder in the next game and scored the opener in a 2-0 win over Sociedad, with Chris Samba adding a second from a corner. Bunted that insolent little bugger Fabregas into the B team because he wouldn't leave over the summer. That'll learn him. I'm quite tempted to player him as a sweeper launching massive hoofs up to Kev Dav though. We'll see.

[Soda Jerk]

Did booting that many players out the door effect morale at all? With United I personally packed the bags of Rooney, Gibson, BM Diouf, and Jonny Evans, and my players weren't too pleased at the "disharmony" in the squad. Players were worried they were next, or some shit. Fucking puffs.

Great story so far anyway. The beautiful game!

[Murrr]

It did, yeah. Everyone was a bit pissed-off when I punted Xavi and Iniesta especially, but I think the widespread elation at securing Tony Hibbert's signature overrode the disappointment.

Playing ridiculous well at the moment. Kevin Davies just scored a hat-trick to beat Osasuna 4-0. We're top after 3 games and we've just beat Olympiakos 2-1 in the Champions League, with Messi scoring a header inside a crowded six yard box. The little bastard has been amazing on the left wing: he just bombs down the line and blasts a cross for Davies to head home or knock down for Owen/Pedro. The team are already "fluid" in all aspects of the tactic too.

[The Milner]

Why havent you already signed Heskey and Darrius Vassel as your back up strikers??!!!

[Murrr]

"Your capture of Tony Hibbert, who the fans believe to be an extremely good player, has been particularly pleasing." What the hell?

I have Heskey on the bench but Davies' superior form means he's barely getting any minutes. I brought Inzaghi in instead of Vassell for sentimental reasons.

[Spoonie]

The team are already "fluid" in all aspects of the tactic too.

When you say "all" is it not more like "both"? Punt and score?

[Murrr]

I'm amazed at how well the season is going. Nine league games, eight wins, one draw, zero goals conceded. Three Champions League games, three wins. Kevin Davies has been struck down by an injury that'll keep him sidelined for 4-5 weeks but Big Emile has been banging them in in his absence. In true Big Sam style I've had to play Chris Samba up front a couple of times and he's done a sterling job beside Michael Owen. Pippo hasn't scored yet, though. Disaster.

My central midfielders have been pretty average, but that's hardly surprising. They're bypassed for most of the game as the ball always gets hoofed to either Davies or the wingers. Mascherano's job is to stand in the middle and break people and Cahill's just there for the headers. What a team. Maybe I'll last the season after all.

[Adam Easy Wishes]

This thread makes me want to pack in my job and play FM all day every day.

[Soda Jerk]

You should sack off your insightful and well informed Italian Football blog, and write a blog about how you are grabbing hold of Spanish Football by the lugholes and ripping it a new arsehole.

[Gypsum_Fantastic]

I'm in no way a noob to this game but i can't quite manage to work out how to add downloaded training packs/tactics to 12, seems different to 11. Any help?

[Adam Easy Wishes]

I'm in no way a noob to this game but i can't quite manage to work out how to add downloaded training packs/tactics to 12, seems different to 11. Any help?

I just save them directly onto my desktop and navigate to there via the 'import' menu in FM. You don't need to drop them into any specific folder if you do it this way (and I don't believe it matters if once they're imported to the game you delete them/move them somewhere more convenient to store the files). Does that make sense?

[Gypsum_Fantastic]

I just save them directly onto my desktop and navigate to there via the 'import' menu in FM. You don't need to drop them into any specific folder if you do it this way (and I don't believe it matters if once they're imported to the game you delete them/move them somewhere more convenient to store the files). Does that make sense?

i'll have to check once im home but im pretty sure thats the way i normally do it i think im more lost looking for the import bit, i could just be very very thick.

[Soda Jerk]

Just twatted Liverpool 6-0. Hernandez scored 5 after a 6 game goal drought. Dalglish got the sack the same day. The same beautiful day. Hallelujah.

Tell you what I don't appreciate though. Nicholas fucking Bendtner scoring from 35 yards out. I thought this game was suppose to be realistic? What a fucking donkey.

[Adam Easy Wishes]

Niclas Bendtner is ace.

So, finished my second season in 2nd place behind Man Utd who eventually finished the business end of the league 6 points in front of me. They were 9 points clear from Christmas, with both of us on a mad winning streak. I just couldn't make ground on them. Then they dropped some points prior to a 'six pointer' at OT where I went 1-0 up early on, then Witsel and Rooney were sent off for United and in the fucking 82nd minute, Hernandez scored to make it 1-1. Jammy bastards.

Despite good wins against Arsenal, Liverpool and Man City in the run-in I still fell short.

Did all my close-season business before going to bed last night (1am) - shipped out Scott Brown, Danny Rose and Ched Evans; Adebayor went back to Man City; van Nistelrooy, Gallas, Friedel retired - signed Marko Marin (free), Edinson Cavani (£27m), Ben Foster (£2m - suitable cover for Adler and also fills a 'homegrown' place), and two young regens (Raul at £2.5m and Jiminez at £3.7m - both wingers/strikers).

Squaaad now looks like this:

GK- Rene Adler; Ben Foster

DF- Gregory van der Wiel; Kyle Walker; Younes Kaboul; Brede Hangeland; Michael Dawson; Sebastien Bassong; Gareth Bale; young Dutch regen I can't remember the name of

MD- Scott Parker; Sandro; Tom Huddlestone; Luka Modric; Rafael van der Vaart; Christian Eriksen; Marko Marin; Ibrahim Affelay; Aaron Lennon; Angel Di Maria; James Forrest

FW- Edinson Cavani; Jermaine Defoe; Carlos Tevez; Raul; Jiminez

Hopefully Cavani will step up and score the goals that Tevez struggled to get last season. Really wanted Llorente but he just signed a new four-year deal and I couldn't afford him

Need to win a trophy.

[Moose]

Remember that you can never go wrong with a spot of Oscar Cardozo from Benefica. That's my only advice.

[Soda Jerk]

January window just opened, and I wasn't planning on bringing anyone big in, but my scouts kept going mad about Eden Hazard, so I put in a bid just to shut them up, expecting to have it rejected, or at least have his agent demand stupid fees and mental wages. Next thing I know, the Glazers have taken over preceedings, and they take control of the bid and the contract negotiations without me. Never had that happen before... I hear nothing for a week, and then I get told that Hazard is now in my squad, for a meagre £39million. Can't complain really. I sold Rooney for £48million to Inter Milan at the start of the season, but the Glazers only gave me £21million of it to spend. Good to see those soccer-mad Yanks open the cheque book instead of raking in all my incomings, the leeching cunts.

Perfect singing, considering Cleverley is out long term, and now I've got Nani and Hernandez injured. Berbatov, Welbeck and Owen are good finishers, but I just got no service from the midfield. Brilliant I thought. I slotted him straight into my 4-2-3-1 as the central figure. Put your shirt on Eden, and your snood. It's fucking January, mate.

6 minutes into his debut against Blackburn in the Carling Cup semi final second leg, he collides with Paul Robinson. Broken leg. Out for the season. Sega are cruel, cruel bastards.