Oedo 808 Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 Post your lyrics in here, either with links to the accompanying music (preferred) or on their own.Also, if there's a lyric you have and can't think of something to follow on from it or if you're just plain stuck here might be a good place to seek some collective advice.Please try to keep the feedback as constructive as possible and in good spirit.______________________________________________________In fact, I'll post this up just to get the ball rolling:POINT OF ORIGIN on PureVolume.comPoppy, 18, from SomersetPoppy, 18, from SomersetYoure an Angel in the paper I just cant forgetFrom the first time that I saw page 3And found you looking back at meI admit, my heart, skipped a beatI dont know if I'll ever feel the sameI just want to take you on a dateCos you make me want to master-mindA way for us to be together, foreverJust tell me what you wantTell me what you needIll do it gladly for youI dont want anything to stand in my wayI want you so badly (I really do)Although it may be wrong youre the girl I cant forgetYou're Poppy, 18, from SomersetOh Poppy, 18, from Somerset,Please dont think Im crazy cos Im not there yetI just want to make you seeThat you could be the girl for meWell dance the night awaySo breathless but Im happy all the sameCan you catch these words straight from my lips?As you catch me staring at your eyesThat I just want to look right into foreverJust tell me what you wantTell me what you needIll do it gladly for youI dont want anything to stand in my wayI want you so badly (I deeply do)Although it may be wrong youre the girl I cant forgetPoppy, 18, from SomersetAnd though weve never met at allYour picture looks so happy on my wallIts a silly fantasyI just hope you take these words as flattery...And then give me a call Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 Ok, I'll shoot first:Plastic, The UnderkillsThe Underkills on MySpace Music - Free Streaming MP3s, Pictures & Music DownloadsYou like to shop till you dropIt's all about the make up, tip topShit hot, so hot it hurtsBut it's only on the outsideYou're so plastic, fake-tantasticWalking like the street's a catwalkIt's all about the fake talk, non-stopYou talk so much it hurtsYou are really ugly on the insideYou're so plastic, fake-tantasticFor what it's worth, deep down it hurtsYou're so unsure and insecureYou can't decide.........Nowhere to hideYou're whole life's a fashion showIt's all about the big show, all goShallow, so low it hurtsYou think it's worth it in the endYou're so plastic, fake-tantasticFor what it's worth, deep down it hurtsYou're so unsure and insecureYou can't decide.........Nowhere to hide Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 Post your lyrics in here, either with links to the accompanying music (preferred) or on their own.Also, if there's a lyric you have and can't think of something to follow on from it or if you're just plain stuck here might be a good place to seek some collective advice.Please try to keep the feedback as constructive as possible and in good spirit.I've always thought you are a superb lyricist Bob, but I don't think Poppy 18 represents your best work. You use a lot of wordplay and stuff in your songs that I really like, Stayover in particular had some great lyrics. This one is just a little bit too fluffy and pop-punk-by-numbers for my palate, it's like Point Of Origin-lite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Easy Wishes Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 Do it, Bob. Get Bring on the Sluts up here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oedo 808 Posted December 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 I've always thought you are a superb lyricist Bob, but I don't think Poppy 18 represents your best work. You use a lot of wordplay and stuff in your songs that I really like, Stayover in particular had some great lyrics. This one is just a little bit too fluffy and pop-punk-by-numbers for my palate, it's like Point Of Origin-lite.It sounds weird but when I was writing this one I deliberately made the lyrics simple, verging on obvious. I wasn't holding Poppy up as my best lyrics, but it happens to be online which was convenient when I was starting this thread. I totally get what you're saying though, I'm just pleased you like some of my lyrics! Haha.Do it, Bob. Get Bring on the Sluts up here.Ask and yee shal receive. POINT OF ORIGIN on PureVolume.comVerse 1Knowing different girls and being nice to them was boring,All I ever wanted from them was a little whoring,That's when I saw her one day just walking down Canal Street,Staring at her boobies but eventually our eyes meet,There is something special bout a girl that don't care,You're staring at her body and you want your hands there,Well she knew me in one second and she said "Hey boy, you're in luck...""Would you like to fuck?"BreakVerse 2Okay so Im lying cos that really didnt happen,I wish it really did cos Ive been wanking like a madman,Been with this chick for ages she thinks shes kinda special,If I dont get some pussy soon I think that Ill go mental,There is something fucked up bout a girl that don't care,You're staring at her body and you want