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Someone to write me a CV


clayman
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I need someone to write me a cv, or atleast help me with one. I know scotcareers help you get one together, but the truth is im lazy and i dont have the ability to even write a good one. I need one that will make me look amazing and get me a good job.

I will be paying of course...

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i hate ainsley harriet you prick

hahahahaha.

I was actually offering to help but whatever.

If you're "too lazy" as you said to get a CV, or too fucking stupid to write your own one then you don't deserve to have a job.

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I need someone to write me a cv, or atleast help me with one. I know scotcareers help you get one together, but the truth is im lazy and i dont have the ability to even write a good one. I need one that will make me look amazing and get me a good job.

I will be paying of course...

This post begs the question, what's the point in a great CV if you come across as a twat in the interview?

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I'm not sensing a lot of support for Clayman here.......

What kind of job are you after and what's your area of expertise?

As a guide, try and keep your CV to a maximum of two pages.

Sections should be...

Career Summary

A brief synopsis of what you've been doing work-wise

Key Competencies (the wanky 00's word for skills)

e.g....

Project Management

Software Development

Database Admin

...type of thing

Work Experience (in reverse chronological order)

A brief summary of each job you've had (or role with an employer), with dates.

Education

Higher Education

Further Education (Uni, College) - with dates

Training

List of training courses you've attended

Follow that above format and you'll be sorted.

One note of caution - for fuck's sake, if you do nothing else, GET YOUR SPELLING RIGHT!!

I review hundreds of CV's in an average year...and notin pises me of like aplicunts who cant spel proputly or missyooz There, Their and They're and yooz rottum grammur and punktyuation...

...I can absolutely assure you that ALL employers think the same way...we used to take applicants names off the CV's and desensitize them (for ethical reasons) and see who could come up with the worst.

Some of them were frighteningly bad.

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I'm not sensing a lot of support for Clayman here.......

What kind of job are you after and what's your area of expertise?

As a guide, try and keep your CV to a maximum of two pages.

Sections should be...

Career Summary

A brief synopsis of what you've been doing work-wise

Key Competencies (the wanky 00's word for skills)

e.g....

Project Management

Software Development

Database Admin

...type of thing

Work Experience (in reverse chronological order)

A brief summary of each job you've had (or role with an employer), with dates.

Education

Higher Education

Further Education (Uni, College) - with dates

Training

List of training courses you've attended

Follow that above format and you'll be sorted.

One note of caution - for fuck's sake, if you do nothing else, GET YOUR SPELLING RIGHT!!

I review hundreds of CV's in an average year...and notin pises me of like aplicunts who cant spel proputly or missyooz There, Their and They're and yooz rottum grammur and punktyuation...

...I can absolutely assure you that ALL employers think the same way...we used to take applicants names off the CV's and desensitize them (for ethical reasons) and see who could come up with the worst.

Some of them were frighteningly bad.

Cheers Diesel!

Do you really get people spelling that bad?

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I'm not sensing a lot of support for Clayman here.......

What kind of job are you after and what's your area of expertise?

As a guide, try and keep your CV to a maximum of two pages.

One note of caution - for fuck's sake, if you do nothing else, GET YOUR SPELLING RIGHT!!

I review hundreds of CV's in an average year...and notin pises me of like aplicunts who cant spel proputly or missyooz There, Their and They're and yooz rottum grammur and punktyuation...

...I can absolutely assure you that ALL employers think the same way...we used to take applicants names off the CV's and desensitize them (for ethical reasons) and see who could come up with the worst.

Some of them were frighteningly bad.

I think it's a good idea to put in a small covering letter as well, just to say which job you are applying for (there may be several on offer which require completely different skill sets) as well as perhaps some blurb to say how you heard about the job and that you look forward to hearing from them.

I know there are a few folk where I work who are tired of just getting a CV with nothing to help sort it into the correct pile, we always need people for different departments.

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Guest Tam o' Shantie

I say fuck it - with your insatiable hunger for success and enthusiasm for hard work, not to mention likeable personality, you probably don't even need a CV. The world is your oyster. Just walk in to an office tomorrow, and shuffle the CEO off of his massive leather chair as if he were a naughty cat. You'll be in charge from now on.

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I say fuck it - with your insatiable hunger for success and enthusiasm for hard work, not to mention likeable personality, you probably don't even need a CV. The world is your oyster. Just walk in to an office tomorrow, and shuffle the CEO off of his massive leather chair as if he were a naughty cat. You'll be in charge from now on.

Only in Aberdeen can a bunch of student faggots get worked up by a simple outburst. Man up!

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