Jump to content
aberdeen-music

Seagull Attack!


Recommended Posts

  • 11 months later...
  • Replies 193
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

the following tale is true:

I saw a guy just outside sainsburys who had obviously been out jogging. he had shorts, wife beater, walkman....the works.

he had stopped by the traffic lights and was avoiding a seagull which was swooping down in front of busses to get to him.

he was there 20 minutes before the lighbulb above his head dimly shone. he started taking off his clothes.

"i know, maybe the seagull hates my shirt"

weird

dont know how he eventually got away

One would have thought he could have tried the running thing he was already doing. Tube!

We are victims of our own fucking mess. The gulls are here because we feed them with the crap we leave lying around.

We are shit long live the gulls!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

walking in to work today I saw too baby seagulls sitting at the bottom of the car park. no adults in site. then I get closer to my door, and theres 2 adults on opposite roof tops, and I swear they were talking to each other saying "its him again, fuck him!"

queue one take off, fly past, turn and swoop attack in my direction. Didnt get very close, but still, cunts!

And I smell mint today. Like actual mint, thanks to Original Source shower gel.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Chain of events?! Not just a sore cock?? I am now intruiged...

Full details:

1. Got mint source on bell end

2. Screeched in pain as my cock tried to do a retreating act into my body

3. Tried using shower spray to wash it off, felt like diluting it was only making it worse and getting it in/on other places

4. Decide to try toweling it off.

5. Shampoo that was on my head starts running into my eyes causing me to go arse over tit over the side of the bath (combination of not being able to see, wet feet and minty fresh cock)

6. Land on floor grab towel and address cock related problem first.

7. De-shampoo eyes.

8. Think i'm alright , go for a piss an hour later and realise i must have got some up my japper during the shower head rinse off and subsequently feel like i'm pissing machetes for the rest of the day.

Not fun in the slightest, though very funny in hindsight.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Full details:

1. Got mint source on bell end

2. Screeched in pain as my cock tried to do a retreating act into my body

3. Tried using shower spray to wash it off, felt like diluting it was only making it worse and getting it in/on other places

4. Decide to try toweling it off.

5. Shampoo that was on my head starts running into my eyes causing me to go arse over tit over the side of the bath (combination of not being able to see, wet feet and minty fresh cock)

6. Land on floor grab towel and address cock related problem first.

7. De-shampoo eyes.

8. Think i'm alright , go for a piss an hour later and realise i must have got some up my japper during the shower head rinse off and subsequently feel like i'm pissing machetes for the rest of the day.

Not fun in the slightest, though very funny in hindsight.

A bit of an ordeal I'd have to say. I was however hoping for a similar story, but with and ending on you possibly going down a hill on roller skates and crashing into a shed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...