your hands there,Its so wrong its like Ive got this itch,Im gonna dump that bitch!ChorusSo Bring On The Sluts,Cos theres never enough,Of girls who like dick,Hell it makes me sick when,Girls who are nice,Wont take my advice,Just leave me alone,Cos I need a fuckin slut to bone.Hold me in the morning now tell me that Im special,You can get your pants off get your fucking pants off,All my friends hate you boy they say youre hyper-sexual,You can get your pants off get your fucking pants off,Give me lots of presents and you can kiss and hug me,You can get your pants off get your fucking pants off,Look me in the eyes right now and tell me that you love me,You can get your pants off RIGHT NOW!Verse 3Please dont get me wrong now girls you need to understand me,Sluts not a bad word at all cos eventually youll know we -Men like girls who like to fuck and fuck their reputation,All that shit is just made up to ruin situations,When will the world just look around and drop their double standard?If there were no sluts to dick then we would all be angered,By a world where we must be alone and think I might explode,If I dont shoot my load.BreakVerse 4Knowing different girls and being nice to them was boring,All I ever wanted from them was a little whoring,That's when I saw her one night just walking down Canal Street,Staring at her boobies but eventually our eyes meet,There is something special bout a girl that don't care,You're staring at her body and you want your hands there,Its so wrong it might even be crass,She takes it up the ass.Chorus etc etc etc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 This is the first song Cobra Kai wrote, it's called Sins Of The Flesh, I wrote the lyrics about three years ago. The "meaning" if you will alludes to the old adages "for every door that closes another opens" or "every cloud has a silver lining"- ie if you're moping around and feeling sad because something shitty happened to you (eg you lose your job or break up with your girlfriend etc.) stay positive, dust yourself down and get back on the horse because something 100 times better may be just around the corner (eg you then stumble into the job of your dreams or meet your soul mate), and it wouldn't have happened if the shitty thing hadn't happened in the first place.Though admittedly some of it is just words that rhyme that I thought sounded cool.Cobra Kai on MySpace Music - Free Streaming MP3s, Pictures & Music DownloadsSINS OF THE FLESHV1Ripple effect,Causes shipwrecks,When you throw stones.No-one chooses,Cuts and bruises,And broken bones.Young and graceful,If she is faithful,I will stay clean.Ostracized,Remove eyes,We are obscene.CHORUSI learned from my mistakesA broken heart can be replacedBut it takes it out of youBy running from my fearsI haven't aged a day in yearsTrust is there to be abusedV2I am readyYou are readyWe will take turnsI am waitingFor the day whenBridges are burnedWatch the blood spillFrom the love killVictimless crimeThis is epicAntisepticSign of the times.CHORUSI learned from my mistakesA broken heart can be replacedBut it takes it out of youBy running from my fearsI haven't aged a day in yearsTrust is there to be abusedCODAThe perfect plan,The perfect foilTo the victor goes the spoilsTime and placeAge and racePerfect body, perfect face Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oedo 808 Posted December 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 Ok, I'll shoot first:Plastic, The UnderkillsI'm really liking this song and I do have a few thoughts on it, but I'll get back to you on that as I have to go just now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 It sounds weird but when I was writing this one I deliberately made the lyrics simple, verging on obvious. I wasn't holding Poppy up as my best lyrics, but it happens to be online which was convenient when I was starting this thread. I totally get what you're saying though, I'm just pleased you like some of my lyrics! Haha.Ask and yee shal receive. POINT OF ORIGIN on PureVolume.comVerse 1Knowing different girls and being nice to them was boring,All I ever wanted from them was a little whoring,That's when I saw her one day just walking down Canal Street,Staring at her boobies but eventually our eyes meet,There is something special bout a girl that don't care,You're staring at her body and you want your hands there,Well she knew me in one second and she said "Hey boy, you're in luck...""Would you like to fuck?"BreakVerse 2Okay so Im lying cos that really didnt happen,I wish it really did cos Ive been wanking like a madman,Been with this chick for ages she thinks shes kinda special,If I dont get some pussy soon I think that Ill go mental,There is something fucked up bout a girl that don't care,You're staring at her body and you want your hands there,Its so wrong its like Ive got this itch,Im gonna dump that bitch!ChorusSo Bring On The Sluts,Cos theres never enough,Of girls who like dick,Hell it makes me sick when,Girls who are nice,Wont take my advice,Just leave me alone,Cos I need a fuckin slut to bone.Hold me in the morning now tell me that Im special,You can get your pants off get your fucking pants off,All my friends hate you boy they say youre hyper-sexual,You