JaseyBoi

I like the wormery idea but the tank is far to big.......And to wide.....I'd also quite like a wee ant farm i think but what the hell do i know about ants lol....Plus if they all got out what a nightmare lol.... Gekko's sound interesting aswell like...Scoured the net for a few forums and currently looking at other peoples tank set-ups...

Two storys i remeber from my childhood which untill i was older i didnt quite get.. When i was like 7 i remeber going out for a walk with my uncle to collect mushrooms....We spent all day looking for these wee things which he informed me he made things with.....Wasn.t untill i was like 15 i realised what the fuck it was we were actually looking for....... I also remember a time we snuck out to my friends dads shed and we found a box of polaroid pictures in a box of an ugly looking lady all dressed up in sexy undies with really bright make-up on........Was'nt untill a few years after we were at a party and his dad came dressed as a spice girl that we bloody realised that those images we had found were of his dad ..... Both 100% true storys...So got me thinking some of you folks must have some funny "i remember" storys lol...

True story When i was like 8years old we found an old skudder mag down by the railway line where there were old like containers and things.....We all ripped a bit out and stuffed them in our pockets...I looked at mine and to be honest had no idea what it was....As i say stuffed it into my pocket and forgot about it lol.....My mum found it....Turned out the bit i got was a full blown shaven 55year old with the road kill poonany look(This was the 80's shaven poonanys werent invented yet).....My mum was fucking mortified and didnt talk to me properly for weeks.....She musta asked me like 1trilion times where i got it and whom gave it me. And Amazon do some good study books...And of course fleabay. /EDIT and no my mum wasn't so mortified cos it was her poonany.

My 6 year old daughter finally annoyed me enough this weekend i finaly gave in and bought an all singing all dancing fish tank lol...See this thing it looks very nice....The ornament for the bottom of it she chose a lifesize human skull lol....Dont know how deep to think about that one lol..Anyway i now have a redundant 15Ltr tank which im looking for ideas what kinda low maintenace wee pet i can keep in it.....Not fish tho preferably.Also no spiders or snakes as they give me the heeby's. Any of you know any good links for a pet i could get please let me know. Pic of the new tank

I read and have heard through the grapevine magneto is also getting an origins movie...If i remeber correctly it will be set in his past so wont have the same actor playing him...

Ive never once said i wanted to sort anyone out...Im not a violent man...Also mate this thread was the straw that broke the camels back....The same forum trolls wether its picture threads or joke threads come on and moan moan moan..... And again you say i tell rubbish jokes yet my reputation and PM;s tell me its you guys that are wrong not me.....Just because you think a joke is shite/immature/racist does not mean everyone does...(Not that im saying you said any of these things).. Anyway this is a jokes thread after all so can we just tell jokes...If i tell one you dont like just ignore it...Please dont post telling me its shite...As again for every single joke i have been bashed for publicly i have recieved many a rep point for.... _______________________________________________________________ I was clubbing the other night and I was totally pissed. I walked up to this beautiful blonde and said, "Duck my sick!" She said, "You're pissed - don't you mean suck my dick?" I puked on her and said... "No!"

So Dan G since you have jumped on the bandwagon can you explain how you came to the decision that im really 17...FFS next you will be saying im sexytunk...Please inform me how me telling shitey jokes makes you think im 17?...... I can assure you im 34 years old.....My spelling/punctuation and lets be honest general grammar sucks ass...But again i cant see how this would make me seem like a teenager....Read back i have done NOTHING to deserve the cyber bullying from gadgies who i bet would never say half the things to my face they have said in here... I'm soo fucking angry the same usual forum trolls have again decided to cyber bully another member/supporter of this forum......I'd love to meet a few of them in real life so we could iron out all this shite..Instead of every few weeks coming into random threads to tell me how much a fucking dick i am...... Know me then judge me....

