Biz

Dedalus last night They were fantastic,the best band of the night,closely followed by REAL SHOCKS although I only caught the end of the last song due to falling asleep,must have been something to do with the copius quantities of lager,he he he,Le Reno Amps were pretty good though,a lot more relaxed than the Stranglers support.

funny that the programme says you are playing 745-8pm,I'm pretty sure the programme must be wrong cos I can't see bands coming from Finland and England to play a 15 minute set,Fuck it,I'll come down at 7 30 ,then off to see REAL SHOCKS wahey!.

more to the point You have spent thousands on toilets which are a disgrace.How about providing taps that work,and not those shit ones that you push and get soaked whilst trying to clean your hands one at a time,WHAT ABOUT PAPER TOWELS!,AND A SOAP DISPENSER?,I expect the ladies especially to be as pristine at least as the bogs at work,but, in DR DRAKES and THE MOORINGS,and DRUMMONDS the toilets have been a fucken stinky shambles for years,and a a punter feel really cheated that after paying for two people to get in ,we have to go somewhere else to use civilised bogs.Any tourists must think Aberdeen is a real shit hole if the pubs can't even get running water in order.USE MY DOOR FEE TO PAY FOR THE BASIC REQUIREMENTS NEEDED IN TOILETS,I will NOT grass you off to the Environmental health NatZis,but some nasty person might.JUST GET IT SORTED and stop whinging about arseholes making the BOGS marginally shitter than they are.

Friday open mike Hi Sharon,could you ask Ziggy if I can I bring along my Roland V drums for a bit of a jam early evening?,cheers.

For sale a very spikey beauty ,or swap for a giggable drum kit,offers over350 only.

swap? I'll do a straight swap for my BC RICH Beast Bass guitar,it is a beauty,red and spikey,worth over500.

"we are having a gay T shirt competition and you came second... I won... I used to be a woman. That's hardly being nasty is it?,he he he

Yeah I heckle,but not to be nasty.I usually only heckle bands who I like,and I do not interrupt songs with inanities,I always wait till the embarrasing silence has gone on too long,then strike with a quick quip,thus diffusing the audiences boredom,and setting the band up for some cheecky banter back. If I genuinely do not like a band I simply leave and go and see another band elsewhere,I do not waste time on shite bands. My real reason for heckling is to develop some sort of rapport between the band and audience,and usually the bands like being given the oportunity to communicate on a more personal level with the audience. I did apologise profusely to the King Liar keyboard player ,and had a great chat with him and Sam , the joke went a wee bit too far,but that was more my problem than his,me being a bit of an arsehole because I was drinking on an empty stomach,NOT to be recommended. Some bands deserve to have fun poked at them as they truly believe they are wonderful,but I think that it is worth pointing out that if they can not take a joke they will not get very far,NOT EVERYONE is your friend or relative,and personally I am pretty sick of being told I am excellent by drunks,when I clearly am not. True fans will point out your weakest points and try to help you get better,but some of the more egocentric bands think they know it all and try to act as if they are superstars,the real superstars are the Dave Dixons and Ash Karloffs of the world ,folk who can put on a great show and retain their sense of humour,endearing themselves to the audience.And they dont strut around the streets acting as if they are somebody special,even though they are. Unfortunately the word HECKLE has come to be known as a put down,but it does not have to be like that,as I say I do not waste time telling folk they are shite, if I truly believe they are shite,I simply leave.Heckling can be great fun and my band XS RELOCAT have encouraged heckling since the first gig,but we look pretty dangerous,so most folk are probably a bit scared,having played in pub bands for years I have grown very fond of the hecklers and have made some great friends because of it,that's cos I like people who are honest enough to tell you what they really think. GO ON hae a wee heckle it's only a laugh.

Unapreciated-NO, extremely bad at notifying punters they are gigging-YES Come on Maple for fuck sake, how about having a web site that works,with a mailing list at least telling us when the next gig is,Apparently you are playing Drummonds on Friday,but he he he REAL SHOCKS and Josephine are at the Moorings,so I'll catch ya next time,or probably not unless I do my Sherlock Holmes and find out what the fuck is going on.Go to see The Sluts Of Trust at Dr Drakes,they are wonderful,and make me want to gig more than ever,ok it's nice to buy decent CDs like The Sissor Sisters and K i l ling Joke,but LIVE acts are where it's all at and Maple happen to be one of the few I would travel to see,and have done for years.

Masamune were terrific,not sure about the 1 man band though,I used to be a one man band but I split up.

XS RELOCAT HAS CANCELLED sorry but it's out of our hands and in the hands of Aberdeen hospital,Billys wife had a baby who is fine but she is very ill,DOH,CATCH YA NEXT TIME,CHEERS,Biz..