can get your pants off get your fucking pants off,Give me lots of presents and you can kiss and hug me,You can get your pants off get your fucking pants off,Look me in the eyes right now and tell me that you love me,You can get your pants off RIGHT NOW!Verse 3Please dont get me wrong now girls you need to understand me,Sluts not a bad word at all cos eventually youll know we -Men like girls who like to fuck and fuck their reputation,All that shit is just made up to ruin situations,When will the world just look around and drop their double standard?If there were no sluts to dick then we would all be angered,By a world where we must be alone and think I might explode,If I dont shoot my load.BreakVerse 4Knowing different girls and being nice to them was boring,All I ever wanted from them was a little whoring,That's when I saw her one night just walking down Canal Street,Staring at her boobies but eventually our eyes meet,There is something special bout a girl that don't care,You're staring at her body and you want your hands there,Its so wrong it might even be crass,She takes it up the ass.Chorus etc etc etcI thought this was really good until the third verse, some ropey rhymes and indeed lines in there (the reputation/situation one for example). I think the third verse is superfluous and the song would work better without it, which raises a good point about lyrics - editing and arranging are important too. Less is sometimes more.Will chuck one of mine up later when I can be bothered typing it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 Here's one of my newest ones... hasn't ever been aired in public and the actualy song is somewhat unfinished...An idea that stemmed from nothing really, and the first complete song I've written in terms of writing the music to go with it on the bass, rather than handing the lyrics to our frontman who writes all our songs. The song has a much darker sound then most of the Underkills stuff, and sounds like the ramblings of a madman or something. Difficult to describe without the music to back it up. It's pretty much about admiring the talents of others, and wishing I was some sort of genius...Thom Yorke, Thom YorkeSometimes I wish I had some talentFind some magic and just bag itSometimes I wish I could sing for youBut I can't so I'll write this thing for youSometimes I wish I could impress youWine you and dine you and undress youSometimes I wish I could dance with youHold you close and just kiss youSometimes I wish I had some talentFind some magic and just bag itI talk and I talk, I talk and talkI wish I could sing just like Thom YorkeBridgeJagger had the moves, Elvis had the grooveOasis had the news, Cobain had the bluesLennon had the talk, Cash had the walkWish I could sing, just like Thom YorkeChorusI wish I could sing, like Thom York can singHe's the one for me (He really does it to me)BridgeChorusOutroI wish I could sing like Thom YorkeI wish I could sign like Thom Yorkeetc etc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheTickingTime-Bomb Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 Vulturesbringin out the big guns isee vultures isee vulturestheres wedding bells all year roundin my bloodstream inmy bloodstream impickin up the david starim done thinkin imdone thinkin &all your children laugh a hole in my headwith beaks twisting &beaks twisting & imbringing out the big guns isee vultures isee vultures Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 This is the first song Cobra Kai wrote, it's called Sins Of The Flesh, I wrote the lyrics about three years ago. The "meaning" if you will alludes to the old adages "for every door that closes another opens" or "every cloud has a silver lining"- ie if you're moping around and feeling sad because something shitty happened to you (eg you lose your job or break up with your girlfriend etc.) stay positive, dust yourself down and get back on the horse because something 100 times better may be just around the corner (eg you then stumble into the job of your dreams or meet your soul mate), and it wouldn't have happened if the shitty thing hadn't happened in the first place.Though admittedly some of it is just words that rhyme that I thought sounded cool.Cobra Kai on MySpace Music - Free Streaming MP3s, Pictures & Music DownloadsI think that song is magic - I've told you that before.I can't listen to it just now whilst at work, but the vocals work perfectly with the song from memory. I'm a fan of using short lyrics/lines if it suits the song. Someone said above, sometimes less is more. These lyrics are quite cool, sometimes a bit nonsensical, but I quite like that as well!Many of my lyrics get 1 or 2 verses stripped right out of them so that the song can be down to under 20 minutes long... