Old Gold

Something something don't take it too hard.

The worst way I ever left a job was while I was working as an agency shit shoveler on oil rigs. I only got paid for the days I worked, so the fact I even had a contract was a total joke. My foot was in the door for working offshore however, so I applied for a bignuts job and was given a very casual interview. However, due to the fact that the agency was affiliated with the company I'd been sniffing about, my mighty cockhole of a boss found out about it. Queue me getting a number of cockhole e-mails from him while I was sitting in Holland working for him with no ink yet put to paper for my new job - e-mails ranged from 'you're making a lot of people's jobs very difficult' guilt trips to 'your P45's in the post' and 'I'll see you in court' threats. All that with very minimal replies from me, trying not to rock the boat. Unfortunately despite the fact that I was essentially jobless (agencies like that don't have to fire you, they just stop giving you work and starve you out), I foolishly failed to be extremely abusive to that guy. Handed in a very polite letter of resignation instead. Shite.

I'm furious that no-one told me about it sooner. I thought the internet had my back.

It's technically breach of contract, but they probably won't do anything about it except be pissed off at you because court is expensive. It's always nice to not burn bridges though.

I've been watching Axe Cop. It's a cartoon about a cop with a fire axe, various special powers and a dinosaur with machine gun arms as a steed. It's quite the piece of art.

I reckon Superstrats are due to come into vogue. The mathy widdlers and the hipster black metal folks are going to start pie-ing their Telecasters and go all EVH, mark my words.

Yeah, I like the old-school curves. The So Cal is a bit too pointy and dangerous looking to my tastes. It's weird that the HS HT San Dimas is the only one that you can get with a rosewood fretboard. Don't get me wrong, I like the look of a maple board on most things, but the Charvel ones are a sort of off-white and look a bit pish.

Floyd Roses don't bomb enough for me. I'm going to gently steam the neck and just bend that.

I've got uncharacteristic GAS for this built-for-speed motherfucker: Shame I can't shred in the slightest.

Young A, are you a danger to single-sex vulnerable children?

That was very funny.

I view any wedding where I can't get pished for free while I wait for the wedding party to have their cheesy photographs taken as badly organised.

I reckon sending anonymous death threats.

Requiring specifically used SIM cards suggests you want them for dodgy dealings.

Selling burners or something?

Admittedly there are probably bigger arseholes I could spend my time making disparaging remarks about on the internet in my spare time, but then again there are probably more worthy people you could stick up for, so ho hum.

I understand if you don't believe making a donation that supports a political movement to interfere with something that stops gay couples having the same rights as straight couples is 'absolutely no information', but there's not really much I can do about that. And if calling a rich, straight white guy from the US of A out for being behind the times is the same as being a nazi-homophobe, then we're bordering on you sparking up an argument in favour of reverse racism or something. I'll just say that simply IMO - which you will fight to the death for - the guy's probably still a prick, despite his flowery open letter promising not to do anything else to make people think he's a prick.

I disagree. People can absolutely say what they want, but they do not have a right to be happy. Otherwise it would hamper on the freedoms of sensible people to call backwards cretins like this on their shit.

Couldn't You Wait - the story of Silkworm The ultimate band in the wrong place at the wrong time - moved from smalltown West America to play proto-Indie Rock in Grunge-saturated 90s Seattle and made small ripples. I really dig Silkworm, but it was a strange documentary. A lot of love for their deceased drummer, some very cool soundbites from Albini, great live footage... yet compared to the other alt-rock doc I saw this year- Filmage - a strange beast. I don't really think anyone will be sold on Silkworm just down to this film. As many of the talking heads proudly admit: you won't like Silkwork, or you'll fucking love Silkworm. However, if you want to see what side of the fence you fall on, check this out: If you like that, 5/5 for this film. If you don't, fuck you.

Covert bag of unadulterated child piss it is then.

I think your best bet is to just go nuts on the waters starting immediately so that your pish is well diluted. Also, no chance it'll be anything more than a piss test unless the company really want to sack you - ie. you're trying to sue them or something.

Out of curiosity I just chased a little slice of lurpack with a mouthful of coffee and it tasted pretty amazing.

I might give the salty butter coffee thing a go. Decadent.

My buld skelped me a V60 filter dealy from work. I'm in coffee wanker Valhalla.

Carrots Gladstone: Power Bottom.