Guest ()Papaspyrou() Posted July 25, 2005 Report Share Posted July 25, 2005 Going the Thainstone carboot saleDad: Kiddo (his brother), you might want to get some toilet paperUncle: why?Dad: sometime the toilets dont have any toilet paperUncle: Good thinkingMe: Nah there's always loads i'm sureDad: Not if there's druggies around Mike, they'll use it allMe: hahaha what for?!Dad: Mopping up bloodDads....what WILL they say next?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marn Posted July 25, 2005 Report Share Posted July 25, 2005 That sounds like something Peter Griffin would say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest pop-notmyface Posted July 25, 2005 Report Share Posted July 25, 2005 Dads....what WILL they say next?!get off the bloody computer! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hog Posted July 25, 2005 Report Share Posted July 25, 2005 My dad is always so polite but when my mum is outwith hearing distance, Im a bald bastard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.Pel Posted July 25, 2005 Report Share Posted July 25, 2005 Almost as classic as the time Grandfather X picks up the remote control and says 'Hayley... you've forgotton your mobile phone!' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MDP Posted July 25, 2005 Report Share Posted July 25, 2005 My friend's grampa is a webdesigner, and does it all in html!!!!!!! lol, he is a total foot! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qzdiablo Posted July 25, 2005 Report Share Posted July 25, 2005 my dad asked me what record i was listening to, i told him it was by sonic youth and he remarked "oh, that 'pass the dutchie' lot?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bodast Posted July 25, 2005 Report Share Posted July 25, 2005 My dad came through a while ago after an evening of whisky and Fleetwood Mac DVDs and tried to say King Crimson but instead he said King Crimsmon about ten times and then left. He sometimes does say funnier things, but I can't remember any right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linzi Posted July 25, 2005 Report Share Posted July 25, 2005 When i was out visiting my parents in Florida in December, i would sit out in the garage smoking me cigs and listening to my music. However, i had gone back inside and had left the stereo on in the garage. I was yapping away to my mum when my dad came bursting into the house eyes wide open and clutching his chest. Turned out, he had walked into the garage to hear some good old scottish bagpipes, and was impressed that i was FINALLY listening to "proper music"....so my dad being my dad, thought he'd try and impress the neighbours also by turning up the volume on the stereo full blast!....only to find that the song was Shoots and Ladders by KoRn, and it kicked in just as my dad was right by the stereo up full blast....he wasnt so impressed then. I honestly thought he was gona have a heart attack!! haha, but i still nearly pissed myself laughing my ass off at him! the eegit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ()Papaspyrou() Posted July 26, 2005 Report Share Posted July 26, 2005 At the carboot saleUncle: Excuse me, could you take that out of the box (pointing at ornament)Lady: Ok, sureUncle: Oh thats very nice.......how much do you want for the box? (tatty cardboard)Lady stands confused and uncle walks away laughingA while ago at a butchersUncle: Have you got any chicken legs?Butcher: Oh yes son, plenty of legs.....how much do you want?Uncle: You should go and see a doctorUncle walks away gigglingMy family rules! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jake Wifebeater Posted July 26, 2005 Report Share Posted July 26, 2005 The one parental saying that cracks me up is the one often used to deal with an agitated/excitable/unruly kid on the bus. They say "Now, sit nicely". How the fuck do you sit nicely? I think it's a "nice" way of saying to sit there stock-still and to shut the fuck up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zippy Posted July 26, 2005 Report Share Posted July 26, 2005 my dad asked me what record i was listening to' date=' i told him it was by sonic youth and he remarked "oh, that 'pass the dutchie' lot?"[/quote']Thats a good one! Must have been thinking where all the reggae had gone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midgeski Posted July 26, 2005 Report Share Posted July 26, 2005 my mum informed me today that she had a "heavy metal" voice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bodast Posted July 26, 2005 Report Share Posted July 26, 2005 Ha.. my mum gets indigestion when we all sway from side to side at the table while she's eating Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ()Papaspyrou() Posted July 27, 2005 Report Share Posted July 27, 2005 Ha.. my mum gets indigestion when we all sway from side to side at the table while she's eating and I thought my family was odd!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
April Ethereal Posted July 27, 2005 Report Share Posted July 27, 2005 At the carboot saleUncle: Excuse me' date=' could you take that out of the box (pointing at ornament)[b']Lady: Ok, sureUncle: Oh thats very nice.......how much do you want for the box? (tatty cardboard)Lady stands confused and uncle walks away laughingA while ago at a butchersUncle: Have you got any chicken legs?Butcher: Oh yes son, plenty of legs.....how much do you want?Uncle: You should go and see a doctorUncle walks away gigglingMy family rules!You have the worst uncle ever! But in a good way Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
April Ethereal Posted July 27, 2005 Report Share Posted July 27, 2005 The one parental saying that cracks me up is the one often used to deal with an agitated/excitable/unruly kid on the bus. They say "Now' date=' sit nicely". How the fuck do you sit nicely? I think it's a "nice" way of saying to sit there stock-still and to shut the fuck up.[/quote']Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, so fucking true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
April Ethereal Posted July 27, 2005 Report Share Posted July 27, 2005 One family holiday to Greek isle of Skiathos. Myself, my mum and my brother are walking back to the apartment and my dad is 20 yards ahead of us, as usual. Out of the blue, this little Greek kid, about 15 or so, on a bicycle loses control and crashes rite in to the back of my dads leg. A big tyre mark up the back of his leg, a shocked and angry look on his face, the kid says in a panic, close to tears "Are you ok sir? So sorry sir"(He had surprisingly good english!). My dad's response was timeless, "Watch fit yer daein'!" That cracked me up! How the hell is this Greek boy going to understand his lecture if you've just given it in broad doric?! Tool! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demon Of The Fall Posted July 27, 2005 Report Share Posted July 27, 2005 ^^his dad"aye...eh......erm.....mmm...eh...aboot...ehh....toooo....mm...eh....aye....."a true mumbling genius Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
April Ethereal Posted July 27, 2005 Report Share Posted July 27, 2005 ^^his dad"aye...eh......erm.....mmm...eh...aboot...ehh....toooo....mm...eh....aye....."a true mumbling geniusDamn right! Don't know whos more incoherent, my dad or Karl, the chef. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midgeski Posted July 28, 2005 Report Share Posted July 28, 2005 mum: what are you and darren doing tonight?me: making love (sarcastically- but secretly hoping so)mum: you don't know how! i'll get you a video tape. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth_groover Posted July 29, 2005 Report Share Posted July 29, 2005 My brother just insulted my mum and she replied "Shut the fuck off". Was quite funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ()Papaspyrou() Posted August 3, 2005 Report Share Posted August 3, 2005 mum: what are you and darren doing tonight?me: making love (sarcastically- but secretly hoping so)mum: you don't know how! i'll get you a video tape.hahaha excellent!edit: I can lend you loads of tapes.......sadly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ()Papaspyrou() Posted August 3, 2005 Report Share Posted August 3, 2005 My brother turned out fine regardless of the number of times my dad called him a "Wet lipped backwards child". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinosaur Posted August 4, 2005 Report Share Posted August 4, 2005 My dad walked by one time singing the "Sperm Song" from monty python and the meaning of life. Quite disturbing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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