Sexism, etc.

[Oedo 808]

Erm... any 80s action movie.

As a fun joke try to view any Rocky montage scene as male objectification. Rocky IV would be a good one.

Here we go:

You could also write a nice neat piece about how as the men reduce themselves to nothing more than sheer exhausted muscle the women look on in approval.

(If you were that way inclined)

[Christy]

Thanks, I understand a bit more now. It is confusing, just because I thought all asexual people didn't have sexual urges. The programme I saw was years ago and my memory has faded, so my understanding of it will no doubt be flawed.

Putting it as simply as possible, it iis a physical urge and not a sexual one for the asexual male. However, masturbation is generally (and generally correctly) related to sexual impulses. That is not alwas the case, however.

[Elizabeth]

Erm... any 80s action movie.

As a fun joke try to view any Rocky montage scene as male objectification. Rocky IV would be a good one.

Here we go:

You could also write a nice neat piece about how as the men reduce themselves to nothing more than sheer exhausted muscle the women look on in approval.

(If you were that way inclined)

I think you missed the part where I said it had to have been made in the 2000s.

[Stroopy121]

In my office just now I noticed a guy carrying in a box of stuff (folders of documentation it looked like) for one of the girls.

Just for a little perspective, the girl works in Document Control and the guy is an Engineer, so the paperwork is in no way his responsibility, it's her job to organise and file it all.

My question is this: is it sexist for him to carry the box of stuff for her?

I understand that if she were a frail old lady then you'd obvoiusly help her carry stuff, just like I'd help a frail old man carry something that looked heavy or cumbersome. By the same token, if it were a scrawny, tiny little woman - or a tiny little man - who was obviously struggling with the box then again it's common decency to help them out. If it's a two-man (or woman) job to carry something, offering to help is once again just common decency.

But would you say it's sexist to automatically want to carry something for a girl who can pretty clearly carry it herself?

I can't decide if I think it's an Alpha Male tendancy, men wanting to carry the heaviest thing to feel like the manliest man, or if i think it's a man pitying the poor little woman who shouldn't be doing the man-job of carrying shit because women should be cleaning the stuff that men flex their muscles carrying. Or maybe it's neither of those two and it's a subconscious sexual thing - the guy just wants to be nice to the girl because guys are nice to girls because guys fancy girls...

xx

xx

[Guest idol_wild]

In my office just now I noticed a guy carrying in a box of stuff (folders of documentation it looked like) for one of the girls.

Just for a little perspective, the girl works in Document Control and the guy is an Engineer, so the paperwork is in no way his responsibility, it's her job to organise and file it all.

My question is this: is it sexist for him to carry the box of stuff for her?

I understand that if she were a frail old lady then you'd obvoiusly help her carry stuff, just like I'd help a frail old man carry something that looked heavy or cumbersome. By the same token, if it were a scrawny, tiny little woman - or a tiny little man - who was obviously struggling with the box then again it's common decency to help them out. If it's a two-man (or woman) job to carry something, offering to help is once again just common decency.

But would you say it's sexist to automatically want to carry something for a girl who can pretty clearly carry it herself?

I can't decide if I think it's an Alpha Male tendancy, men wanting to carry the heaviest thing to feel like the manliest man, or if i think it's a man pitying the poor little woman who shouldn't be doing the man-job of carrying shit because women should be cleaning the stuff that men flex their muscles carrying. Or maybe it's neither of those two and it's a subconscious sexual thing - the guy just wants to be nice to the girl because guys are nice to girls because guys fancy girls...

xx

xx

You answered your own enquiry with your last sentence, in my opinion.

[Stroopy121]

You answered your own enquiry with your last sentence, in my opinion.

Take note though, the girl in question today that sparked the enquiry is a bit of a hound... if that has any bearing?

xx

[Alkaline]

Take note though, the girl in question today that sparked the enquiry is a bit of a hound... if that has any bearing?

xx

One man's shit is another man's sugar.

[Christy]

Jesus, men and woman are different. Equality is all well and good, annd of course should be the norm WRT earnings etc, but it is a sad day in which a simple act of politeness is being discussed as potentially sexist (not accusing anyone btw). It feels like some folks wont be happy until we are one big androgynous race, scared of holding a door open for someone for fear of being accused of sexism.

On subjects such as equal pay, equal rights etc of course there should be no difference twixt man and woman. However, simple gender-based traits should not be lost.

When I offer to carry a female friends shopping, for example, I am not questioning whether or not I am being patronising or sexist; I am merely acting politely because it is the nice thing to do. Normally the obvious explanation is the correct one; there is no sinister or sexist motive.

[Guest idol_wild]

Take note though, the girl in question today that sparked the enquiry is a bit of a hound... if that has any bearing?

xx

None at all.

I think guys in general are usually quite happy to offer assistance to females, simply because it's a nice thing to do: chivalry and all that. It's not a sinister sexual thing. Unless the man in question is a rapist or domestic abuser, that is.

I think gentlemen just like to do nice things for females.

[Stroopy121]

I think you're probably right. But at the same time, if I were carrying a box of stuff - even if I were struggling with it - I don't think I'd feel comfortable passing it to a woman who was strong enough to carry it, or accepting help carrying it from a woman. Maybe that's just me and my inferiority complex, just wondered if it's as common as I'd have thought...?