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 Hmm why not. Everyone else is doing it. Here's one I wrote for Cap Sant. It's short, because we weren't really a verse/chorus kind of band. Stuff just kinda happened.Sickly smitten ailing fickle spits and fits of the something-somethings.So, chin up and choke on chalk dregs.Sweat soaked tippled tippy-toes athwart cable-car skid-marksSo, chin up and choke on chalk dregs.Muscle through ersatz residue and robust pseudo-Osaka Flu.So, chin up and choke on chalk dregs.A scarcity of meds. Abundance left for dead. Cerebral abstinence.We're not going to make it last.No, we're not going to make it.It was originally about faking the sniffles to shirk responsibility, but it was chopped and changed so much that it just became about faking the sniffles. Important stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Zero Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 It's hard to judge without the context of the music but so far the Cobra Kai one is the only one that I would be interested in hearing - apart from the antiseptic bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diarmaid Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 Buena VistaNight falls ona whirlwind romanceLost in the Americas with a girl with two left feet.Who would've thought that I'd be the dancer,The helpless romantic falling down the street.Cuba's got a nice street lit feel,Miles away from that renegade biker.Castro, had the right idea no where else seems so real,I'm lost in the Americas with a girl like her.But she don't love me,She lives for the Buena Vista Social Club,Ry Cooder flows through her head,and she sees her love for Cuba in everything she read.I sat by a girl in a red dress,Asked if she would like a drink.She said that she was already spoken forDeluded she sat, waiting for Ry Cooder orAny member of the Buena Vista Social Club,She had more chance with an audience with Fidel.But still she turned me down,Just on the offchance Ry Cooder would stroll in and buy her round Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 Buena VistaNight falls ona whirlwind romanceLost in the Americas with a girl with two left feet.Who would've thought that I'd be the dancer,The helpless romantic falling down the street.Cuba's got a nice street lit feel,Miles away from that renegade biker.Castro, had the right idea no where else seems so real,I'm lost in the Americas with a girl like her.But she don't love me,She lives for the Buena Vista Social Club,Ry Cooder flows through her head,and she sees her love for Cuba in everything she read.I sat by a girl in a red dress,Asked if she would like a drink.She said that she was already spoken forDeluded she sat, waiting for Ry Cooder orAny member of the Buena Vista Social Club,She had more chance with an audience with Fidel.But still she turned me down,Just on the offchance Ry Cooder would stroll in and buy her roundSome really terrible rhymes there, biker and like her eurgh. Maybe it sounds better when you hear it, sometimes difficult to put these things in context without the music. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diarmaid Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 Some really terrible rhymes there, biker and like her eurgh. Maybe it sounds better when you hear it, sometimes difficult to put these things in context without the music.Ha, yeah, not going to try pass that off as anything other than clutching at straws, but hey. Aye, sometimes the music can serve to hide terrible rhymes, sometimes not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 OK, here's a short one that won't take too long to write out:My exes all got marriedIt's sad but it's trueAll the girls I thought I lovedAged fourteen to twenty twoI've often wondered how they managed Without me in their livesBut now I know, thanks to BeboThat they're all someone elses wivesIt's not like I'm a stalkerBut I was just curious to seeHow the hell they managedTo get through life without meDo they pine in isolationWhile waiting patiently?But when I see their face on MyspaceThey're as happy as can beSo goodbye Jenny WatsonSo long Laura JonesI must bid adieu to Laura PettigrewShe never writes, she never phonesBut it doesn't have to end this wayI'll have a second chance of courseI'll just take a look on FacebookAfter they get divorced 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 I'm not exactly one for writing proper lyrics...Recent for Uncalm:Its not their cross to fucking bare, but you're the cunt with the nails, step back, think of that life or are you blind? you fucking cunt. / I hope you fucking die on that piss stained matress you call your fucking home you stupid ignorant junkie cunt / what the fuck are you trying to prove? do you think this makes you fucking hard? what the fuck are you trying to prove? do you think this makes you fucking hard? it doesnt you fucking cunt.Other shite:Vile loathed racist pig flipbook / PTO / Queen, princess, medeity / the circus is coming to town / VIP ringisde access / cinema stadium white hot spotlight / Just a week / postpone and change season / loss of interest / matching shirts / the circus has left / the clowns remain / just a week Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest idol_wild Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 Ok, I'll shoot first:Plastic, The UnderkillsThe Underkills on MySpace Music - Free Streaming MP3s, Pictures & Music DownloadsYou like to shop till you dropIt's all about the make up, tip topShit hot, so hot it hurtsBut it's only on the outsideYou're so plastic, fake-tantasticWalking like the street's a catwalkIt's all about the fake talk, non-stopYou talk so much it hurtsYou are really ugly on the insideYou're so plastic, fake-tantasticFor what it's worth, deep down it hurtsYou're so unsure and insecureYou can't decide.........Nowhere to hideYou're whole life's a fashion showIt's all about the big show, all goShallow, so low it hurtsYou think it's worth it in the endYou're so plastic, fake-tantasticFor what it's worth, deep down it hurtsYou're so unsure and insecureYou can't decide.........Nowhere to hideWas this your B-Side submission to Barbie Girl? