jester1470 Posted January 7, 2006 Report Share Posted January 7, 2006 A furious light sabre duel is under way. Darth Vader is backing Luke Skywalker toward the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks round, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.VADER: "Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father."LUKE: "He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"VADER: "No! I am your father!"LUKE: "No, it's not true! It's impossible."VADER: "Search your feelings; you know it to be true."LUKE: "NO!"VADER: "Yes, it is true and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?"LUKE: "Threepio?"VADER: "Yes, Threepio, I built him when I was seven years old."LUKE: "No."VADER: "Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp."LUKE: "I destroyed your precious Death Star!"VADER: "When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!"LUKE: "Well, it's not my fault."VADER: "Oh, here we go. 'Poor me! My father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday! Boo hoo! My daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith. Wahhh wahhh!'"LUKE: "Shut up."VADER: "You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights!"LUKE: "I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon!"VADER: "Oh, for the love of the Emperor, 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open. Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer, right here baby!"* * * Luke looks down the shaft and takes a step toward it.VADER: "I was wrong. You're not my kid. I don't know who you are. But you're certainly no relation to me."* * * Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft. Darth Vader looks after him.VADER: "And get a haircut!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RF Scott Posted January 7, 2006 Report Share Posted January 7, 2006 Hey, you lied, this is some sort of comedy sketch, not a real cut scene. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest pop-notmyface Posted January 7, 2006 Report Share Posted January 7, 2006 not a very good one at that too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fli$ Posted January 8, 2006 Report Share Posted January 8, 2006 I thought it was quite witty.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benji Posted January 8, 2006 Report Share Posted January 8, 2006 I'm sorry but I think this is fuckin awsome..."Oh, here we go. 'Poor me! My father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday! Boo hoo! My daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith. Wahhh wahhh!'"Quality Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachie Posted January 8, 2006 Report Share Posted January 8, 2006 I always did think Luke was a little bit whiney... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Afro Droid Posted January 8, 2006 Report Share Posted January 8, 2006 Luke doesn't become ace until ROTJ. Read Jester's thang a few times before, it's good. I always get a kick out of the bit in ANH when Luke, Solo ect arrive on the Death Star and Vader says : "Something...a presence I've not felt since..." NO SHIT SHERLOCK! Your son, the droid you built as a kid, and your former mentor just showed up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TR!ΔNGL€ T€€TH Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 Luke was never cool, and Anakin only became cool when he started hacking people up with his lightsaber just for the craic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Afro Droid Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 Oh come on! Luke is badass when he goes into Jabba's Palace! Bear in mind he almost single handedly rescues Leia, Han, Chewie and Threepio (Lando appears to do bugger all), destroys Jabba's sail barge and takes out umpteen guards, including stopping Boba Fett (Solo just finishes him off). AND the speeder bike chase! I get wet when he fires up his saber and cuts the fins of the scout trooper's bike....AND the final confrontation with Vader. Quid pro quo - Luke in ROTJ is ace. I need a life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardcore Mel Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 I need a life.you've only just realised this now? your passion for star wars goes almost unmatched in aberdeen, save for maybe darryl and nikki ca$ino. your bro is quite the padawan tho. anyone else seen mr lucifer cruising the streets of tilly with his star wars schoolbag? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Afro Droid Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 I had many a complimentary thing said about my bag today at college. A boy passing on a bus even mouthed "cool bag" at me.There's nothing I know about life I didn't learn from Star Wars. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardcore Mel Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 nice wedge avatar. when everything goes wrong in life, at least wedge has always got your back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Afro Droid Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 Star Wars and the music of Ginger Wildheart are the only things in life that have never let me down (discounting, Jar-Jar Binks, the Ewoks, Phantom Menace, the Episode II script and some of the singles club stuff). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trippinoneastereggs Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 Oh come on! Luke is badass when he goes into Jabba's Palace! Bear in mind he almost single handedly rescues Leia' date=' Han, Chewie and Threepio (Lando appears to do bugger all), destroys Jabba's sail barge and takes out umpteen guards, including stopping Boba Fett (Solo just finishes him off). AND the speeder bike chase! I get wet when he fires up his saber and cuts the fins of the scout trooper's bike....AND the final confrontation with Vader. Quid pro quo - Luke in ROTJ is ace. I need a life.[/quote']Still, I think Vader let him win. Plus Kenobi could have wiped the floor with Skywalker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Afro Droid Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 Still' date=' I think Vader let him win.[/quote'] Well yeah, the good left in him didn't want to kill his son, hence the attempt to convert him. Luke (still effectively a padawan) did pretty well against the two most powerful Sith Lords in the galaxy. Plus Kenobi could have wiped the floor with Skywalker.What d'you mean? Which Skywalker? Old Ben or young Scottish Obi Wan Kenobi? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 I heard an interesting conversation about people having star wars themed weddings the other day. Along the lines of getting everyone to dress as stormtroopers, the ushers and best man as imperial guards, father of the bride as the emporer (or maybe even the minister!) etc. Then things got really silly when someone suggested a LOTR crossover and getting half the church to dress as orcs. Gollum was also suggested but I pointed out he'd steal the rings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardcore Mel Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 if jonny ever gets married i'm certain he'd dress as boba fett. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trippinoneastereggs Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 I have a Chewbacca suit waiting for my bride. I comb it every night and shampoo it fortnightly. One of these days I will find the girl to fit it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trippinoneastereggs Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 What d'you mean? Which Skywalker? Old Ben or young Scottish Obi Wan Kenobi?Well if you got both Luke and Obi Wan at the same age and had them fight Kenobi would have Luke for Bantha Fodder. However Old Ben had trouble holding his saber...although that could have been some sort of honour thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardcore Mel Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 ben chose to submit himself to darth vader, because he knew he'd be of more use to luke using the force through the afterlife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Afro Droid Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 Well if you got both Luke and Obi Wan at the same age and had them fight Kenobi would have Luke for Bantha Fodder.I 100% agree, but Obi-Wan was a *properly* trained Jedi, Luke's only template was two ancient masters who, like you say, could barely hold a saber. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jester1470 Posted January 9, 2006 Author Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 I 100% agree' date=' but Obi-Wan was a *properly* trained Jedi, Luke's only template was two ancient masters who, like you say, could barely hold a saber.[/quote']You'd think one of them could have given him a holocron... However I bet Yoda could have still kicked ass if he'd chosen to...CheersStuart Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trippinoneastereggs Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 You'd think one of them could have given him a holocron... However I bet Yoda could have still kicked ass if he'd chosen to...CheersStuartnone of them really taught him how to fight. Obi Wan did a bit on the Falcon, Yoda tought him the other Jedi stuff. I doubt if, in either Yoda's exile to Dagobah or Obi Wan's escape to Dagobah, either of them would have had time to grab a holocron.Although are Holocrons considered cannonical in the film series? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Afro Droid Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 They're never really mentioned much outside 'Dark Empire'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jester1470 Posted January 9, 2006 Author Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 They're mentioned in Kevin J Anderson's Jedi Academy Trilogy. It's difficult to know whether the books are considered canon or not especially as Lucas himself borrows from the books when his world needs padding out. Coruscant as a name and as Imperial central was created by Timothy Zahn for his first trilogy.CheersStuart Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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