I also remember watching some god-awful daytime tv show once upon a time and there was a guy on it who wrote a book about how men can look successful/in control - or something to the effect. Basically a list of things men shouldn't do because it makes them look silly.

One of them was you should never run in a suit, because wearing a suit implies you are in control - you're meant to be the fucking MAN - but if you're running it shows you either have shitty timekeeping skills and/or you're scared of the consequences of being late for something; ergo you're not the man at all, you're somebody's bitch and whomever you're running to meet is, in fact, the MAN.

Reason I'm rambling about that shit is because the only other example from this book I remember they mentioned was that you shouldn't be a passenger in a car driven by a woman... They called him on that on the show and he basically stuck to his guns saying that it makes you look like a tool because you're the MAN and you should be in control.

I think it was GMTV it was on, anyone remember? And does anyone have an opinion on being chauffeured by their better half?

xx

[Guest idol_wild]

I also remember watching some god-awful daytime tv show once upon a time and there was a guy on it who wrote a book about how men can look successful/in control - or something to the effect. Basically a list of things men shouldn't do because it makes them look silly.

One of them was you should never run in a suit, because wearing a suit implies you are in control - you're meant to be the fucking MAN - but if you're running it shows you either have shitty timekeeping skills and/or you're scared of the consequences of being late for something; ergo you're not the man at all, you're somebody's bitch and whomever you're running to meet is, in fact, the MAN.

Reason I'm rambling about that shit is because the only other example from this book I remember they mentioned was that you shouldn't be a passenger in a car driven by a woman... They called him on that on the show and he basically stuck to his guns saying that it makes you look like a tool because you're the MAN and you should be in control.

I think it was GMTV it was on, anyone remember? And does anyone have an opinion on being chauffeured by their better half?

xx

Whoever wrote that book has some serious life issues.

[Woodsinho]

I think you're probably right. But at the same time, if I were carrying a box of stuff - even if I were struggling with it - I don't think I'd feel comfortable passing it to a woman who was strong enough to carry it, or accepting help carrying it from a woman. Maybe that's just me and my inferiority complex, just wondered if it's as common as I'd have thought...?

I also remember watching some god-awful daytime tv show once upon a time and there was a guy on it who wrote a book about how men can look successful/in control - or something to the effect. Basically a list of things men shouldn't do because it makes them look silly.

One of them was you should never run in a suit, because wearing a suit implies you are in control - you're meant to be the fucking MAN - but if you're running it shows you either have shitty timekeeping skills and/or you're scared of the consequences of being late for something; ergo you're not the man at all, you're somebody's bitch and whomever you're running to meet is, in fact, the MAN.

Reason I'm rambling about that shit is because the only other example from this book I remember they mentioned was that you shouldn't be a passenger in a car driven by a woman... They called him on that on the show and he basically stuck to his guns saying that it makes you look like a tool because you're the MAN and you should be in control.

I think it was GMTV it was on, anyone remember? And does anyone have an opinion on being chauffeured by their better half?

xx

I don't like driving. If I had a girlfriend who liked driving I'd be happy to sit in the passenger seat. That'd be grand.

[Soda Jerk]

I had no problem getting driven about by the ex either. I probably don't have the concentration skills to drive. Daydreaming and that. Usually I'm scoring the winning point in an important sporting event. That would be no use to me if I've ploughed my motor underneath a tanker and smeared my innards all over the dueal carriageway.

[berti]

I have no problem about being driven, she likes to feel as though i 'trust' her to drive so i let her.

I used to automatically just grab the keys because i felt better driving because i have a substantial amount of driving years under my belt compared to her but now i dont care.

Besides the only time we are in a car together really is the weekend, and generally i have had a fair skelp the night before so its a no brainer for her to drive

[Mr Owl PhD]

I think you're probably right. But at the same time, if I were carrying a box of stuff - even if I were struggling with it - I don't think I'd feel comfortable passing it to a woman who was strong enough to carry it, or accepting help carrying it from a woman. Maybe that's just me and my inferiority complex, just wondered if it's as common as I'd have thought...?

I also remember watching some god-awful daytime tv show once upon a time and there was a guy on it who wrote a book about how men can look successful/in control - or something to the effect. Basically a list of things men shouldn't do because it makes them look silly.

One of them was you should never run in a suit, because wearing a suit implies you are in control - you're meant to be the fucking MAN - but if you're running it shows you either have shitty timekeeping skills and/or you're scared of the consequences of being late for something; ergo you're not the man at all, you're somebody's bitch and whomever you're running to meet is, in fact, the MAN.

Reason I'm rambling about that shit is because the only other example from this book I remember they mentioned was that you shouldn't be a passenger in a car driven by a woman... They called him on that on the show and he basically stuck to his guns saying that it makes you look like a tool because you're the MAN and you should be in control.

I think it was GMTV it was on, anyone remember? And does anyone have an opinion on being chauffeured by their better half?

xx

There's a clip on YouTube, if that's any help.

YouTube - Harry Enfield - Women, Don't Drive

[Alan Cynic]

I enjoy being driven by my g/f.....like Soda Jerk I value my life enough to recognise she is abetter car driver.

I would win on a motorbike though!

[ca_gere]

My girlbird has her own driver. It's for her work which involves a lot of moving around so not quite as glamorous as it sounds but it still makes me feel incredibly inadequate. Especially since driving in New York puts the fear of God into me. I doubt I'll ever try it.