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Pictures that make you actually laugh out loud


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Guest idol_wild
Mainly funny because its exactly how I feel at work.

naughty-memes-at-least-there-was-no-explosive-gas.jpg

Me too. But when someone s(h)its in the cubicle next to you, you know you're in for a lengthy stay of execution.

That said, if someone comes into the next cubicle and does those big echoey pre-poop farts into the toilet bowl, I do find myself having to resist lolling.

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Me too. But when someone s(h)its in the cubicle next to you, you know you're in for a lengthy stay of execution.

That said, if someone comes into the next cubicle and does those big echoey pre-poop farts into the toilet bowl, I do find myself having to resist lolling.

Luckily there's only one cubicle at work. So I don't hear other people.

I also notice when I do hear people coming in, I raise my middle finger to them and silenty mouth "fuck off I'm pooping" safe in the knowledge they can't see me behind the doors.

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6807.jpg

I got a reply asking if the 'item' was for sale when I was selling ps3 games on gumtree. I sent a reply going yes i can sell as a lot if you offer a price.

I then got an almost identical reply to that one stating I needed to give them Paypal info and I should ship it.

Oh yeah. It was a ps3 they were after for 150.

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Guest idol_wild
Someone else doing pre-poop farts gives me the mad lols. I find poops and farts unbelievably funny.

EDIT: This is my 500th post and it's about poops and farts. I have arrived.

It's just the reverb that toilet pots offer the pre-poop fart to accentuate it. Must resist laughing out loud.

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I covered this in a blog once.

Tuesday' date=' 5 December 2006

Post 398 - Pooping

I work in the offices of one of the world's biggest oil and gas corporations. I won't mention the name of the corporation, but it's a big one, you'll have heard of it. The job? Turning up at 9 o'clock every morning in a suit and swanning around pretending I'm important, just like all the other phonies. The difference between me and my colleagues however is that I don't even know what it is that I'm supposed to do, and I just blag my way through most days. In fact, for all I know everybody else does exactly the same thing - it's not like I would know.

The building I work in is a great place to work - as well as comfortably housing several hundred staff, it boasts a fully functioning restuarant; a coffee lounge; a dry-cleaners; a photo-lab; a gym; squash courts, and is fully environmentally controlled, so your office stays at the same temperature and humidity all by itself regardless of the weather. It reminds me of the building in Gremlins 2. Also we each have a security swipecard to get into each corridor, and if you try to get through a door you're not supposed to, it flashes red and beeps angrily like in a James Bond movie. Employees of course enjoy all the perks of the job, including a free 3 course meal every day, with delights such as roast beef, steak, salmon, and a glass of wine; free coffee machines on every floor; creche facilities; sports and social clubs; and free classes so you can learn a foreign language on your lunch break.

All in all, it's a great place to work, with just 2 major drawbacks:

1 - The baked potatoes at lunch are never cooked all the way through.

2 - It's impossible to have a poop in peace.

Let's ignore the baked potato issue for the moment and go straight on to number 2, so to speak. Each block in my building has 5 floors, and a men's room on each floor. In my block, all the gents toilets are directly above each other, and regardless of which floor you're on, they are laid out exactly the same way. When you open the door, there are two cubicles directly on your right, followed by two urinals, and then a window. On the opposite wall, oddly enough on your left when you come in the door, are a row of wash-basins. This for me presents a problem. Generally when I take a dump I find it difficult to relax when there's just a flimsy sheet of MDF which doesn't reach the floor or the roof stopping everyone else in the room from hearing, and smelling, everything I'm doing. Many's the time I've heard conversations between colleagues take place mere feet away from where I'm sitting, which could be rudely interrupted by a noisy splashback were I not being forced to take careful precautions. Who wants to have to take careful precautions in order to drop the kids off in peace?

Far and away a worse situation however, is when somebody takes up position in the neighbouring cubicle. In my mind, surely one of the most disgusting and inappropriate moments in anyone's life is when you're taking a shit, and there's just a flimsy sheet of MDF that doesn't reach the roof or the floor between you and someone else who's taking a shit. Invariably, this event follows an established pattern. Generally, when I hear the door to the toilets open, in my head I repeat "don't go in the cubicle, don't go in the cubicle", but alas, often they do. I hear the door to the neighbouring dumpstation close and lock, I hear trousers being unzipped, and I hear clothes loosening. A few moments pass, and I hear a couple of quacky fart noises resonating around the porcelain as the chocolate hostage prepares itself for liberation. At this point I feel it is necessary to make it quite plain to the dumper next door that I am there and do not wish to hear his movements, so I make some rather loud throat clearing and foot tapping noises so he realises he is not alone. For the next few minutes as I am finishing up I hear grunts of pain and discomfort escaping over and under the wall as he, embarrased at realising that someone heard his farts, tries to stop the thing he started. And to be honest, it amuses me, so sometimes I hang around for just a few minutes longer than necessary, thinking of the anguish the poor guy must be in desperate to take a shit and being that close.

I would exchange all the free steak, salmon, wine, and French lessons for a stand-alone crapper. Or at least a stall with walls and a door that reach that ceiling and the floor. Is that too much to ask? Pooping on company time is supposed to be a joyous experience and they've taken that luxury away. Perhaps it's time to look for another job.

Song currently stuck in my head - "Party Up In Here" by DMX

[email']elwoodsodyssey@hotmail.co.uk

Posted by Elwood at 16:53 0 comments

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If all of us are so scared to take a shit when someone else comes in, who are these mad poopers who come in and start shitting while we're in the next one? If i'm totally honest a few minutes taking a shit is the best part of my shift every morning, these guys fucking ruin it.

Hi!

I don't care if someone else is shitting around me while I'm on the bog. I didn't realise that anyone did until now. You're all weird.

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