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Seagull Attack!


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I got attacked today by a seagull. I had just finished my weekend job at Sainsburys when I was walking through Garthdee and saw it flying low directly towards my face, so I ducked. It circled me, screeching and squacking as it went, came back round and dived at my head again, trying to peck as it attacked.

I found myself running from this bird as it attacked me for the seventh time in a row, trying to shite on me and hit me head with its feet.

I thought it maybe had something against Sainsburys uniforms, then I realised it must have been protecting its young or something.

Anyway, I'm going back to the spot where it attacked me tomorrow with equipt with an umbrella and a pellet gun to kill all its babies.

The pecky shites!

Has this happened to anyone else? It's really weird.

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the following tale is true:

I saw a guy just outside sainsburys who had obviously been out jogging. he had shorts, wife beater, walkman....the works.

he had stopped by the traffic lights and was avoiding a seagull which was swooping down in front of busses to get to him.

he was there 20 minutes before the lighbulb above his head dimly shone. he started taking off his clothes.

"i know, maybe the seagull hates my shirt"

weird

dont know how he eventually got away

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yesterday, whilst at work, a seagle (eagle's of the sea you see?) shat in my supervisor's coffee whilst we were sitting having a fag. That made me laugh almost as much as I have ever laughed so we need to remember to keep a few of these creatures alive if they are to be mass-exterminated, for comedy's sake more than anything else.

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A seagul once stole my burger from the downstairs kebab shop on belmont street - one of the best burger makers in town - i wasn't pleased!

On a side note, apparently there are more of the little buggers in Aberdeen than there are people so the council are going to do a kull. Instead of shooting the the fuckers or clubbing them (like the canadians and seals) they're going to put granite eggs in their nests so they never hatch but still look and feel the same. The gulls never realise they're not real eggs and look after them forever, suckers...

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i hate the things, i stay in torry in a street where the buildings are three stories high so the sea gulls sit on the chimneys and as soon as you come out your house you run or have your eyes pecked out by 1 or 2 sea gulls swooping at you till you leave the 150m stretch of buildings. i say that they should be rid of as soon as possible, they are very dangerous and have even killed some people by protecting their young!!!!!

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When i stayed in lossie it was really bad for getting attacked and people discovered that if you kill one then hang up its wing in view the rest fuck off and leave that area. The police were going mental cause everyone was tying to kill one to get a wing.

They go for me at work all the time (i think its the red boiler ssuit that does it) so got a really long bit a wood and tried to attack them with it. Been safe ever since.

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When i stayed in lossie it was really bad for getting attacked and people discovered that if you kill one then hang up its wing in view the rest fuck off and leave that area. The police were going mental cause everyone was tying to kill one to get a wing.

They go for me at work all the time (i think its the red boiler ssuit that does it) so got a really long bit a wood and tried to attack them with it. Been safe ever since.

I remember that they used to fly into the houses one day per year just straight into windows, i remember walking to hythehill and there being loads of them dead

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Bread>Baking soda (bicarbonate)

Soak the bread in water and baking soda

Then throw it in your garden (in full slices) That will attract only the big birds........(seagulls)

Stand back and watch them fall out the sky :);)

How about I take you outside and plug a high pressure CO2 cylinder into your arse. That would be much funnier... and I have access to all the necessary equipment.

But seriously, if I catch anyone being cruel to animals then I will beat the living crap out of them.

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