Christians LOL

[Teabags 2614]

FSTDT Top 100

LOL

[Scootray 1047]

im christian

if we came from apes

how come were not hairy and have a big mouth

and did we end up looking like we do know

and besides

there isnt any serious proof of apes

they showd a video saying an ape was wondering around in the forest

that thing looked exactly like a costume that i had saw at a store

know one ever cought an ape

Love it.

[waltz 646]

This makes me embarrassed to have ever been near a church.

[FatHand 148]

Surely this is a joke? ...

im christian

if we came from apes

how come were not hairy and have a big mouth

and did we end up looking like we do know

and besides

there isnt any serious proof of apes

they showd a video saying an ape was wondering around in the forest

that thing looked exactly like a costume that i had saw at a store

know one ever cought an ape

[Scootray 1047]

I have always been afraid of Muslims. I remember the last time I flew (in '89 I think) I was on the plane and 2 men were sitting I think across the aisle talking in a foreign language. I was terrified that they were hijackers, and I was almost in tears the whole flight. In retrospect I think they may have been speaking French. But it was so scary for me at the time....

[The Kernel Loaf 81]

This is also why the hate crimes bill is so dangerous. It protects child molesters, AND if your child so much as turns down their own rape- they are guilty of a hate crime. If your child fights a rapist by scratching the face of their attacker- hate crime. Child molesters were qualified under this because their perversion towards childred is seen as sexual orientation. America is toast.

What the actual fuck.

[ZeromiserY 21]

out of context "God has a Holy, Righteous Penis"

in context: "No, God's Penis is not a biological organ. I never said God's Penis was the same as man's penis. Obviously it wouldn't be. That is why I pointed out God has a Holy, Righteous Penis. That is to say, it's not the same as man's corrupted, fleshy one.

As I said when this subject first came up, once again: Penises are not just for sex & peeing. It is only because man is evil that he thinks of penises exclusively in those terms.

Man is made in the image of God the Father. That is the primary reason why man has a penis.

You cannot insert your evil prejudicial ideas of man's penis onto God - which is exactly what you are doing. God's Penis is not equal to man's penis. It's really not hard to understand"

nothing can defeat gods penis!!

[jon 300]

Except a paper cut to the most holy bell end.

[Teabags 2614]

On October 18, 2004, Arthur Shelton, a self described Christian and Eagle Scout, murdered his friend and roommate, Larry Hooper, because Hooper didn't believe in God.

...

The trial began with the taped phone call Arthur Shelton placed to the Taylor police department in Taylor, Michigan, October 18, 2004, at precisely 12:44 AM. Shelton sounded calm and pridefull when he told the dispatcher he had just shot "the devil himself" with a revolver and a shotgun because "he (Hooper) didn't believe in God." Shelton told the dispatcher he was "still armed and ready to shoot again in case he moves. I want to make sure he's gone." When the dispatcher asked how many times he shot the victim Shelton replied, "hopefully enough."

Throughout the 15 minute phone call Shelton often repeated, "I'm a Christian and an Eagle Scout and I wouldn't lie," and "don't worry about me, I'm fine, but he's the devil." The dispatcher struggled to persuade Shelton to lay down his weapon and go outdoors with his arms raised. Shelton resisted, as he feared Hooper might not be "dead enough", but eventually complied.

Dead enough was an understatement. When the police arrived they were confronted with the grizzly scene of Hooper sitting upright on the couch with his head blown away and his brain laying on his hand. The autopsy report presented by the prosecutor was gruesome to be sure, but, for the record, Larry Hooper tested negative for all narcotics and alcohol.

Testimony by the arresting officer and the officers transporting Shelton to the police station revealed that while the officers were interested in gathering details about the incident, Shelton was obsessed with talking about God, the Eagle Scouts and stating he "would not talk to anyone who didn't believe in God but that he would talk to the police because he felt they believed in God."

...

He stated he "was not sorry for a second that he killed Hooper." He stated, "In the eyes of the law I was wrong and will probably spend the rest of my life in prison, but in the eyes of God I have killed an evil person -- the devil himself."

...

Judge Bill invited Shelton to make a statement and after fumbling for words Shelton stated he was sorry that Larry was dead but he did a job that had to be done. He stated that he actually, "saw fire and smoke coming from Larry's eyes and knew he was the devil himself."

...

Even with all that behind us, December 19th, the day of sentencing, was still a horrific experience for myself, George Shiffer, Joe Milon, Lee Helms and Marty Maier. When leaving the courtroom the 'Christian' Shelton family lay in wait for us in the hallway. Their tears dried, they surrounded us shouting these comments: "The one good thing of all of this is that another Atheist is dead and the world is better off for it" and "The only good Atheist is a dead Atheist."

[Teabags 2614]

[re: my boyfriend raped me]

Somehow I don't think the temporary inconvenience of being raped by your boyfriend can compare with being pounced on by thugs (for no reason at all)

[HairyScaryMark 29]

These people are fundamentalists as well as downright stupid and do not speak for Christians.

