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Football Manager 2012


Soda Jerk

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Followed an absurd 8-1 over league leaders Portsmouth with a 2-0 loss at midtable West Ham. They had 0 clear cut chances, we had four. Both goals came from corners. I had a right go at Big Sam after the game and called him a cunt several times. He didn't respond, so he obviously knows it's true. Wanker.

Currently sitting 4th in the Championship after 16 games. Scannell has scored 12 goals already, the cheeky little scamp. The Manchester clubs are interested in Zaha, but I think I might be able to keep hold of him. He gets to play in the same team as Peter Ramage at the moment. What more could he want?

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He perhaps wasn't getting game time before he left and because he's been away and performed well (?) he's thought ''fuck this, I'm way too good to be warming the bench - fuck you FOX, I want away please''.

Maybe he wasn't. I mean, with a team with Mata, Hamsik, Lampy and an in-form Sime Vrsaljko what can you do?!

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I'm kind of glad my game corrupted and I had to do the mass-clear-out again. Since I'm using the Aldi/Arsene Wenger philosphy "Spend a little, live a lot" I'm making the most of swap deals to freshen up the squad with young, exciting players. Darren Fletcher for Jordan Rhodes and Michael Carrick for Matt Jarvis for a start. Tidy.

Picked up Nathaniel Clyne on a free transfer too. Perfect Pat Evra replacement.

Yeah, I'm probably not going to win the league this season, but I'll get sacked trying to win it with kids. Come at me Glazers.

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My Friday night is turning into Operation save Arsenal.

So took Wengers job. Offered him the assistant role with me but he didn't want it the ungrateful cunt. So we moved on.

Sold Arshavin to a hat retailer for 12 mill. Almunia/Chamahk/Bendtner brought in another cool 13 mill. Add that to my year budget of 44.5 mill. I had a lot of money.

So I decided to keep the total football tippy tappy approach. Except now we tippy tappy it to the edge of the box then smash it towards the goal.

Signed Podolski and Hulk (18mill and 30mill). Affelay as well for 1.5 million!! We're scoring goals for fun from 20 yards. RVP is battering them in close range as well and the Ox is just flying down the wing.

Mancini keeps trying to nick Ryo Miyachi off me as well but I just keep telling him where to go.

Next plan is clear out the rubbish in defence in the winter break and sign some new defenders.

See Arsene. It's this easy.

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Someone buy Bebe! I offered him to clubs for £1k. I then tried to let him leave for free but the board say it costs too much in compensation. He reckons he's going to get into the first team no matter what I think of him. I keep having private chats with him to tell him hes shit. He actually refuses to speak to me now, which is mint, but he still won't fuck the fuck off.

Repeat the same story, but replace Bebe with Rio Ferdinand.

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Someone buy Bebe! I offered him to clubs for £1k. I then tried to let him leave for free but the board say it costs too much in compensation. He reckons he's going to get into the first team no matter what I think of him. I keep having private chats with him to tell him hes shit. He actually refuses to speak to me now, which is mint, but he still won't fuck the fuck off.

Repeat the same story, but replace Bebe with Rio Ferdinand.

Move him to the U19 squad, keep having those chats, fine him at every opportunity, keep offering mutual termination. There will be a point in time when he goes 'fuck this' and comes to you and says "hey, boss, I'm willing to accept that mutual termination now - for £x - you in?".

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I can't even speak to either of them anymore, they won't let me. And the option for mutual termination is gone, and when I try and fine them, it is greyed out. They are just plodding away picking up a wage, and Rio gets paid a fucking cuntload. Nobody wants them, even when I offer them for £1k, but as soon as I change it to zero, the board step in and block it.

I haven't tried putting them in the U18's. I'll give that a go.

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I've found a few kids coming through who have ridiculous stats, but seem very set on going to one club. I've been trying to sign some unattached regen kid called John Yazen but he's having none of it. I think he's "Chelsea fru n' fru" as he's just been snapped up by new Chelsea boss Holloway, and is now worth £26million, apparently. He has very well rounded stats in every department, mostly 16's and a few 19's. Ridiculous.

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These players NEVER come through my youth system and I'm at Chelsea, which apparently has a pretty decent youth system. Every year I get maybe one "potential to be a good player" and the rest aren't worth touching. Majorly annoying.

I have no idea what's happened to your games that isn't happening in mine, unless of course the game hates me.

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Even if your youth system is good, it's a good idea to bring in youth staff with better stats for working with youngsters and spotting potential. United have excellent youth facilities, but improving the staff made some great players come through. I never seem to produce the 15 year old footballing freaks that seem to crop up at other clubs though. My kids take years of loans and weaning into the first team. Bah.

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The halfway point:-

zwahqt.png

It's going alright. Pompey and Ipswich are just silly though. I have Paul Jewell's Sextape Army in the game after next though, so maybe I can close the gap.

Scoring shitloads of goals which is nice. I think the 4-2-3-1 shape works so well in England because so many teams play 4-4-2. My team are dead good are overloading the opposition in midfield then giving the ball to Sean Scannell who's a mighty fine poacher.

Game of the year:-

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