JaseyBoi

After visiting jade garden chinese (the old donview) we decided last night to get a home delivery, It was horrible....Chips were soaking and soggy....The sizzling steak tasted like it was cooked in brown sauce...My missus chiken looked like it was in water and beansprouts........ Fantastic eat in facilty's...Bloody dire home delivery service.

I am currently awaiting on 3 films/kids stuff in 3d but ive read mixed reviews online Coraline 3D Journey to the centre of the earth 3D Jonas brothers 3D But online a few places state these are no use for home tv's as you need all dfrent type of 3D glasses....Is this true?....I have a 52" panasonic Viera TV and totally thought that these would be spectacular on my TV...Well all but the devils own Jonas brothers but my 6year old loves them... 3D Glasses i have atm are the ones you get from the cinemas... Real D 3D

Whats black and gets abused daily on Aberdeen-Music? Punctuation.

District 9 Made as a filmumentary. . .I really quite enjoyed this peter jackson movie....Was a different take on an alien action movie...

Ok ive stopped...Lets hear some of you guys elite hilarious jokes then.

Oh i do get a fair few laughs ..Only in the last day ive had 2 rep comments added . . Cant please all of the people all of the time.... What about this one I hate double standards. Like if a girl goes out and sleeps with loads of guys she's considered a "slut". Yet if a guy does it...he's considered a "homosexual".

Well they make me bloody laugh....I often find when i tell myself a joke i havent heard in a while i get a giggle...

Inglorious Basterds Just watched it and bloody loved it.....

There is no such thing as a shit joke...As a joke you wont laugh at 10 others will and a joke you laugh at 10 others wont.... A jokes a bloody joke who are you to analyze it and deem it shit?. A man says to his wife, "Tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time." His wife replies, "You've got a bigger dick than your brother." *analyse see what i dids there*

No he cant say what ever he wants...But being on this forum a few years everyone grows acustom to everyones whims and the like...Then every year a "new guy" appears and tries to be "outhere" and "not straight edge" bombarding the site with shit that was said/posted last year by the "new guy" and the year afore by the "new guy" lol get my point?... I appreciate rep is no big deal but surely going by yours you could decide to tone it down a bit and stop jumping ontop of everything everyone is saying.. These are my thought's not aberdeen-music's feelings...... Lets just stick with jokes in this thread NO?. My missus was saying to me the other day that it was on the news that men officially cant multitask....I replied knowing fine this was a lot of shite....She asks then prove it....I tell her that last night while we were having sex i was thinking about her mum...

And where the fuck is my name in that list?.....

I wouldnt have thought so as i didnt take it as a personal attack.......Kernel is kernel....He has been around since 05 and has always been a grumpy grump IMO lol . . .Well not always just always to me..... Oh and he hates my jokes and my funny pictures so meh....I laugh at them

Wheres the joke?......Do dumb people think 360 is 180 degrees?..... Shit joke. Indeed. I read in the paper today that Manchester City have sold Shaun Wright-Phillips to Madonna.

LOL 360 . . . Then you would be facing it again.....not walking away...

How very dare ye lol...... Tell us a joke then?.

I didn't slag you off i simply said that blackburn joke was shiite lol . . .Doesn't make you a bad person. There was outrage in the big brother house a couple of weeks ago, after marcus called david a 'fat cunt'. If you haven't been watching, Marcus is the one with the sideburns, and David's the fat cunt. Apparently, you can suffer from OCD and not even be aware of it. Apparently, you can suffer from OCD and not even be aware of it. Apparently, you can suffer from OCD and not even be aware of it. Apparently, you can suffer from OCD and not even be aware of it. They any better?.

I loved it....I watched the documentary called Clough 2009 straight after it which just finished it all off bloody nicely....I highly reccomend both.

My best mate is entering the X-Factor this year and I wanted to give him all the help and support I can. So I've killed his mum. This Chinese chap goes into a bank to change some currency. After receiving his money he asks, "How come I came in here with same amount of money as yesterday but today I get less Yuans in return?" The banker says, "Fluctuations." The Chinese guy replies, "Fluck you Blitish too

Atleast when my jokes are close to the bone there funny...Thats just an utter shite joke mate..... Utter. So what if Jesus turned water into wine...I turned a whole student loan into Vodka once. Your move Jesus... There was an Explosion at a pie factory in Huddersfield. It was reported 3.14159265 people died.

I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted, "Oi, what's your disability?" I said, "Tourettes! Now fuck off you cunt!"

Couldnt find the review thread so thought i'd post it here Went to jade Garden in b.o.d (the old donview) tonight with the missus and the daughter...10/10 bloody loved it...Up there with the best chinese ive ever had....Slight problems were theres zero kids menu so our 6yr old had an adults portion and only ate a tiny bit of it...The waiter came over asked us if we wanted our leftovers to take home....I know this is common policy in other countrys but ive never ever been asked if i wanted to take stuff home...We did and im taking it to work tomorow as my peace lol . . Our Order Sizzling steak in original jade garden sauce topped with chopped vegtables. (11.50 or 7.50 on carry out) x3 portions of chips x2 chicken on a bed of beansprouts topped with bbq sauce(8.95x2) x2 cokes x2 pints of fresh orange and lemonade portion of prawn crackers Came to 46 which isnt to bad i sposse...Oh and no main course come with chips . . . Bloody loved it.

I have a 6year old pomeranain...Had him aince he was 8weeks old and he's a bloody nutter..His name is Mr Wullie Burton.Highly intellent little dogs when it comes to showing off either it be dancing or the best begging tricks ive ever seen...Totally untrained by myself and my missus as we are lazy bastards....No idea where he learned these things so im pressuming they must instinct..

I'm going to go rob a bank tomorrow. I plan on dressing up in a clown wig and make up and only wearing a thong and nipple tassels. I'll carry a goat and a can of fluorescent paint in one arm and, while in the bank, I'm going to fuck the goat and throw the paint over the walls, all the time ripping up pages of a phonebook and swearing my head off. After getting the money, I'll take a shit on the floor and piss everywhere. I then will escape in a van shaped like a giant pink cock. Let's see Crimewatch fucking stage a reconstruction of that. Zebo, a half blind 5 year old African orphan has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes. Please give just a small donation of 2 and we will send you the video; it's fucking hilarious! sikipedia.org

Its not you is it? .

I heard today that 6 illegal immigrants where killed in the back of a tesco lorry trying to smuggle there selfs into britain.... A tesco spokesman commented "Every little helps"