Oops sory Plato I never noticed it was you,and I promised myself to stop heckling too,DOH!but feel free to come along and call me the talentless piece of shite that I am!. By the way folks,go to see King Liar and The Brutes,they are the most entertaining and memorable band I have seen in quite a while.

speak about being intoxicated by the exhuberance of ones own diversity!do you call a spade an earth inverting horticultular implement?would you say shun worthless dirge instead of FUCK NAMBY SHITE?.

Aye Devo kick erse,I am gan ti dae Uncontrollable Urge wi 16 AGAIN. Ging to see The Stranglers Dave Greenfield on keyboards,he pulls some great noises oot o the things. Alternatively go to see XS RELOCAT at Dr Drakes and listen to a band that sound like SHIT but look GREAT,erm, or should that be the other way round? Onyway this Friday 21MAY Dr Drakes about 830 ish.

No apology needed on your part,I went too far with the boisterous remarks,I should have drank less and prevented you having to put up with such inanity,but hell,life goes on and once again I am offering an open invitation to all to come and heckle me next Friday.

Wow is my face red!SORRY again, I was very drunk ,I'll make it up te ye. Sam has got the right idea though,turning up at our gigs and heckling us is what it is all about,I saw Hot Mangu the other week and they were great with their golf claps and other nonsense. Audience participation is a much neglected thing and Sam did a great job of being the host with the most. See ya next Friday,cheers,Biz.

Uggggghhhh I am still as hung over as HELL,I woke up in Edinburgh on a train and had to hitch back for work,missing breakfast!. The Meccano Set were fantastic,I only wish I had picked on King Liars Sam more ,instead of the inept keyboard player as he was sadly lacking a sense of humour and genuinely seemed perturbed ,which although it just added to the fun, I do feel like a bit of a prick for pissing him off,King Liar were a hoot though,well worth seeing again , not sure about the image though,Natzi gaylords was done quite a while back,he he he. If he had got any closer I would have to demonstrate my Zen skills. I have a black belt in cooking,kill you with one chop. sERIOUSLY THOUGH sorry for the gratuitous heckle,I will pay you guys back by attending your next gig.

GO AND SEE THES TWO BLOKES,they are shit hot,I saw them at The Lemontree and even bought a t shirt,not sure about the James Bond Villain moustache though!.

Sad to hear the Lemontree is financially up the creek again,it is expensive to get in and the price of a decent pint is rediculous but at least they have decent toliets with taps that work without soaking your midriff like in Dr Drakes,and you can rest your arms on the bar or tables without getting stuck,and they hardly ever use that dry ice, which is great for hiding the fact that the venue is pretty empty,but absolutely horrendous for my health.I was once very ill for 3 days due to the excessive dry ice in The Triple Kirks.. The Lemontree is great it caters foe a very varied clientele and although expensive ,still worth every penny.

"I am a rub a dub soldier fighting to keep the rockers alive",I heard this song in the mid 1980s,it is an ace reggae song with a cracking bass line,anyone know what the song is called or who it is by?. Lee Scratch Perry is the man for Dub especially the Space Dub 3 Cd set. Black Uhuru are my favourites ,Robbie Shakespers and Sly Dunbar are the greatest rhythm section alive in the reggae department.Yellowan and Peter Toshs Bushdoctor are notable as weel,och aye the noo maan.

It may be 9 months,but it seems like last week. I go to see heaps of bands and Masamune are one of the few I would recomend . Others are Maple REAL SHOCKS Karloff the x certs . Mercury tilt switch and Deadloss Superstar are worth a look tae but nae worth 10 as the first 4 are , mair like 7.50 and 4.00 tops if I'm in a good mood,he he he good old Deadloss,he he he

If you like the drums louder than John Bonham, and faster than a stoat at a picnic, XS RELOCAT are the band for you,if you like NAMBY PAMBY SHITE you had better give us a miss,or at least wear ear defenders. Masamune are a wee bit like Trail of Dead,he he he can't wait.

The old guy doing the disco was Probably "Anyone fancy a bit of Sabbath?"Tony,Gav also did great reggae discos...much missed.Martin Bell was the guy who booked the bands and Steve Donaldson on Bass and me on drums did loads of gigs as The Visitors.

I bought one new for about 24 in 1982,a band had a hit record with a Casio VL Tone,but they cleverly changed the standard tune it played a wee bit,the record was called Da Da Da or similar, and came out in 1981 or 2.You could programme in different attack and delay times and make great cheap and shitty sci fi noises. I fancy a theramin though,I saw Man or Astroman use one in The Lemon Tree to great effect,with Dod Copland playing it with his tounge.

are you on glue?or just stupid?