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkaline Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 Not that i often put forth lyrical ideas but this is one of my efforts:With eyes closed. Lapsed and desolateWe lay waste to the incumbent with fists of virtueAnd save grace for the wearyBathed in pity and misfortuneA life unbearable, a life taken.Burdened by misdeedTo be led by example.A martyr? No, a simple man.Words of pity. Voiced by many menSerpent tongued, this poison whispered with bitterest breath.Deceitful yet resplendent in form.A hallowed bell rung with distaste.Sounding a death knell, a new eraOf hope resounding:"Let us make man in our image".This earth a corpseThe hands that sullied the pastureThe harvesters of ill willWhat would we give to forget.Burdened by misdeedTo be led by example.A martyr? No, a savage man.Bitter tongued and unwelcome.A living being, you shall surely die.This earth a corpseThe hands that sullied the pastureThe harvesters of ill willWhat would we give to forget.Lay hold the dragon, the serpent of times gone.Fallen under wings of distrust and falsehood.We mourn the passing of brother and sisterWith wry smiles, shielded by apathy.Touched by hands that sullied the pastureThe harvesters of ill will.Led by example. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Easy Wishes Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 Was this your B-Side submission to Barbie Girl? Haha, excellent! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest idol_wild Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 Lyrics to Thirst:Debutant on MySpace Music - Free Streaming MP3s, Pictures & Music DownloadsFollowed by eyes that I no longer see,I know my levee has burst.So roll up and drink me deeply,I know you'll get there first.I know I know I know I know,I know you'll get there first.The light and the warmth as one,Shields me from your thirst.So roll up and drink me deeply,I know I'd rather not be cursed.I know I know I know I know,I know you'll get their thirst.I know you'll get there first.I know you'll get their thirst. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swingin' Ryan Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 Good thread. My favourites so far have been Original Spies and TheTickingTimeBomb.Here's my most recent proper lyrics.Field Notes From the Precipice.Now I'm in the snare, and my hind legs are trapped like a fox,I bit down upon the leather strap and I took the shocks.Weathered the pain as it coarsed through my veins, oh, the snapping and cracking of wires.The smell of the smoke as it rose from my skin was like the cinders of churchyard Bonfires.Once, I was a champion.Oh their tongues, calloused tongues! Liars rasp that spits blood onto bedsheets and medical gowns.Both the quick and the dead will be judged, it is said, by their sins when this tired ship goes down.So I'll never trust fate because fate doesn't know if I'll pirouette into the sea,and if the salty slate-grey of the ocean still calls, then the call remains only for me.Oh salvation, damnation, divinity, luck, I have made no friend of you yet.I still believe we are just hopeless beings clung to a rock in a constant descent,But once, I was a champion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
framheim Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 good idea for a thread. here are the lyrics to winter in siberia - waves:The boats gone down, all hands were lostthis bountiful harvest comes at great costthis time all i wanted was just to winthis time i'm coming home againthis time i'll catch more than enoughthis time i'll give all this upoh, this time, it wasn't to bedarling, my darling, i'm lost at seaand the waves, keep poundinglike our hearts keep poundingthe boats gone down, all hands were lostthis bountiful harvest comes at great costthis time there won't be a light in the norththis time we won't be greeted with warmththis time this ships not sailing homethis time we lie by neptunes throneoh, this time, it wasn't to bedarling, my darling, i'm lost at seaand the waves, keep poundinglike our hearts keep pounding Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KimyReizeger Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 Definitely prefer the repetition and abstract style of Idol_wild than the lengthy, more literal story-type ones.Is there really any point in writing a narrative when after all you're singing a tune and no-one's really following beginnings, middles and ends? I like a story in song, but you need a pretty talented person to pull it off, I think:YouTube - Lonnie Donegan- The battle of New Orleans Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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