Ok fair enough guys my jokes aint hilarious and fair enough most of my posts seem to piss a lot of you off but why every now and then does the same wee gang need to pick me up on it and repeat the same shite again and again....Im a fucking 34 year old dyslexic manni...This was only discover after i left school obviously as there was no such thing when i was a boy..This coupled with sharing the same surname as the yorkshire ripper my school years werent full of education and love....The same wee gaggle of guys that do repeatedly abuse me and my posts please fucking put me on ignore..PROBLEM solved..........I mean this is the fucking jokes thread yet you come here to smite. I will not follow up with a joke here as the fucking hatred towards me is disturbingly hurtful...

Lol racist i'm no bloody racist....Go look all over the forum and see all the racism/sexism/bigotry....Me repeating a funny joke does not make me a racist.....Go look at the funny picture thread for a start nion every other picture from nion everyone is close to the line.... The grammar card then the racist card WOW you guys are original.....

At the end of the day you can cyber bully me regarding my jokes all you want....I will not stop posting a joke if i read it elsewhere and it makes me giggle...Only a few of you guys HATE my jokes there are some who actually like them.... And ffs yes my grammar sucks get over it...Bad grammar doesn't make me a bad person....In with anger out with love guys......

Actually for your information Jimmy carr gets his bloody jokes from the same place i do....Siki...Its a well known fact that frankie boyle and jimmy carr scour through siki for most of there material....Go on siki and you will see.... And i do apologies i didnt realise i had to make my jokes up myself...Apologies to you sir for making you read jokes that are not mine . . . . And to be honest if you dont get the tesco joke i honestly dont believe you should be reading any jokes......From anyone....

A senior citizen goes in for his yearly physical with his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room he says, "I will need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample." The man, being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and asks, "What did he say?" The wife yells back to him, "GIVE HIM YOUR UNDERPANTS"

Lego has clearly advanced since i was a boy...Lol all i had was a few varied brick types and a few wee guys... Musta took those guys quite a while to make some of them.

Come on now with adverts like that smoking cant really be that bad for you can it?. Some of these are crackers like. Eve. "Farewell to the ugly cigarette" was also one of their slogans. This advertising campaign was directed at women and young girls. Virginia Slims. This ad campaign started in 1968 and was directed at young women. Within the next two years smoking among girls ages 12 and up increased over 110%. Winston. In 1962 Winston's cigarette "spokespersons" were the Flintstones. The Flintstones was sponsored by Winston at that time. After Wilma became pregnant though, the Flintstones was sponsored by Welch's Grape Juice. Smart move. Old Gold. Another slogan for Old Gold was "We're tobacco men...not medicine men." One 1952 print ad stated "If you want a treat instead of a treatment, smoke Old Golds!" Taken from Cigarette Ads and Slogans of Yesteryear - Fun Facts, Questions, Answers, Information

So i heard today Heather mills is officially gold digger of the year 2009....It got me thinking...... Would she get that leg on a spade?.....And would it effect her balance?.

No no no Peter Reid fae peterheed is deed

Josef Fritzl is delighted that his sentence has been reduced to 100 hours community service. He has been ordered to spend it teaching Gerry McCann how to lock a fucking door. And a sicki for the road Anyone else wonder why people in wheelchairs still wear shoes?

This guy kinda sums up how he done it in 30 seconds . . .

The Greggs...

http://www.aberdeen-music.com/forums/general-discussion/38388-draconian-vs-richards.html Hope that helps.

And whats wrong with Oasis (Fell free to reply with the original statement with..."Whats right with them" lol ) As you were.....Nothing to see here...Oasis rock the kasbah.....Also feel free to further inhance the mental picture of me being a cockrot fucktard :)

Are take that a band?....This is not my opinion but surely they would be well before some of the random poop thats been mentioned in here....Aparently there the biggest manband on the planet as of now.... MY favourite bands of all time (Not THE best band ever.) Oasis The beatles The rolling stones Kings of leon Coldplay Josh Rouse (And his band) Antony and the johnstones David Gray (And his band) Pink Floyd (NOT all albums) RadioHead MJ Etc etc .. .. But this is my opinion....Whom ever already said it was right...No-one person can/could decide the best band ever....

Was hypnotised by the new pizzahut advert describing the tikka pizza . . .I thought i'm avvin one oh them...So made a big order and got it on time piping hot....Gotta say i wouldnt buy one everytime but it was superb like.... Get one.