berti

some boy bleezing making scrambled eggs, fuck knows where it came from but a mate posted it on facebook. cracked me right up

at least they wear big colourful jackets to warn you of their bellend-ishness with enough warning for you to take out your phone and pretend to be having the best conversation in the world as you pass them. Or as double barrier, headphones in, pretending to text.....eyyy:rockon:

QFT, i got a job there and im a complete spastic, which division? That one is obviously directed at stroopy.

You got 15 out of 27 in 5:49 Yas min, considering i stopped watching the new ones about 5 years ago!

I took my girlfriend there when we were in 1st year and we sat on the cushioned booths that looked a lot softer than they apparently were.....i cocked my arse and let out the most horrific earth shattering fart completely underestimating the muffling capability of the seat. she was mortified as were the surrounding tables.....and it stunk, and i mean, reeeeeked. one of those ones that could strip varnish. shes still with me 8 years later and the story has never been forgotten...... cool story bro etc

canna watch forest gump for that reason. greeting like a fuckin bairn thats had its toy taken away first time i saw it. Flicked through the channels when it was on recently....got to a sad bitty and that was it, tatties again.

i never knew about that urban explorers forum. that is fucking ace, that sort of stuff really interests me and im well chuffed there is so much stuff to see in aberdeen! now i only need to find a way to ask folk to go exploring with me without sounding like im going to a) rape them b) stab them c) all of the above

trying to pick up a ping pong ball that is bouncing around the floor and continually missing. coupled with 'that ba's making you look a right knob' fml.....

they showed it on sky news this morning. it looked like a halloween mask, he had no eyeballs, looked pretty conclusive though.

not as bad as the other way around. especially when you are picking it up from the deck and it ends up pulling you onto your face....definitely not cool

pretty sure she has downs like.....

navigating onto a bus with many shopping bags masturbating on an airplane

a thousand times yes, i saw a cyclist fall off his bike at the haudagain roundabout because he couldnt get his feet out of the clips quick enough when he stopped in traffic. It made my week. You never know what the fuckers are going to do, such as running red lights and generally just cutting across the road without looking. I drive a motorbike and i take a shitload more care and attention than the majority of cyclists in the city. They are just properly mental.

wait.....what?

Really? I agree with Good News being pretty gash but i think TV Burp is even worse. I have been put through it a couple of times by other people and while there may have been a couple of occasions where it raised a smile, i found most of his humour really really puerile and just revolves around loud noises and flashing lights. Never seems to know when to quit a joke either, just tends to keep going until its actually really uncomfortable to watch. Each to their own i guess, luckily my missus hates it too!

I was shitscared to play resident evil when i was a kid - the first 3 on ps1 - so i had to play them only at daytime and when there were lots of other things going on around me so i didnt feel isolated with game and hence enhancing the shitting-my-pantsiness factor. One day i did brave it when there was no-one in the house, and the fucking cat sneaked up behind me and brushed my arm. Loose bowels ahoy.....

nothing particularly 'dangerous' about cracking one of in the work bogs, unless its at the urinal of course.....but i guess that depends how much you enjoy your job.

10 minutes per wank or.......? cos to be honest thats probably double what i manage, i find an efficient wank far more satisfying. Otherwise chafing gets to be a bitch, and i always seem to need a piss after i finish, which is also very inconvenient. on the subject of being emotional, hearing this shit gets me every time YouTube - Time to say goodbye HD no idea why, i find classical music hits an emotional nerve far more frequently than any other type.

and just joining in for the 'guess who' and 'wankers' part

that was pish, but i couldnt help but crack up.....curses to you woman

this was the first thing i saw after clicking on 'pet hates' thread, i laughed....louder than i intended as im wearing big headphones in the computer room offshore. So understandably there are other people in the room. Felt like a bit of a dick after. Still an awesome thing to see when you have no idea of the back story though, i didnt even go back to find out who is indeed deserving of a swift boot in the hairy axe wound. oh yeah....erm, pet hates.....erm, clouds and, you know, other shit.....graham norton. what a cunt he is.

that was also enjoyable! on a sidenote, going to see Jason Manford on the 1st April (so long as im not still stuck offshore). Since i actually bought the tickets he has become a bit diluted, seems to be everywhere but i think his standup is still going to be shit hot. Saw Russell Kane when he played Lemon Tree at the end of January also and he was excellent, so was the support but im damned if i can remember his name now....think it might have been Mark Nelson but thats a guess.

I had never even heard of Louis CK before i read this forum, just watched his shameless set on youtube. Fucking hilarious, the bit about masturbation cracked me right the fuck up!

I'm working my way through series 1 at the moment, just watched Toombs last night. Thoroughly enjoyed it so far. It used to scare the shit out of me when i was young, especially one episode that i forget which series it was in. Some wormy creature that can crawl through your pipes and comes up your lavvy. He ends up getting cut in half but at the end it shows his eyes popping open again.....didna sleep properly for days after that one!

Bulletstorm! thats the game that i was trying to discover which song was in the advert! Still probably doesnt get me any closer but at least i remember the name now.....