[jon 300]

"In an unrelated note. I always carry a few nuts and bolts at amusement parks. after we get locked in the ride and start to move, I hold up a few of them and say to the person next to me look what just fell out of this thing. It is a great witnessing tool. Everytime I did that the person next to me started praying."

That's absolute fucking genius.

[Dubya 333]

On October 18, 2004, Arthur Shelton, a self described Christian and Eagle Scout, murdered his friend and roommate, Larry Hooper, because Hooper didn't believe in God.

...

The trial began with the taped phone call Arthur Shelton placed to the Taylor police department in Taylor, Michigan, October 18, 2004, at precisely 12:44 AM. Shelton sounded calm and pridefull when he told the dispatcher he had just shot "the devil himself" with a revolver and a shotgun because "he (Hooper) didn't believe in God." Shelton told the dispatcher he was "still armed and ready to shoot again in case he moves. I want to make sure he's gone." When the dispatcher asked how many times he shot the victim Shelton replied, "hopefully enough."

Throughout the 15 minute phone call Shelton often repeated, "I'm a Christian and an Eagle Scout and I wouldn't lie," and "don't worry about me, I'm fine, but he's the devil." The dispatcher struggled to persuade Shelton to lay down his weapon and go outdoors with his arms raised. Shelton resisted, as he feared Hooper might not be "dead enough", but eventually complied.

Dead enough was an understatement. When the police arrived they were confronted with the grizzly scene of Hooper sitting upright on the couch with his head blown away and his brain laying on his hand. The autopsy report presented by the prosecutor was gruesome to be sure, but, for the record, Larry Hooper tested negative for all narcotics and alcohol.

Testimony by the arresting officer and the officers transporting Shelton to the police station revealed that while the officers were interested in gathering details about the incident, Shelton was obsessed with talking about God, the Eagle Scouts and stating he "would not talk to anyone who didn't believe in God but that he would talk to the police because he felt they believed in God."

...

He stated he "was not sorry for a second that he killed Hooper." He stated, "In the eyes of the law I was wrong and will probably spend the rest of my life in prison, but in the eyes of God I have killed an evil person -- the devil himself."

...

Judge Bill invited Shelton to make a statement and after fumbling for words Shelton stated he was sorry that Larry was dead but he did a job that had to be done. He stated that he actually, "saw fire and smoke coming from Larry's eyes and knew he was the devil himself."

...

Even with all that behind us, December 19th, the day of sentencing, was still a horrific experience for myself, George Shiffer, Joe Milon, Lee Helms and Marty Maier. When leaving the courtroom the 'Christian' Shelton family lay in wait for us in the hallway. Their tears dried, they surrounded us shouting these comments: "The one good thing of all of this is that another Atheist is dead and the world is better off for it" and "The only good Atheist is a dead Atheist."

A bit grim.

[Scootray 1047]

These people are fundamentalists as well as downright stupid and do not speak for Christians.

[Teabags 2614]

[waltz 646]

Teabags, is it not hypocritical to have a go at hardcore Christians for having beliefs and mocking others, when you're doing pretty much the exact same thing?

[Old Gold 1264]

More importantly, God will strike thou downeth. He'll throw the fucking ark at you, pairs of animals be damned.

[Scootray 1047]

Teabags, is it not hypocritical to have a go at hardcore Christians for having beliefs and mocking others, when you're doing pretty much the exact same thing?

Who cares? It's fucking funny.

[TheTickingTime-Bomb 10]

[TheTickingTime-Bomb 10]

More importantly, God will strike thou downeth. He'll throw the fucking ark at you, pairs of animals be damned.

Nah, God doesn't do shit like that anymore. After He became a father he chilled the fuck out.

Like Colin Farrell.

[Teabags 2614]

Teabags, is it not hypocritical to have a go at hardcore Christians for having beliefs and mocking others, when you're doing pretty much the exact same thing?

No, cos I don't tell folk that when they got raped, they deserved it.

[Adam Easy Wishes 2606]

No, cos I don't tell folk that when they got raped, they deserved it.

Unless they did actually deserve it.

[Mr Owl PhD 540]

They're coming to get us:

The Mansfield Family | Missionaries to Liverpool, England

The Mansfield Family | Missionaries to Liverpool, England | About Our Ministry

[Skubbs 253]

to name a few...

4. Why hasn't any extinct creature re-evolved after millions of years?

7. If we all evolved from a common ancestor, why can't all the different species mate with one another and produce fertile offspring?

12. List 50 vestigial or useless organs or appendages in the human body.

13. Why hasn't anyone collected the millions of dollars in rewards for proof of evolution?

14. If life began hundreds of millions of years ago, why is the earth still under populated?

15. Why hasn't evolution duplicated all species on all continents?

Do they even know what evolution is??? And how the hell is the world under populated? IDIOTS

[MattJimF 941]

Gay Teen Worried He Might Be Christian | The Onion - America's Finest News Source